Thought I'd have a cuppa
to assuage my carnal thirst
I didn't know what I should drink
who I should have first

I thought of my friend Jack
Daniels to his friends
Life of the drunken party...
But it's only 9am

Then I thought of Harvey
who'd come in from the coast
But i really do not like him
'coz he's a milquetoast

Ah! I know who's perfect!
Tho I could be wrong
But he's tall, dark n handsome!
So very hot and strong!

He's uplifting! RICH!
He makes my heartstrings tug
He is bold yet mellow...
... and that good lookin' MUG!

Yes. I think I'll try him
he's got get up and go
He's the deep and "brew"ding type

he's my cuppa joe!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 1/23/2016

Here comes the bride
Proud down the aisle;
If she knew what I know
She wouldn't smile.

Here comes the groom
Such a handsome gent;
But I know his secret
He's warped and he's bent.

(Refrain)
Fountains of beauty
Such a handsome pair;
I hope someone told them
To wash their ***** hair.

There stand the couple -
See them plight their troth
Shall I tell you something?
I've had them both.

There stands the priest,
Dressed like a swell;
He's nothing special:
I've ****** him as well.

(Refrain)
May blessings from Heaven
Downwards descend;
But don't let the best man
Catch you if you bend.

**(Final Chorus)
Here comes the bride
Legs open wide
She's no vestal ******
As I think I have implied.

!
!

Whomever asks, receives
Whoever knows, believes

They that include, bind
Those who seek, find

Thee that sow, reap
Ye, that don’t pay...... are cheap
WIZDUMBs BY JA 411

Hawking's told me
My universe is contracting;
Then he changed his mind,
It's now expanding.
Sounds like a new wave diet.

T’was the night before Christmas
And in his outhouse
Sat Ja quietly listening        
To waltz’s, by Strauss.
(Really, he was leafing thru Penthouse)

The ******* was fitted
With all manner of lights
That couldn’t be missed
No matter what heights

When up on the roof
There arose such a clatter
Ja, kicked open the door
To see what was the matter

So there sat Ja
With his pants pulled down
His *** in a hole
On his forehead, a frown

He leaped up so quickly
Through the doorway to pass
Tripped over his pants
And fell on his ***

Then flat on his back
His bare *** in the snow
He looked up to see
The roof all aglow

Poor Santa had landed                        
On that, small, sloped roof
But there wasn’t enough room
For sleigh, and each tiny hoof

Ja had decorated everything
So the outhouse, shone bright
And Santa mistook it
When he arrived that night

The reindeer slid off
Were hanging by their straps
And Santa had saved them
By grabbing, the roof *****

Poor Rudolph fell the farthest
Boy, was his nose beaming
Just then, losing his grip
Santa started screaming

Fly Dancer, fly *****
Fly Donner, fly Blitzen
Don’t let me fall into
This ****, Ja was fixin

Then just like magic
They started to float
And Santa, raising his fist
Did this warning shout
              
Be very careful old man
I’ll get you some day
Stay alert Christmas Eve
Don’t get in my way

Now, each Christmas Eve
Ja, won’t step foot out that door
Cause he knows Santa is waiting
To even the score
BOEMS BY JA 18

~
Rigel

Art thou
Thy soul
Of souls
Reaching
O to thee?

Or that
Celestial
Tide thus
Brimming
So, most
Delightful
Beams o'er
Me?
~

Sirius

O, Yes!
My Bride-to-be,
Spinning fiercely
Like a dervish in
This galaxy!
~

Rigel

My flames! My core!
Held together by my
Own attractiveness, I
Assure, I need not thee
Tis myself I do adore!
Fantastic mysteries
I keep thus pure!

Woo me to Love?
You seem assured
Of your Self as well!
But you must make
Haste to hence take
This, my body, O!
Heretofore to meld.
~

Sirius

My lust forsaken
Broken, taken!

See how hot
These fires
Thus burn,
All my Love
To you I turn!
~

Rigel

Be gone!
Be gone!
My Love
Must be earned.
~

Sirius

O what woe!
Woebegone
And melancholy!
Ease my malady,
Be my Lady!
~

Rigel

Perhaps one day
I shall, but as of
Now, I turn
Thee away.
~

Sirius

I shall do
My utmost
To burn
So close
Today
Tomorrow
So perhaps
Someday
It will be so.
~

Rigel silently

*Sigh, you
Persistent thing;
I wish to cradle
You, soon too.

This I resolute
Salads can't create ****.
More bounce to the ounce.

Sometimes I think
And wonder why
Birds must ****
When they fly

Why autumn leaves
Those colors make
But then fall off
So we must rake

Why is water
Always level
And why did God
Create the devil

Why do dogs
Lick their *****
Then lick their master
When he calls

Why do boys
Wear pants so low
That their **** cheeks
Have to show

Why do we
Need to grow up
Why use a glass
And not a cup

Why girls when happy
Sometimes cry
And fish live wet
But never dry

Why do hockey players
Always spit
And why’s a pimple
Called a zit

Why contented cats
Always purr
And then throw up
That ball of fur

Why feed the grass
To make it grow
And when it does
We have to mow

Why does ****
Stick in your hair
And why do will knots
Form down there

Why dogs we own
Our life will guard
But then they ****
In our yard

Sometimes I just
Sit and think
Why do farts
Have to stink

How do cows
Make milk from grass
And why do hemorrhoids
Pop out your ***

Why do humans
Together throng
But then they can’t
Get along

Why do chickens
Never ****
And why do Boems
Rhyme like this

Why tell us all
We are brothers
When we are born
With different colors

Why bird **** falling
From the sky
Never hits
The other guy

Why flowers bloom
If we take care
But weeds just grow
Everywhere

Why leaves fall off
But not the bark
Did insects come
From Noah’s arc

Do all predictions
Come to pass
Do chicken eggs
Come out their ***

Why do snots  
Grow in your nose
And why do I
These questions pose                
BOEMS BY JA 87                      12-10-2012

Person for sale

Able to:

Breathe quietly
Talk when needed
Wear acceptable clothes on work days
Use transport facilities in a timely fashion

Willing to:

Spend time with people
They don’t like
Set aside any feelings of
Boredom
Restlessness
Apathy
Disinterest
Disillusionment
Malais­e
Fatigue
Stress

And feign:

Interest
Enthusiasm
Concern
Delight
Contentment
Joie de vivre
Passion
Commitment

Willing to:

Sit stoically
In front of a square screen
Sending typed messages back and forth
Quietly count the days, months and years
As they tick by
Cover unsightly grey hairs
With unnatural dyes (at personal expense)
Spend hours in the same rooms with the same people
Use communal toilet facilities
Sit on trains
Day after day
Use caffeine and sugar
As the acceptable drug of choice

Prepared to scream out in silence
When it all gets too much

Person
For
Sale