26 | 31 Poems for August 2016

Wondering how life will pan out from this moment on as ****** by Usher keeps echoing in the background.
Maybe it was wrong of me to have you stay by my side while your mind was already drifting a million miles away from me.
My love and faith will be dissected; you’ll even go as far as quoting me out of context based on the messages that I’ve sent.
But that’s something that I should expect because I’m also at fault like tectonic plates.
Charles once told me that things would change but not always for the better.
He said as long as I prove myself to be King then I’ll eventually find someone as phenomenal as Coretta.
But Charles I’m slowly losing hope, that Skype call we had on August 14th gave me some perspective and maybe I’m doing something wrong.
Because all day I’ve been sitting here all alone while contemplating if I am going nowhere fast.
Wondering how life will pan out from this moment on as Let It Go by James Bay keeps playing on the radio.
Maybe it was wrong of me to have you stay by my side while your mind was already drifting a million miles away from me.

24 | 31 Poems for August 2016

This is not my life, it’s just a temporary façade, if you listen to my voice you’ll discover that it’s my disguise.
I fully acknowledge the fact that I am not perfect but I’d love to believe that I’m worth it.
The hardest part of saying goodbye is seeing me cry and knowing that I’ll no longer get the chance to see you smile.
I wrote this on a Tuesday morning while listening to Siegfried by Frank Ocean while reading the pages of a Dan Brown novel.
I’d build Rome for you in a day and make you forget about all the negative things that critics always say.
Heartbreak comes in the morning when the sun is shining and the wind is blowing.
My heart breaks as I try to piece this piece together and hopefully find peace by the end of this masterpiece.
I’m tired like the Michelin Man but I still have great drive like a brand new Bentley or Benz.
Some days I’m more Bukowski than Dickens, flipping through the pages of my life as the plot thickens.
They say perception is flawed and distorted, perception is key and I need to find a locksmith.
Contemplating about unexpected goodbyes while living off a temporary high.
A part of me had already anticipated the heartbreak so this time around the effects were less detrimental.
My eyes and mind are blinded by the love that my heart obstinately believes in.
I’m thankful for your love, you gave me something to believe in but the time has come for me to be leaving.
This is not my life, it’s just a temporary façade, if you analyse my poetry you’ll discover that it’s my disguise.

i have repeatedly lied my way to the top.
I am nothing and I have nothing.
want nothing, have nothing they say.
I have wanted it all and I still have nothing .
I can make up events that never occurred and time itself will have to try to remember if she skipped such moments.
I am a blizzard of deceptions
with no plans to slow down anytime soon.
and the best part of it all,
I ENJOY being this, a fraud.

21 | 31 Poems for August 2016

The cuts on her wrists help to express the feelings she cannot put into words.
Despite the pain she feels,  she feels the urge to constantly hurt herself again.
I want to be her sunshine through the rain and be her love through the pain.
She once said "Self-hurt became the only way to cope, I'm hanging by a thread and I hope no one cuts the rope."
Maybe no one will ever truly understand the type of love and happiness that she has begun to humbly demand.
The teenage girl who cuts herself knows that morphine cannot ease her pain.
She bleeds every night and believes that her scars will make her feel all right.
She has been tirelessly walking around with the burden of a broken heart.
She uses countless razor blades just to refrain herself from falling apart.
Mom doesn't know because during the day her scars don't clearly show.
Carefully concealed to avoid the eyes of prying friends, she'd rather converse with a stranger.
Inflicting pain on herself became the only way to cope, she's hanging by a thread and hopes that no one cuts the rope.
The teenage girl who cuts herself is trying to exorcise the demons she has regrettably danced with.
She has wounds a Band-Aid cannot cover and experiences pain that morphine cannot dissipate.
The teenage girl who cuts herself is patiently waiting for love to dominate.
The cuts on her wrists help to express the feelings she cannot put into words.
She believes that her marks and scars will eventually make everything all right.
The day she embraced God's love, her demons questioned the value of their existence.

Swept off her feet my dream has fallen
When a glimpse of my assurance seem to fade away
Curses derail her destination
Hovering with no place of rest
Untamed are her desires as she drifts away
To a forbidden refuge

Canning courtesy compliments
Her pretentious smile...
  Fills me with despair
As I view her ascending to a place unknown
Fragments of my once subtle hope scatter in all directions

Oh what do you do? What to do?
When she has left
What do you do with her promises?
When she is lost
Her once tender comfort  
A Sleepless hollow that swallows my hope whole

Refute takes her breath away
Confusion rises at dawn
Unfounded, unwanted...
Help me undreamed...
Will I ever be redeemed?

18 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I want soulful conversations filled with happiness, love and laughter.
A little bit of red wine, Sade, Jill Scott and Erykah Badu will do.
Time is wasted so I patiently wait for the clock to get sober eventually.
The sincerity of my words is embedded in the movement of my verbs.
Hope you learn to love your thick thighs and those beautiful brown eyes.
I want to hold you in my arms until you forget what loneliness feels like.
I read your body like the pages and chapters of a novel that I never want to stop reading.
Reading the lines on a woman’s skin is poetry and too many men are illiterate.
So they will never truly understand the fact that liberty begins with literacy.
If you incorporate piano keys into my heartbeat, then I promise that you will fall in love with the melody.
I want soulful conversations filled with happiness, love and laughter.
A little bit of chardonnay, Maxwell, Jill Scott and Erykah Badu will do.
The world is nothing without you, the world is blurry without my muse.
Hope you learn to love your thick thighs and those beautiful brown eyes.
I don’t have much but I have you and with God on my side how can I lose?

16 | 31 Poems for August 2016

How can we proceed with ease when we can hardly trust each other?
I have scars that run deep like still waters do – only the ocean can fathom what I’m going through.
I hope the bridges we burn illuminate our paths because the darkness tends to distort our vision.
But you can hardly notice the difference because you always have your eyes closed.
If the truth hurts when I write it, imagine how you’ll feel when you hear it.
I have pain that runs deeper than still waters do – only the ocean can fathom what I’m going through.
You always remained well-composed like a Mozart classic but if the world is your canvas then who’s your muse?
I used to dream about the Grim Reaper driving a Phantom in a graveyard littered with my endeavours of trying to be someone worthy of your love.
My friend Charles once told me that things would change but not always for the better.
But as long as you’re a King then you’ll eventually find yourself someone as phenomenal as Coretta.
No amount of morphine can ease the pain; it may seem insane but I still take pride in the scars I gain.
I have pain that runs deeper than still waters do – only the ocean can fathom what I’m going through.
I hope the bridges you burn illuminate your path because the darkness will distort your vision.
But you will hardly notice the difference because you always have your eyes closed and never really pay attention.

There is a beauteous lass of golden hair,
A silky velvet frock she loves to wear.
Akin to a mulberry moon,
She makes me swoon.
My beauteous lass of golden hair so rare.

© *Kikodinho Alexandros
*17th August 2016

Come on let us explore this life,
Let us take a tour to her cities,
Let us watch her still waters,
And unveil her hidden mystries;

Let us ride on her wings,
And drown in her magnificence,
Lets be hypnotised by her grandeur,
And be mindful of her essence;

Do not close your ears to her voice,
Nor turn a blind eye to her tears,
Be willing to learn of her wisdom,
Abuse not the length of her years;

Come let us beautify her with colours,
Adorn her with aromatic flowers,
Let us preserve her oasis, lakes,
And explore her infinite powers;

Let us go with her to lands of plenty,
And make her beautiful for our children,
Lets embrace her always with a warm heart,
You never know how much good that'll be building;

She seeks for our appreciation of her,
And the protection of her children,
In Europe, africa, the americas, and middle east,
Please enough of their executioning;

So lets take hold of her passionately,
And value those in whom she dwells,
walk through her boulevard of fulfiled dreams,
And always drink from her fresh wells.

When you want to learn something,
Learn it all the way;
And if something is worth doing,
Do it in the best way;
It isn't enough for wishful thinking,
And not just enough to pray;
Believing should always come first,
faith and work is also the way;
If success is what you admire,
There is a huge price to pay;
There might be difficulties as you go on,
Be resilient come what may;
Practice always makes perfect,
Keep practicing everyday;
But remember not to start a thing,
And eventually end up halfway;
Do not feel too comfortable on top,
Learn something new each day;
The end of growth as we know it,
Is the beginning of decay;
Do not despise others as you grow,
You might need them someday;
if a relationship intends to pull you down,
Do not hesitate to breakaway;
Remember also the contributions of others,
And be willing to repay;
Also do not rely solely on others,
Try making your own headway;
There are many who have so done,
But were led astray;
As you spend your time working hard,
Reserve a little time to play;
So that you don't loose loved ones,
And leaving your mind in disarray;
So get on with what you ought to do,
There is no time to delay;
Because ideas left under utilized,
Can quietly slip away.

17 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I understand the fact that I am not always easy to understand.
Loving me is complicated and maybe that’s the beauty of it all.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
“You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will you keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.
Let me write my wrongs until I’m right within but where should I begin?
Walking through a graveyard littered with my ideas and thoughts.
Littered with my endeavours of trying to be someone worthy of your love.
You don’t believe in me so who am I to tell the world about our story?
Just another spoken-word poet from Pretoria trying to attain his glory.
These words are written with great effort but you never pay attention anyway.
You know that I’ve got hyperhidrosis but I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
“You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will people keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.