I was well-armed,
And I dug in.
Bolted the garrison gates,
Posted my defences on turrets
Of pity and self-loathing;
Attacked with self-righteousness
And posturing.
After the expected one hundred years,
You retreated and fled,
Yet I awaited another on-slaught,
Sharpened my sticks,
Mounded my stones,
Prepared for a signal.
The Keep has long fallen,
The moat is weedy and dry,
But I've left the drawbridge down,
Dismissed my guards,
Examined my scars.
I am a veteran of domestic wars,
With no benefits.

My first real job
was trying to glue
blown up teenagers
back together.
I was twenty, old.
I held them in my arms
and told them lies
while they cried and died.
Told them it was ok,
they were fine, going home.
Their spirits lodged in
the secret chambers
of my broken heart.
I can never forget.
Their faces stick
in in my brain
like photos in a wallet.
I will never forgive
those who sent us to die
and then treated us
like mad, pariah dogs
if we made it back.
But we knew what we knew.
He today who sheds
his blood with me
shall be my brother.
Brothers in arms.
Brothers forever.

waking slowly to the singing of birds
after a hard day
      and a late night
finally granted deep sleep
     dreamless in memory
my lazy soul is quite happy
with being
   nowhere in particular
for a while

white walls enhance
   bright spots of sunlight
finding their way
   through time-worn blinds
from the radio alarm
   human voices send sounds
   as comforting and meaningless
   as the song of birds

it takes some time to re-establish
   a basic sense of time and place
moving through by now familiar spaces
my eyes record the necessary data
my hands prepare breakfast
my feet take me to the table
my senses register the sight and taste
   of coffee and ham and bread
and the luscious
   deep red
   strawberries I bought yesterday

when I kiss you good morning
   on the telephone
hear your voice
and wish you all the best for a day
   of enervating committee meetings
I cannot tell you of my joy
of waking to our world
that holds
    the sun    
    the birdsong
    the luscious ripe fruit

    us

            * *

I was born with
an armour or
so I thought,
a shield against
the incoming
storm, but
the veneer
wore thin
& over time
the sea crept in,
now there
is no blank state
when I wake,
a dark sky
occupies my
mind that
I taste on my
lips, wars,
taxes, too many
deaths.

when we are young
we fill our days
with everything that comes along
seductive glances lead us on
pleasures delight our senses
we feel great and strong

then comes a time
when days are filled
with children  family  and work  
with barbecues perfectly grilled
the same old jokes told for a rhyme
and little else

transition to our later years
fills days with memories of earlier ones
life’s frost has whitened our hair
we may start thinking how we were
when blood was fresh in our bones
when we faced our future with all trust  no fears

by now we know what filling our days should hold
that our thinking may be clear and bold
provoking to the young and make them dare
think their own brilliant thoughts and be aware
that we have all the time the world can give
but none to spare

Here in the desert
it's been raining
on and off
            for days
making the succulents and cacti
glisten with wetness
their thick skin sparkles
and catches nature's ironic eye
flowers and plants shine
so much better in the half-grey
Here in the prehistoric depths
Of rocky whitewash and silt
             flash floods rush through
flushing out all guilt
         And inside
a raging storm commences
and I feel so blessed
to be a part of this celebration
my lungs expanding in my chest
I breathe in deep
that fresh purity of air
let it cleanse right through me
from my toes up to my hair
It rushes in my body
taking no prisoners in its force
flows through every vein
cleansing poisons in its course
its power flows into me
washing out this stubborn pain
Turning the confusion
                     into clarity again
From inside subconscious thoughts
           realization thunders
rinsing from my mind
                 the emotional strain
and replacing it with euphoric wonders
Come, my raging desert tempest
Bathe me
       penetrate me with wet
restore and purify
my being
take over and disinfect
let me feel my own strength
until it pours out from my cells
into the space inside my heart
where love and lust still dwell
My tears mingle with the sweet drops
                as I fling arms open to the sky
releasing strikes of lightening
for every word I cry
as I summon, pray for lightness
mixed with the sturdiness of earth
Let joy rise up and bubble
within my being
as rebirth

My stained glass window
Changed the color of my outlook.

Nha Trang, Vietnam, 1972

Darkened portal. Room of shadows. A haze of ***.
Hard vision of *** and combat. Mixed up. Dream.
Young girl smiles outside a Nha Trang bordello.
Smile of innocence in a land of evil. Unreal.
Whose need rejects this process? Transaction of lust.
She removes her *ao dai like lifting fog. Naked.
Mortars fall as we writhe. Danger is my business.
Harder and faster like a rocket barrage. Deep.
Kick of a 12 gauge pump. Flesh explosions.
****** ***** out your breath. So does this.
War and *******. Extinction and lust. The same.
****** a moment from the blood and tears.
All is burning. Cling to any possible refuge.
     Bound together in this instant of life;
     Completing ourselves in this world of death.

Heartbeats fast
whispers and plans
a mother's heart conflicted
as she wrings her hands
through the courage,
streaming tears
        she will let him go
despite her fears
Outside, canines barking harsh
men's cruel shouts
she must say her goodbyes
as the shots ring out
So many kisses
on his sweet, sleepy face
         little man deep in slumber,
in angelic grace
yes, he cried for a minute
as the morphine kicked in
and she rocked him and rocked him
his little frame, so thin
Now as his father takes him
she crumples to the wall
"By the will of God may I see
him again" she whispers
for he is her all
Outside the freeze
puffs breath into clouds
the quiet imperative for
             this next move:
Father gently slips son
into the rough-hewn jute,
No rotten potatoes today, no
this is far more important
No one will look for a tot
in a potato sack, he hopes
He looks around and slips
through the hole in the wire
These moments are critical
the need for speed is dire
A quick trip to the village
           in the black cloak of night
looking over shoulder
Finally the house…it's just there,
the next meadow over
the secret knock is sounded
and the door opened in silence
warm arms greeting, helping
carry the goods inside
Will this be a respite
from all the endless violence?
            Laid gingerly on the bed,
the sack is eased off gently
no potatoes inside
just a small sleeping boy
his parents only pride
Father strokes his hair,
Lays his palms on his head
to bless this bundle of sweetness
in his new environment
"I will come for you, my son"
tucks thin blanket around
and the deed is done
and now, in the cold lonely
smoldering air
of the burning dark
now in the kiss of hopeful protection
yes, now it's time to part

Back to his wife in the ghetto's
cold, sickened  space
to try to convince her
to bust out of that twisted place
You are my warrior, you
and all the others
Your spirit beats on
in my
     naked heart's
            thunder

Let us focus on forgiveness
Make it our word of the day
Whether it be of yourself or someone else
Sit back and watch what it creates

As it takes the heart of the hurting
Kneads and melds it into shape
You've never lived until you've learned to give
The bitter taste of bitterness away

Take hold of the hand of forgiveness
Leading you wherever it may
You will never go wrong with the path it is on
Where forgiveness is the best of all ways

It's a good thing to believe in magic
Then your wishes can come true
When life is easy and each day new
Magic just adores to surprise you

It's a good thing to believe in love
To be certain your on your way
Nurture and care every single day
Love simply loves to shine her ray

It's a good thing to believe in peace
No need to ever war and fight
Watching over humanity with light
Peace will always help us to do right

Dance within the moonlight until happiness whittles deep into your core. Live within the passion as your blood begs for more.

Let loose the inhibition that impedes the third eye still, decalcify the walls of salt to release our true ability to feel.

Once the visions open to reveal the golden path as greater, we change the way we wage the war to reject the fighting nature.

To be the shift in frequency be the light bringer to mass stagnation, be the love of unity and give our all despite frustration.  

We cannot seek blood when so much of ours was taken, we must end the cycle for only our souls are breaking.

In the midst of human chaos
we might seek out the beauty
of celestial love.
Can I get an Amen?
A-MEN!

In the midst of celestial love
we might glimpse the power
of the unconquerable human spirit.
Can I get an Awe-women?
AWE-WOMAN!

In the midst of human spirit
we perceive the tenderness
of the eternal human soul.
Can I get an Aww-men?
AWW-MEN!

In the midst of the human soul
we might find jealousy and hatred,
the sources of human conflicts.
Can I get an Ahh-men?
Ahh.  Men.

In the midst of human conflicts
we might find the love and soul
to disagree in harmony.

Can I get an A-men?