Into the Fray - Hello Poetry

Dec 2018

muteD

12/3 trapped

Do you know how it feels to be a prisoner
of your own mind ?
To feel trapped inside your own head .
Confined to a room w four walls
of nothing .
Almost like you were just dropped into this void .
An empty space filled with gloominess and
so much shade .
Feels as though I started off as a being with a
soul ,
A spirit if you may .
but slowly I've turned into a nonentity .
someone you don't notice is gone
until you need something .
until you need to release those feelings you hold
inside ,
you wouldn't notice me even if I died .
And I would cry ,
If I had any tears left .

Oh and do you know how it feels to want to
hide from yourself ?
Hide from the guilt
Hide from the shame
Hide from who you really are
whoever that is .
I am tired of this mask I am forced to wear .
Cloaking myself in the scent of happiness ,
Just so I can trick my thoughts into
Disappearing .
If only for a little while .
Oh how I wish for lucidity .
I just want to be heard
to be truly figured out .
I want someone to put together my mess
of a puzzle .
save me from myself
because she's a tricky one .
save me from this life filled with nothing
but endless pain .
every day is filled with the want to disappear
into thin air .
Evaporate into the heavens above
Or melt into the fires below

All I want is to not feel a thing .
But instead I feel every jab of words .
Like a stab wound to my chest
with a twist .
The twist being me holding that knife
To my own throat .
Do you know how it feels to hold the dagger of
death ?
One incision ,
One puncture and it's all over .

"That ****ts deep as hell my dude. You got a way with words for sure... The cloaking line and [the] disappearing thoughts [line] is hard facts."-LS

Dec 2018

muteD

12/5 "Are you still watching"

What do you want from me ?
Truly .
Each of you want a piece
of something
with substance .
A piece of me split each way .
A different sketch for each of you .
Everyone needs an altered piece of myself to
play with ,
A 'rag doll' as they call it .
To do whatever you please .
A character to play out in your story.
History ,
Her story
Everyone's story
Except mine .
My story ,
When does my story begin ?

sometimes I get tired of playing the role I was
cast in ,
I'm an actor in this tired excuse of a play .
Maybe that is my story .
My tale .
A nightmare is what it is .
A fairytale is what it used to called .
Some fiction mixed a litte truth
because all lies are based from fact .
Maybe all I'm meant to be
is a different flame
in every wildfire .
Meant to fuel your passions
And to inspire your dreams .
There's a different me
For everybody .
Every one of you ****** get
Amity
Or amour .
You get someone who would protect you
From every thorn
of pain in this existence called 'life' .
I'd sacrifice mine ,
to save you twice .
Recognizing your flaws for what they really are ,
Imperfect beauty marks
on the heart .
I care for you how only I can wish
You'd care for me .
And that's my issue .
I see your potential
All your pain , I feel .
Like a sponge , I soak up all your filth .
I polish you .
I always wipe your surface
even though my movements go unnoticed .
Time and time again ,
I'm the one who listens .
Starting but never finishing
like a slept on movie series.
you fall asleep on me before you even
understand me .
Snoozing as I portay
this idea of disarray .
I watch you ignore me
And all while asking ,
"Are you still watching?"

"I feel some type of way tbh and it really hurt my heart... [Is it] about me cause I feel like the shoe fit."-MO
"***. I relate to this one. Like I think this is one of my favorites. It's so f*cking true how you [can] give someone your all and they [will still] sleep on you. Like fr this one is golden."-L

Dec 2018

muteD

12/6 "a mental break , documented"

Crazy .
That's what I must be .
I must be losing my mind .
My head hurts so much ,
A self inflicted pain on accident ,
I swear .
What is happenening to me ?
Water falling from my eyes .
Mental pain turning physical ,
Why does my heart hurt ?
I feel like my mind is attacking itself .
World War One
all over
in my head
Bullets flying
Memories being killed
Can't be right ,
Trust me the pain is left
Left as in wrong this pain is wrong
Rambling
I'm rambling .
Crazy ,
I'm going crazy .
Mentally unstable .
Imagine being mentally unstable .
You can't , can you ?
Why would you want to imagine losing your
mind ?
Could you even imagine losing something that
was never yours ?
I feel like a wrecked ship
Lost at sea .
I'm lost in my head
Thinking so much
My head is pounding.
Started left only to consume everything right .

Wicked .
What a wicked curve
In this race of sanity .
Giving me the blueprints of a wild mind
One that can't possibly be mine
my mind
Can't possibly be breaking
Shattering .
I'm shattering .
Cracking
Into a million pieces .
It is me , I know that
But it's like I'm watching me
Fall apart ,
Feeling every single emotion
Almost as if I wrote this screenplay
A movie of my own downfall
Written by me .
Starring me .
But , it isn't me
It is me
But it isn't me
A broken me .
Beaten down and bloodied up ,
I wish I would have known
A broken mind continues to break
Until it's fully broken .

"This explains a mental breakdown really well for people that don't have them and I think that's really important."-TNB
"To me is explaining every woman and how we are called crazy but we are still strong enough to hold **** in."-L

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Goodness

When she takes her pain,
the pitch perfect darkness
that has pursued her,
the sorrow from all of those
who misused her,
and uses it
to illuminate
the void in which
other hurting souls
ruminate.

When despite
the years of abuse
he makes good use
of said experiences,
pardoning most grievances,
attempting to prevent
similar suffering
for others,
and his first instinct
is to offer assistance
to those in need
and those who
don't really need it.

When there have been
too many unkind men
knocking
and trying
to take
what was not theirs,
and anger
stirs in her,
when strangers
come near,
but despite
the rage and fear
she spends her years
studying and working
to overcome
previous tragedies
and share those lessons
with the rest of humanity.

When one child cries
and despite
the lack of age
another little wonder
of human flesh
expresses
genuineness
and tries to
calm the troubled youth.

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 68

I didn’t find my faith
behind a wooden pew,
from the singing choir,
or the books that I looked through.
The crucified figure
just hangs up there to wither
whether I believe
or feel I’ve been deceived.

I got no faith to speak of
I got no god to seek but
I can bare this burden
by myself.

Calvary ain’t doing it for me,
and despite the lie
salvation doesn’t come from,
a sip of symbolic wine.
You eat fake ******* flesh
and say that it is fine,
but I don’t want to waste
anymore of my time.

I got no faith to speak of
I got no god to seek but
I can bare this burden
by myself.

You can keep your wooden cross,
and I will take all that I loss
though the burden maybe heavy
it won’t crack my back
cause I like my facts
they keep me standing
semi steady.

I got no faith to speak of
I got no god to seek but
I can bare this burden
by myself.

Dec 2018

Nico Reznick

We Are Product

“But maybe your real job is shopping…”

Sleepwalk through stock footage.  Life as
documentary.  Soundtrack of horror movie score:
ambient electronica, bubblegum nostalgia and
**** love songs.  Everything becomes
visual metaphor: blackbirds, barcodes and
birthday candles; Big Pharma pick & mix;
lipstick ritual; pigeon superstition; fraying flags
of fading empires; migratory patterns of
shopping trolleys; special offers; fantastic prizes.
Worker bees are vanishing - they all want to
be queens - and our hives overflow
with honey, but are empty and dead.  We got
infected with aspiration, with individualism.
Generically unique career consumers: remember
when you were more than your credit rating,
more than your demographic, more than your
market-driven self-diagnosis?

#society #consumerism #materialism #self #trap #freedom #shopping #politics #civilisation #aspiration

Dec 2018

TIM ANDREWS

The Next Time

When next I see you,
I shall say nothing
Not that I have nothing to say.

When next I see you,
I shall feel nothing
Not that I have nothing to feel.

I shall not let words or feelings
Interrupt our communion

When you were young,
I played with you,
I read to you,
I tucked you in.

When you were older
I spoke words you enjoyed
I expressed feelings you understood

But, no, I shall say nothing,
I shall feel nothing,
It may only last a moment.

It will mean everything

2018

Dec 2018

elm

365

one year has gone by
and he isn't sick of me yet

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 60

Bereft of depth
the cattle calls
a chattering clutter
of noises that bothers
saner minds
and their ****** daughters.

When fools ferment
deep discord
from a good temperament
turning sweet wine
into a bitter product
wilting from some
rotten vine,

and honest hearts
no longer entreat
the wisdom of fools
they once deigned
to share
humanity’s goodwill
and ever shrinking grace with.

Let them loose their tongues
and see drool dripping
like a sea of diarrhea.

For these things are
matters of darker dreams,
past times parting
partial truths
to the cruel schemes
of the obtuse
and greedy hearts
who abuse
all those
who challenge their views.

Dec 2018

wordvango

her

Then a wind blew from northern
To here up a skirt
And the silk stockings
Hued like mist tween the mountains
Over thigh through a valley to
here adrift woman scented
Smoky rushing through vein
As fire arush through blushing
tip onto the pyre
lit anew
That brief heaven glimpse upon a promise grew
A future
I am here now
As I tilted and
Honored
My grandiose
Windmill
My darling

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 58

We focus so intensely on
single snapshot moments.
Till, our vision burns and blurs,
and we cry because
our head and heart hurts.

We try to see everything,
because if we don't
we are afraid of
the good and bad things
that we might be missing.

In all of the stress
we miss
the things that could have
been the very best
for us.

Dec 2018

Nico Reznick

Job Interview

Suddenly aged and prickling inside drab suit
(that fits in every way besides the one that matters),
sip stewed tea, UHT milk, and
be gracious about it.
Faces requisitioned from Head Office
ask questions like the answers you give
could possibly mean anything.
Try not to act bored or high, even though
you're both.  Pretend like
you could belong here.
Don't let on you think thoughts that are in breach of the House Style.
Don't, under any circumstances, let them
find out you write
poetry.
Don't give yourself away.

Afterwards, brittle and weary outside,
notice how it feels like
your feet inside your good pair of shoes
are nailed to the asphalt reality
of this bleakly nowhere estate; you're
crucified against the
indifference of the afternoon,
bled out by another day of attempting to
sell yourself cheap and still
not closing.
You learned to walk upright for this.
Even the sun looks old and done with trying.
If a stranger offered you a cigarette right now,
would you break your two-year streak?

The phlegmy rattle of builders' vans;
soft pale smell of saw dust on damp air;
that sense of inevitable mutual rejection.

#life #reality #rejection #realism #work #job #office #bleakness #employment

Dec 2018

girl diffused

Sadism

Today
(my darling)
You fed me
Shards of glass
(said "open wide")
And apologized for cutting my mouth open.

A/N: a new format after a fresh 12-hour heartbreak all over again.

#heartbreak #relationship #sadism #masochism #sadness #relationships