I don't remember the last time of real heartbreak.
I remember losing loyalty, losing interest.
Things don't always work, or resentment's mistake.
But I can't remember when I ever felt shattered
From the mere idea of living without someone.
Like my entire being tattered, pieces in the wind scattered.
Like some whole void of emptiness;
Everything gouged out of me like it never even mattered.
I remember being abandoned.
I remember being alone.
But I can't remember feeling like my life left too,
Like it was never even my own.
I guess I wanted it to be ours instead.
I guess I wanted too much.
I guess there was no "destiny's red thread."
I wish I didn't still yearn for your touch.
I don't know what to do with a life without you.
I was told I had so much ahead,
But from where I am, I can hardly move.
How long would it take to forget?
Is that even something on which I can bet?
I don't think I've ever felt real love for someone
So selflessly, so hopefully,
Like I did this less year.
How long will it take to live a life without you
When I'm surrounded by distraught and fear?
You were the water to my flowers,
You were the northern star in my nights,
You were the fire in my engine.
But now it's dark and you're nowhere in sight.
What is a life worth if not for love?
In which direction do I go?
This fever wears me, my mourning dove.
But I will make it through the night,
If only to anticipate
A notification's gentle light.

stone feet with grey hearts,
the army of the lonely
find so little solace
in the turnaround
they were meant to conquer

As I wake in my sheets,
Aggravated anxiety.
Blue light peeks, reminding me of my impropriety
Of the night before.
Like the melted ice throne in the last layer of fire,
My thoughts agonize.
I became the prosecutor when I was the prosecuted liar.
These ordinary overcast mornings
Are my favorite to step in to.
The city smells ripe,
And I think of it with you.
But I will go to trace my patterns
Worn into my body.
Another weekday in which I tread.
Reading messages unread,
Apprehending what’s next.
Life doesn’t need explanation,
Only bread.
But I will stop to worry those worries
Worn into my body
And only hope there may come a palm to press into my spine
With a touch so fine to entwine
A belonging, a needing, into my mind.

Sitting here alone, still feeling empty
An event occurs and a friend has left me
We parted with words that hurt my friend
He left with tears in his eyes and wounds to tend

Now I am far away and secluded
A friends trust has been polluted
With a wipe of the eye a bond is deceased
And with death came friends release

Now sitting around people I could care not for
It seems my life has taken a detour
He sent me away because he said he must
And as I did with me came my trust

He took our friendship which was just a seed
And beat it red, making it bleed
I sat head hung and I cried
He walked away, as I was swept away like the tide.

"Somebody loves you." Brutally honest and achingly heartfelt, although her words reeked with cliché.

He sighed through a smile, shrugging off any sign of pain. But because it was her he was facing, he failed.

"I doubt it."

"I don't."

Blind as he was, their eyes met anyhow so he could overlook the love, and languish, in her gaze. A hundredth time over.

"Well, see you later."

But she knew he never really would.

People are dark and so am I.
I try to fight the darkness with light.
But it’s hard because people are dark.
It seems pointless to fight the darkness all day when I know I will only be engulfed by it at night.
But still, I cling to the little shards of light I do find.
I cling for dear life.

Don’t stare,
but
don’t look away

as if we don’t exist or
will disappear.

Don’t judge.
“So glad that’s not me”

It could be.

Don’t assume
“drugs”…”lazy”
“offer a dollar
it’ll go for *****”

You don’t know

Don’t presume to grasp
the reasons,
the whys the wherefores
don’t write us off
as useless,
worthless,

less…

If you can’t help,
don’t want to help,
are afraid to help,
don’t trust,

then

Just offer a smile,
A good wish or prayer

But acknowledge we exist,
we, too, are human.
We breathe, we feel,
We need…
trust and love,

Not disdain,
not even pity
if that is all you have
to give…

don’t…

And so I leave this place of old,
Nothing makes me stay no memory i can hold.

No bars to hold me in a lonely shack,
No reason to hesitate and ever look back.

No hand to hold to sway the makings of my mind,
No love to return, only emptiness i can find.

But i leave with one last glance looking at the sun,
Thinking of all the moments i had fun.

I listen to one last song to ease my sorrow,
I listen hard and think of things that might come to follow.

And so i greet the doors of my departure,
Onward to the halls of an uncertain future.