Your presence is tangible
Across the vast expanse
Yet, I hear not your voice
I feel not your longing
Mine, is the only heart I hear
Alone, for the first time in eternity
Alone, wrapped in your essence
Just a whisper of warmth
A choice all your own
To be alone
A choice that you have forgotten
Includes me
For we flow throughout each other
Still, here we are
I feel you trying not to feel me
And I close my eyes
Praying death over a life that begins here
And ends without you
'tis not a choice could I make
'tis not a life...alone

You don't know what it's like
To be violated
To be held against your will
And felt up
And leave bruises
By someone you trusted
By someone you thought cared about you

You don't know what it's like to be used just for your body
By someone you thought cared for more than just nudes
By someone who told you were cute and pretty

You don't know what it's like to tell the person who violated you
What they did to you
And how it made you feel

You don't know what it's like to receive a fake apology
One only to get you to shut up
But as you're telling him your point of view
And as he's pretending to apologize
You could just feel all the "I don't cares" and "will you shut up nows"

You don't know what its like to attempt to leave an uncomfortable situation
Only to be pulled back by the handle on your backpack
Unaware of what is going on
You thought you were leaving

You don't know what it's like to be held up against the body
Of a strong, tall male
Unable to push him away
Unable to squirm out of the situation

You don't know what it's like to be barely able to breathe
Because your face is pressed right up against his side

But of course you knew he was strong
He played hockey and baseball
But you didn't know he was that strong

You don't know what it's like to be violated by someone you thought you could trust, or thought they could protect you.

Let's not mention how you don't know what it's like
To be sitting in class, sharing your homework with another boy
Only to feel his hand on your leg

You don't know what it's like to sit in a room full of students
And have no one notice what is happening
And you've shot a look that says don't do it
Yet he takes that as a look to continue to go up further
Because he thought it would increase tension
But really he made your self-worth decrease

You don't know what it's like to have an unwanted hand go up your skirt
And you thought it was okay to wear a skirt that day
Just like you wore one every other day
Because the Kilt was part of your school uniform
But of course that made your visible legs vulnerable
And it's a good thing that someone else call for his attention
Because you wanted anything but his

And you don't know what it's like to make a scene
Or to tell someone
Because you're not sure if you parents will be more upset
About you talking to boys or that your got yourself into those situations

You don't know what it's like to stay silent
Because you don't want to make matters worse

But it's my body, why would someone think they have access to it?

Because you don't know what it's like to be sexually assaulted

Don't make your sleeves long
If your hands are short!

I’m not as loved as you think I am
I am just someone who thinks of love
share it at times but
I never got to have it.

so much drama
so much negativity
sadness everywhere
and I stand optimistic

Democracy means the rout of despotism!
In the twenty first century it is loosing its roots!

Arriving in a lonely dark room
In which my misery loom
Unpacking a suitcase of doubt
No windows nor any way out
I take off the coat that protects me
It was made of your laughter and glee
Now I settle atop of this bed
Supported by things that I dread
I took the path that lead me here
For love and joy was all that I fear
I will forever live in a room full of sad
When I ran away from the good that I had

Ah...
So busy doing something  
Never ends
   No breaks seems
    & u still creep in my mind
     SO this way I don't
    Over  react  
         Relaxed
Always better days
     To come

You’re asleep two inches to my left.
Two of the longest inches
I’ve ever measured with these eyes—
eyes that will not close or rest or fixate
on anything but those
inches that
never used to exist.

And when I finally do
look around the room,
suddenly all of the artwork on the walls
doesn’t seem like mine anymore
and my skin feels foreign—
so foreign.

It’s like I have all of the parts
to keep myself working,
but my instructions are all in Swedish,
and even these detailed diagrams can’t
get me there again.
Figure A looks nothing like it used to
and all of the screws are stripped,
useless, dooming any effort
to keep things together.

I want out of this room—
and what I feel writhing in my ribcage
is no longer something that’s keeping me alive
but this slimy Chest Burster
of conflicted alien emotion
that’s promising to break through my breast
at any moment
if I don’t close my eyes.

Guts…
guts everywhere…
and it won’t be pretty.

But I can’t settle my mind, and
I don’t want to wonder
what you could possibly be dreaming
like I did those thousand times before,
as my cracks continued
to silently branch off in new directions.

So I let him.
I keep my eyes open and I let him
burst through the surface.
The last thing I see is my own matter
flung onto that artwork on my walls,
and my last two hopes are
that my parents know
how much I love them
and that this hungry alien baby
bites off the only thing
you have going for you
with his
otherworldly
sharp set
of teeth.