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<o[[[><

when you feel like
you're drowning


learn to be a fish!.

[10W]

This is no tribute
Always turning tragedy into poetry, I have no pride in that
This tragedy I borrow to write, and yet I do not
Weep for the one lost
My heart does not shudder and ache
Sensibly, we all nod our heads in time with the words
"I'm sorry for your loss"

A college boy, a childhood friend's brother-
I met him once, a birthday party I don't remember-
He killed himself the day before school let out

And we all nod our heads along to the sighing of
"So sad. He didn't even seem that badly off."
But inside, I whisper to him
That I understand

Tell me, I want to ask, how you give up,
How you stop caring that your mother will cradle you, dead in her arms and cry?

I envy, I respect
You, your decision
Yet I know not how to follow
For where you've gone is a world with wings
And every time I try to paint myself a pair,
I end up with tired feet

I will walk for you.
I will live like your alternate in another world
Where you never get around to making that choice
And all the potentials you turned away from
Still swirl around you in their ceaseless, suffocating dance
You found the end, didn't you?

If the living are bound to mourn the dead,
Then I must not be truly alive
For though my heart hurts,
I do not cry for you, safe as you are inside darkness and infinity
No
I mourn the living instead
They are the tragic heroes, the fatally flawed
You figured that out, didn't you?

This is no tribute
I have turned your curtain call into a monologue
But I have no way beyond this to reach you anymore

*We will pick up the pieces.
Don't worry about us here.
We understand.
Be free.

I want to feel like I've melted.
Not in the way that boils your bones or dissolves your tendons or that makes you ***** up your own organs as your skin bubbles, slowly disappearing while fat seeps upwards until what once looked like a body now looks like stiff, rigid crime scene photos,
No--Not in that way.

Imagine you are floating in a stream, the currents of the  crisp cold water running gently over your body and your fingertips brushing through the  overgrown grass. You continue floating, close your eyes and time slips away. The currents  continue washing over your body, making you finally feel clean again. Finally.

You open your eyes to find yourself still floating only now when you spread your fingers, they do not brush through the grass, they just cause ripples through the water, because now you are floating in vast amount of water and even if your fingertips could somehow reach miles away they would still are completely surrounded by water.

I knew you could make melt, but i hoped you wouldn't melt me the way you did.

I tell you the words you want to hear,
I think things that no one else should have
to think

Today I feel great
Today is another day I just don't want to do this
anymore

I'm living my life the way I want
I've made too many mistakes to ever get the
life that I want

She loves me
No one could love me
I'm just too broken

I'm doing better
Than I ever have
I don't see the difference,
I don't see myself

I matter
*To no one