The last thing an angel feels is falling.
What about a human?
What could the feeling be like? Fall?
I look around and see so few alive,
the rest fallen into their shadows,
sinking in lies.
Not clipped wings but
the spark of their eyes long gone,
just a hollow look a blackness spreading
into this forsaken world.
The few become even less yet they bright
like a beacon of whatever remains true.
Skies falling, war is crying out.
The few suffer and the fallen hide behind
a pile of lies, just a bunch of excuses.
I awake from my frozen sleep and model through,
this war becomes my muse.
All will burn in light, i am here where are they?

Age is a sound.

Wind in the trees,
leaves green,
leaves dry.

Our voices sink into us over time.
Brilliant children, open where the light shines out.
From our eyes
to heart pattern,
until even our bones speak.
Eventually, talking to river-bed stones,
and finally only listening.

Being forced into my mind
And into my body
And into my heart
Is an excruciating prison for someone
Who grew up living
As an escape artist.

I used everything I had control over
At the time and the only thing
I had was my mind.

So every morning until the night
I'd let my mind and soul
Take flight
To cope with the monsters
I had to fight.

Dreaming in my wake
And in my sleep
Hoping that, by morning,
I wake
Somewhere safe.

You ruined my life.
My every waking day
Shattered by yelling
And the constant verbal abuse.

Nothing satisfied you.

Now nothing satisfies me.

I've run in every direction.
My daydreams tried to take me
But you wouldn't set me free,
You couldn't just be kind
And happy.

So I turned to alcohol until
It burned my insides that I realized
That it isn't fun anymore.
It's just poison and I'm useless,
Mindless on the floor.

So I chose to smoke some ****
Hoping it'd get rid of the
****** memories.
And it did..
For a while.
And now it's not the same
Because all it brings is numbness
No longer a smile and heightens the pain.

Now I'm stuck here.
Aware.
In my body and in my mind
And weirdly enough
The real world feels more fake
Than my dreams ever did.

Forever ******* miserable
Because I have a damaged inner kid.

I read that if you want something with all your heart then the universe conspires to make it happen...

But what if I want for nothing
Other than to know
God?

Will the universe conspire to bring about my untimely end?

How will the stars and planets align?
To light my path,
To lead me back to You?

Way finding through the constellations.

What if the only thing I desire
Is to know my purpose?

What if the only thing I want
Is to go Home?

Will you help me then... Universe?