You'll be sitting on a step
Some party raging behind you
And you'll be contemplating walking home,
Or finding that girl from earlier
The one who tangled her fingers in your hair while you kissed,
When it'll happen.
A girl, maybe 18,
Will plop down beside you,
Purposefully skin to skin,
and she'll smile.

She'll pretend she's more drunk than she is
And you'll want to protect her.
Like always.
People will be looking for you,
The life of every party now,
Inside the house
But you won't care.
This girl will tell you she's got to walk home,
And you'll take her hand,
And tell her to lead the way.
She'll lean over and kiss you,
Just like she planned she would,
Just long enough to give you the right idea.

You'll stand up together
Wobbling just a little
And she'll start walking
And you'll keep pace and a lookout.
She'll glance at you,
Hunger in her eyes
Waiting to feed off the attention you wrap yourself in,
Like an otter in seaweed.

You'll become very aware of the condoms in your pocket
You might think about how you need to buy another box
As she's the fifth girl this month to take you home

Hungry for the fame
Hungry for the attention
Hungry for the talent
But not hungry for the you inside.
And you'll know it,
I hope.

Stay safe out there, love.
I'll remember.

Quiet friend who has come so far,

feel how your breathing makes more space around you.

Let this darkness be a bell tower

and you the bell. As you ring,

what batters you becomes your strength.

Move back and forth into the change.

What is it like, such intensity of pain?

If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

In this uncontainable night,

be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,

the meaning discovered there.

And if the world has ceased to hear you,

say to the silent earth: I flow.

To the rushing water, speak: I am.

Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29

She is such a sweet pale hell
That makes me touch myself
Pleasure dangerously close to torture
Eyes lit with the softest furies
Lips that melt the ice of my soul
Whips that chain my pain to hers
I cry out “all my verses are for you.”
But she whispers “I am not yours.”

Am I crazy?
I see people, who aren't really there.
They talk to me, whispering things in my ear.

Shhh,
Don't tell anyone.
They'll lock you back up,
No discretion, but you just have bad luck.

They tell me I'm psychotic,
And dose me up on meds,
To make me feel "sane" again,
Their lies I will be fed.

But I've been there before, I've seen the road and I've been through the doors,
Seconds feel like years when you're in an asylum,
Your heart they will pour.

Don't call me schizophrenic,
Because I swear that I'm not,
I know the people that I see,
Were  once alive like me.

A vision of black,
Heads bowed,
Women weep as he's lowered into the ground.
His mother cried,
So did I,
People couldn't help but sigh.

The rain flowed beneath our feet,
Into the ground where he would retreat,
A place as hollow as hell,
Where he would never  fit in well.

I feel responsible for his death,
to his parents I apologise,
I wish to join him;
Every single day,
In the ground,
Where he lay.

Dearly Beloved,

I will never know the reason why I wrote this letter to you.
Perhaps, an obsession? infatuation? out of spite? out of loneliness? or Love?
Some questions are best left to be unanswered.

With a humbling regret, once more, i have to knocked upon your door and disturb your solitude with these words and Truly, i am sorry. Yet, i have to tell you about everything.

You have become a reign deep within my heart and conquers it. From my inner works of reality to my fantasy. From my waking hours into deep within slumber, only you whom remains.

The thought of you is a forever in my present. Some days, it is faint and small, yet, it illuminates this mind of mine and fills with an ecstasy could never comprehends. Some nights, it is unbearable, echoes of your fleeting words howls through the void in which you have left me in- haunting me towards the endless nights.

From the moment that we met, Dearly Beloved, in a -glance, you put my mind into a trance and within that moment i am reduced to a thing that only wants you in my life.

In those days, i had grow sick and weary and know nothing upon being touched by Love. I’ve put it all inside my lips, and how long have this tongue tried to let you know. I failed and upon being a coward, i fade and recluse myself into the midst of isolation. And so it goes. In despair, this heart still beats to you and forever it aches towards the longing of you.

Dearly Beloved, as days turns in to weeks and as weeks turns into months and as months turns into years, deep i was in denial of loving you. And so it goes.

Revelation came of what have i become, A Fool.
Yet, i was too late, you are there and i’m still right here. And so it goes, the distance grew. Here, in my silence, i was drenched in my own tears,

Yet, from this suffering stems an understanding which Reason and Love keeps little company in this realm. And if the cold, cruel reality offered me to choose between the two, Dearly Beloved, i will always choose the path which leads to you, every time.

Now, feast your eyes upon the fool who can writes.
Every ink writes the words, the sentences and the stories in which in every language - solemnly belong to you and this fool will write until the day come in which you consider me worthy to be envelop in Such Beauty. For i have been struck with the cure known as Love and if you ask the reason why. There is no why and The Fool have no answer to tell.

It is simply is
It simply Love,
It is simply human.

When life comes to seem like
A superhuman feat

When you're in the quicksand
With lead shoes on your feet

When you're supposed to serve 10 people
And you have nothing to eat

There's nothing to be done
God does not text or tweet

You look upwards toward heaven
And the question's on repeat


(Chorus)
"Why God? (3X) WHY ME???
I've had enough now.... I call Uncle!
Can't you let me be?
I'm sorry but there's been a mistake
Can't you even see?

I'm supposed to PROSPER!
But I'm in prison... I'm not FREE!


I cried all this in anguish
Cried my very best

Had a huge crushing Boulder
Lying on my chest

Then God sent an answer
And this is what it said...


You're just in a test my dear
You are in a trial

You knew it is a fiery one
And that fires are wild

I have confidence in your ability
I made you strong. my child

Though the Tempest's Rising
I can make it mild



My son had a bad hair day
Great big spiky thorns

They took his only clothing
In nothing adorned

His beard pulled out and spat on
Persecuted. Scorned.

You know all he went through

But for this was he born


You prayed you could be like him
You prayed for closeness here

With my one son Jesus
But I want to make this clear

If you want him close to you
If you want him there

You will pay a price
And it will be dear

I'm training you with mine own voice
Patience! Do you hear?

Do not worry in the least
Please, child, have no fear


When it's the last minute...


THAT'S WHEN I'LL APPEAR!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 7/31/2016

"I just finished watching a movie titled
"The Help"
A true story of Black Folk who were treated
as bad can be.
I'm a white man who feels disgust within every
inch of my body.
Fools they were to treat God's creations that way.
I'm a common sense man who lives under the laws of God himself.
Animals were treated better then they, and it's still happening
today!!!
Lift up your hearts people, and Love the Love that Our Lord had taught.
This goes for every race. It just may bring us to a better
Place."

Morning has broken
but she has not
it had been a long night
sinister fraught
the stars were cut
in lacerations of lace
          stains of tears
                      mark trails
                   on her face
mascara in circles
mocking panda eyes
multiple moments
of almost self-demise
wrists bound to
          sadness, heart
trussed to trust
pain from crumbling
illusions, plus
that constant,
          searing lust
Now, on the floor,
lying face down
in what seemed
              like blood,
she starts to
                 move around,
as realization pours over
in a thick, viscous flood:
She can move her arms;
for they were not
                really bound
That gag in her mouth?
it has dissolved into sound
The sound of her voice
as she gets up
        from the floor
opens the window
bringing light
            to the fore
guttural noises
escape deep
                 from her throat
and before she
knows it, the
room starts to float
furniture circling
as the energy takes
        and she lets in the air
             fresh as new fate
her cuts balmed over
         winds whipping up her hair
marks from taut ropes
smoothing over to bare
and the light bursts in
          in a blast, in a whoosh
like bursts of starlight
cutting in with a push
they seep into shadows
pulsing over the dark
the howling rescinds
          in an explosion of sparks
blocks of pain that held
her chained
are knocked over
and the lightstorm
                keeps coming
her inner percussion
just doesn't stop drumming
      And as she flies through that window
and unhinges the door
            from its frame
freedom
            is now hers
            forever to claim