.
.
.



**I tried
to take the pill
but
it stuck
in the back
of my throat
and it tastes like
the lips
of a lover
I thoughtlessly
kissed
right after
they went to work
tasting every inch
of my love,

unfortunately

breaking
promises
shattering
dreams
tears *hide on my pillow
and silence my screams
I don't look to  create
only seek to destroy
and I play with emotions
as if they were toys
but hey, not to worry
I won't hurt no one else
cos I found
a suitable victim,

*myself

.

.

.

.

.

.

it's 4th period

the warning bell rings

and I'm still in my locker

not knowing which books I need

or where I need to be in 1 minute

but I wouldn't dare ask anyone


a figure approaches

it's black,

formless,

and it floats down the hall

towards me


a vague sense of impending doom

floods my senses

and I'm unable to move

as the figure floats up to me

and my eyes catch the glint of steel


I'm bleeding out, now

holding my guts in my chest

as I call out for help

to the hundreds of other students

but I can't make a sound


my lips move,

but there's nothing coming out

and the color is fading

from my surroundings


the light, too is slowly fading

and I collapse to the floor

as the hundreds of students walk past me

completely oblivious

..and then I wake


**VI

.

it's like finding an exciting new disease
that you never knew
you couldn't live without

it becomes your spirituality
after a "spiritual experience"
affecting everything you do

you're on the path to destruction
and you chase things that leave you empty
like impossibilities

you spiral down, down
until you reach the bottom
and there's no one to break your fall

..

after being down for long enough
your anxieties are replaced with apathy
to where up and down look the same

and if you're very lucky, someone may come along and make a huge impact
somewhat restoring your will to live

gratitude turns to love, love to obsession
as they become more valuable to you
than anything else in your existence

...

determined to be enslaved no longer
you cast aside your old, toxic friends
in favor of healthier choices

with a sizeable chunk of your life missing
you are left with a hungry void
that must be filled with something

so you take up a hobby, or several
and feel some contentment, but it don't last
you're trading one addiction for another

....

your demons haven't gone, but
you find you can keep them contained
if you can keep yourself busy

they're too weak to fight, but they will still
try to trick you into submission
by manipulating your dreams

and even with all the will you can muster
you find that you are basically powerless
and your higher power is tired of your ****

...and it will always be a part of you