I'm the only person I know
who can destroy everyone
I come into contact with

So don't love me!

With my best intentions
I manage to bring pain
to my friends and come
between them

Don't love me!

With tears of pain
and of sorrow I beg you

Don't love me!

I am unlovable

Don't love me!

If I closed my eyes,
drifted into a soft sleep,
would you protect me?

If I faded away into nothingness,
or foolishly left you behind
would you rapidly follow?

If it was just you and me,
just the two of us
would you be lonely?

If I carefully caressed you,
desperately needed you,
would you just take me?

If you had to leave,
disappear and never return
I beg of you to visit my dreams.

Please read to me your poetry

Your every syllable
a whisper to my ears

your every word
a soft caress against my cheek

your every sentence
a long warm embrace

your every paragraph
a love song to my heart

your every poem
a balm to my soul

Please read to me
your sultry poetry

making love to me
again and again....

~

“And when your fears subside and shadows still remain”


Dark places floating in rear view mirror journeys
on empty highways, slick and cold but in the past
Within my hand I hold you, warmth finds the place,
leaving behind the sorrow on leaf covered shoulders

“I know that you can love me when there's no one left to blame”

Taken upon my soul, those incisions of pain, deep
Draped on heavy sighs and forward motions
Cast aside, tossed for loss, rendered useless
and my heart sings for you, come to me for I shall love you

“So never mind the darkness we still can find a way”


Shrouded in worry, clouded escapes stood firmly
Together we can draw back these curtains, embroidered blankets,
revealing the next hillside spilling a sunrise
in bright smiles and good memories rejoicing

*“'Cause nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain”

She sits draped in dreams
her dress made of scars
time drips, molasses slow
her torturous tormentor

She waits 
shackled to the memory of your touch
as she traces the curve of your smile
behind faded eyes.
Dust settles.

Your shadow will never arrive at her door
never again will her lips brush yours
of this she is certain
Yet wait she must....just in case.

I built it
Brick by brick
Slathering mortar
Rebar pierced
Lines off center
Foundation firm
Concrete faults
Cemented sadness
Tall as it is wide

I built it
Contracted of stupidity
Designed in self-absorption
Blue prints of folded sorrow
Erected by a fool
No cranes needed
Drawn in teardrops
Fallen from your eyes
Collected puddles of my deceit

I built it…this wall
That keeps you from me

~


Black on white
Scores in three quarter sorrow
Sharps and flats beneath heartbeats
Dust and cobweb mosaics
glistening in the key of pain

Scaled deposits wait
lonely in the corner
Replaying adagio chords of lost love,
composed in major and minor
on yellowed decaying paper

Tuning key locked away,
Forte expressions shackled
in sustain pedal nightmares
of faux concertos worn
in overture’d blistered edges
as empty fingers play on

Blood trickles on ivory,
cascading in mirrored visions
as I realize this candelabra’d composition
was written by me…in my hand, my notes
all the while knowing, the empty chorus performed
is the hurt I have staged upon your heart

Silence finds me sitting
on a wobbly bench, uninspired
attempting balance with a still metronome
living in the shadows of what I have become
decomposing your smile, ashamed at the lyrics,
cursing the music for it is the song
of your sadness that I should never have played

Sometimes I Wish
I Could Just Disappear

*~Marian~

You came into my life
When all was lost
There was no moon,
the stars had died
and all around was darkness.

I had lost my heart, my soul
and in the black, lost my way
I couldn't see the road before me
I couldn't go, I couldn't stay


Then out of nowhere right before me
stood an Angel all aglow
Lighting the scary darkened path
and showing me the way to go

The stars came back, Heaven was lit
Behind me the moon began to rise
The path grew brighter and I could see
The Angel had opened my closed eyes

I don't know when that Angel left me
for she left as quickly as she came
but she led me from that forsaken path
and I knew my life would never be the same!