If you ever end up falling
you could never catch yourself
is this the reason why
you never say 'I love myself' ?

im screaming at the clock to please stop ticking seething at the moments that won't stop sprinting through oh why are you running away i am crying for the nights that i was not crying i am longing for the nights when you longed for me too i'm searching for the time i've lost because who gave it the right to just ******* run away
i'm sitting here in pieces shattered by a memory
who gave it the right
to just become a memory?

It begins when a
butterfly dies. My stomach
is an insect grave.

I am the embodiment of all
things good and trustworthy,
I have a devilishly seductive
smile.

Come on you know you can
trust me, look in to my eyes,
there hypnotizing wouldn't
you say.

''yes I understand''  

You know what to do, just sign
on the dotted line, repayment in
ten years then you owe what is mine.

'' I'll sign so it can be mine''

Sign in red on the dotted line,
as he smiles with a raised eyebrow
the deal nearly sealed, you can
trust me, as the black feather tip
scratches across the line.

I am the embodiment of all things
good and trustworthy, he says
and the deal is done, devilishly
he smiles, see you in ten years,
trust me ill back now the deal is done....

My eyes may be dry, that's because I cry inside

I only desire
To escape this insanity
Which I held dear
long ago.

Now I scream
For a sane mind
And a perfect soul.

I need something new
A change of scenery
I need a good change,
and live my dreams in reality
I need new feelings
New body
New concepts
Sometimes I get them
Sometimes I just remember what I already knew
New things rarely happen
And I'm just tired of the same things
I feel like everyday's the same and I'm left to discover on my own
I feel like everything is grey and there's no color to behold
I need something new
And I've waited 16, almost 17 years
My whole life
And the only new thing that has happened is my body and mind
*Which I don't like

I wish I had a life's moments eraser
To erase all the bad moments from others memories
But I would like to keep them in mine
They give me humility
They give me the charm and qualities I have now

I wish I were beautiful
So that I could not be so nervous when I talk to people

I wish I were a better writer
So that I could be famous for it

I wish I were a better vocalist and that I were musically talented
I can sing already I just want to be better

But I'm the exact opposite
I can't erase my bad moments
I'm not beautiful
And I'm an alright writer, I'm just not the best of them
I can sing good, but I'm just not great

*But I wish most of all to be able to have children someday

A collaboration with Jack**

For within the veil of darkness
where shadows dance in place of light
Searching for answers…lost smiles
along a curved road of desperation…I reach for your hand

You, my anchor, my beacon of light
shine down on me this day
call my name over roars of bitter sorrow
so that I may chase its echo back to you

And of this night I sing your name
melodic whispers upon a moonbeam
slowly peering through a saddened haze…parting
illuminating the silhouette of your beauty

Then we shall dance upon stardust
our arms and hearts entwined
no more by darkness captured,
your loving hand in mine

Now as we touch I find this light is not of me,
not of moon glow shimmering on the mist,
nor stars twinkling on a velvet night, it glows of your smile
which I have so longed to see…once again