Feelings tend to be hard,
From them,
We long to break apart.

But if you're going through hardship,
Baby, know that you're loved,
You're stronger than what you oppose.

She asked me
If I had ever been
In love

Then I
Realized that I
Had never not been
In love

I realized
I  wanted
Nothing  
Other than love

I think there is
Only one
Off-ramp
From the journey
Of love

That off-ramp
Is judgment

A critical heart
Combined with
A critical eye
Fills one with
The opposite
Of love—judgment

Judgment colors
The mind with
Negativity

Until the sin of
Judgment
Is displaced
By a lust
For love,
One will not find peace

When love invades
One’s heart
The body finds peace

When love is abundant
And bountiful
There is no fear
Of wasting love
Nor spilling love
For love can grow
Anywhere

So am I
In love?

Yes, I am
In love
Excessively
Wastefully and Willingly

It's torrents and whirlwind
In this mind field
That I lay bare with my soul churn
Agony written in my heart
Pain cuts deep to my bone
Aches to name the weight that bends my will

How I wish could quiet a thousand voices
Each one brut but none my own
Lost in a maze,  silence ensued
A whisper feels too loud
Caged in my own battleground
Couldn't find the words to roar
It clings, persistent like the flow of a river cutting through the earth's veins

Eyes wide but drowning,a tide made of thoughts
Silence becomes a scream
If only peace could drip through these cracked dry seams
And hold the ache until it's still
For now I'll let the chaos gnaw
These fragments of a soul in fight
Waiting for  the right words to flow
To piece me whole and soothe the ache

It's torrents and whirlwind
In this mind field
That I lay bare with my soul churn
Agony written in my heart
Pain cuts deep to my bone
Aches to name the weight that bends my will

I met God in the quiet corners of my room
I met him in my most sad and low energy moments
I met him when I am alone and lonely
I met him when I am depressed
I met him through his still voice
He is within me, so I will not fail.

I realized that I can do the impossible things
Because God made the impossible things possible
So put your faith and worry in him, Do your best because God will do the rest.

God is the author of my success. The author of my triumph and victory. My alpha and omega.

AYNA DENISSE MESTIO MONCENILLA, LPT
Batch May 23, 2025

Do you know it hurts to leave me here?
Bleeding, scarred, begging for someone to see,
And you won't shed a single tear—
Even though we've been through so much—for me.

Didn't you know?

Do you know it kills me when you walk away?
Your back is turned, footsteps left, and I still stand,
But you keep leaving me there, day after day,
So I fall and fall, but you won't ever see me land.

Didn't you know?

Do you know how I die when you lie?
Hair over your eyes that are glued to your feet,
Nervous like I won't see through the things you hide,
I know I'm too much, but you took the heat.

Didn't you know?

Do you know that I cry because I don't know?
I don't know why you aren't here anymore, by my side,
I'm so lost in this sea, in the music, in this twisted show,
And you're too callous to see my goodbye.

Didn't you know
It's my time to go?

I feel sick, so sick of myself.
I don't exist: calloused layers of shell.
This world is sick. War is more real than Hell.
Does good love exist? Is it more real than Death?
What will you love when nothing is left?
The soil is poisoned. Seeds freed from cycles.
Purge odious life.
Tears salt the Earth from true peace disciples.
No pain. No struggle. No strife.
Behind the mask there is nothing.
Behind my eyes there is nothing.
Before my eyes there is nothing.
Embracing void. Immortality.
Cannot be destroyed. Empty.
Embrace the truth.
Tranquility.
I quit. I quit pretending.
Pretending I am not everything. At last,
I find annihilation
in you.

I fell for him like twilight falls to night
But dawn demanded I let go too soon
He held my soul beneath the softest light
Now silence hums a hollow, distant tune

He left, and still the air feels sharp and thin
Like breathing shards of glass with every sigh
A day has passed, it tears me from within
The kind of ache that doesn’t let you cry

He was the bloom before my brutal frost
A warmth I cupped with hands too full of fear
I broke my heart to prove I’d bear the cost
What’s right still rips, and love won’t disappear

My throat is wrapped in wires, cold and tight
A fence of grief that shocks with every breath
My pillow swells with storms I lose each night
Each sob a small rehearsal for my death

I knew he’d be the wound I’d never close
The ghost I’d chase in every midnight prayer
He was the poem my silence only knows
The empty in the room when no one’s there

He said “It’s over”, and the stars turned pale
The sky collapsed in bruises none could feel
Purple kissed blue, and sorrow spilled to teal
A palette mixed in love we couldn’t scale

I bowed to grief, a creature made of glass
Who shattered in the light he left behind
I hid the truth, we’d never truly last
But begged the clock to keep us more entwined

I’ll search for you in others, soft and slow
In crooked smiles and eyes I wish were yours
But every face becomes a deeper blow
Another door that leads to empty floors

If one more hour meant breaking all again
I’d bleed through time to taste him in the pain
To burn in him, to drown in what has been
I’d choose the fall and never curse the rain

I would whisper it once more

And I would whisper it all once more
You were the one who slipped away
I’m losing sleep, forgetting how to eat
Like I don’t know how to move my feet

The songs I used to play to feel okay
Now echo with the shadow of your name
You turned my favorite melodies to gray
And healing hurts when music feels like blame

You are the best thing that happened to me
But love, it seems, was never meant to be
So I broke my heart because you were kind
I broke my heart because it’s what’s right

Now it will take me years to find your face
In fleeting glances, strangers passing by
I’ll search for you in every time and place
And ache when all I see is not your eyes

Yet even so, I’d do it all again
For one more moment through all the pain
If time with you meant heartbreak anew
I’d choose every scar
Just to stay with you

The kind of ache that crying seems like fun
The kind of ache that cry’s had tears of its own
A mental breakdown for every 10min that move along  
But we’ll bleed in silence into the night for the words that said:

“The kind of ache that doesn’t let you cry”
Cause purple blue skies are only found in your eyes
A purple blue sky is teal in our eyes

By: Zoulaikha

It isn’t easy to walk, gravity weighs.
The biosuits lock the mind
in a narrow space.

An interpretive blow is crucial:
Does being on the other side of the mirror
truly want it, or only think it does?

A thumb drives into the right temple.
The heart pumps hectoliters of warm liquid.
Colours, sounds, tensions in the eternal swirl.

Delay in processing—eighty milliseconds
it isn’t a flaw.
It takes that long for all the cogs to turn.

Everything I do now is already in the past.
Decisions made long ago spit me out
into this reality with some name.

I am the last, but not least,
in the collective dream and blink of time.

Minds sway like golden grain, ready to be cut.
I can stand up or lie on the ground.

I walk—
toward the next stumble,
the next wound, and maybe healing.

Insights glow like yellow lanterns,
giving me some light.

No justification, no understanding.
My self-awareness is not a cozy couch.

One day,
I will stop existing, and I accept that.
I’m just afraid to leave those who still love me.

Every day, I open my reality:
I wake up.
I feel.
I choose.
I decide—
knowing so many others
are crying behind the scenes,
and their trembling is raw.

Pain isn’t consolation—
it reinforces the structure of fragility
when the towers are crumbling.

At the core, we return,
squeezing black-and-white struggles
into our veins, into our memories.

To the only home
we never left
our own body.
The first and the last.