Your good mood
is making me insane
why can't I feel like that
Your smile hits me
and I'm already falling down
You give me reasons to stay
and I want to let go
I'm still so misunderstood
I don't know me
and you won't either
sometimes I wish you'd leave the room
so I can break myself without shame
sometimes I want to hit all the mirrors
so you can throw all the pieces in my face
you're making me sad
I already hate myself
why do you give me everything
leave me alone
I'm spiraling down
don't come looking for me
someone save me
don't call for me
someone look for me

how I put up with my mess
how I put up a smile to tame away the sadness
how I talk like I wasn't forming final plans in my head
how I don't know where to go
how I don't know if I should let us go

maybe you should sleep further away
maybe I should wake up before you
maybe I could move away

the more
I stay
the more I disappear

I can't find my head
I can't find my head
my mind is nowhere close
please
wish me well

Believe  me  when I
say "I  always  think  
of  you."  No  matter
how  busy  I am.  No
matter  what  I   am
doing. My  brain   is  
constantly  thinking  
of   you.

Arms  I  want  to  be
wrapped  in,  eyes  I
want  to  be  lost   in.

Perhaps  I am  being
too hopeful to think
that  you  and  I   are
taking  a detour  while  
finding    our   way
back  to  each   other.

I  am  still  convinced
the   rest  of   my   life
looks  like  you  and I
just want to taste your
lips  before  my  coffee
every morning.

I want  to see a whole
world  of   different
sunsets  with  you.                                        Jon York   2019

You  walked
       into my life again
                   and
       this time it was like
                you had
        always  lived  there,
          like my heart was
             a home built
              just  for you.

        I didn't fall for you.
              It wasn't a
            falling feeling.
          It was more of a
          wandering into
         a quiet room and
      knowing  I  was  home.

           I am not going
                anywhere.
             The  only  time
               I'll let go of
             your  hand  is
          to  grab  your  ***.

           And  I  need  you
            not  in ,the  ways
             to survive, but
          in  the  ways  that
            make life worth
                    living.
                                                                   Jon York    2019

Am I the parasite?
The leech that latches for days and drains,
The mosquito that ***** and savours the blood,
Do I cling too tight and push you away?
Am I weight that sinks you, deep in the mud?
The weather balloon tether pinned down to the ground,
Superglue poured on the perch of a birdcage,
Am I tear in your plane wing, thirty feet off the runway?
A lead lining to your new kite, recieved on your birthday.

But a bird that doesn't fly can never drop from the sky,
Runway flight failures don't cause a stall and a fall,
A balloon can't be popped by air pressure down here,
And lightning won't strike a kite with no height to it at all.

So maybe I'm the safety net,
A prison tower, but the stablest,
The delicate balance of freedom and danger,
Is something I'm not aquainted with.

Every girl wants a bad boy
that will be good just for her
and every boy wants a good
girl that will be bad just for
him.

Morning    whispers,    legs
entwined, the tickle of your
skin in  the  soft  light  that
traces  softly through these
sheets  as  I  touch   you  in
places   you   never   knew
existed, and I've never been
happier
in this place,
      with you,
      with me,
       with us.

I want  to  be  the  only  hand
you ever need to hold and I'm
ready  to  do  anything  to  be
                      your  everything.
                                                                                 Jon York   2018

something has changed
since yesterday
from polar opposites
to something in the middle
something gray
something scary
something strange
something stimulating
something inflamed
where i ache
to pull you closer
but my gut tells me
to run away
where your touch
burns me up
but still leaves me
drained
where i want to
tell the truth
but there is nothing
to say
cause nothing has
really changed
but it is definitely
not the same
one second
you'll hurt me
and cause all of
this pain
then you'll
draw me in
and i fumble
in your embrace
my heart, my thoughts
my mind, my brain
since yesterday
something has changed