Stubbed toe
Too soft shoe

Final interaction

Body in extremis
Meeting hard-edged world

It’s a mental picture
that I snap to capture
artistic rapture
and save it for later.
Until age and infirmity
finally finishes me

See this is so strange to me,
all this obsessing
doesn’t break down logically.
But you are breathtaking,
soul shattering if you chose to be
and I would risk eternal damnation
to be next to you and do whatever
you want me to do.

In the morning, my first thoughts
are of you.
In the evening I daydream,
play out strange fantasies
that circle around all the things
I long to do for you
and to you.

When I go to the gym
I try to strengthen
my body and mind
so if the time
comes
when you need me
to defend you
or help you run
then I know
I have done
all that could to prepare.

Part of me is very scared,
because I can imagine
getting lost
somewhere
deep in there,
in a place where me, and I
becomes we and us
because I must
Still, I trust this love
is more than lust.
I desire your mind
and you naked touch

If I am an egg
fragile and ready to shatter,
and all the yoke spills out
like yellow brain matter
if you break my heart,
I know that all the king’s men
and all the king’s horses
couldn’t glue me back the same
cause you would have my heart
and I would keep what remains.
But I will risk it,
because to miss it for fear of trying
to sit out the inning
and go on dying
well what an empty life that would be.

There is no time
As you time passes through
Eye's perpetual needle
And a basic understanding,
      There are no seasons
That resonate forms and certain
Needs,
   There is not enough time
For anger and happinesses,
Only that it remains equal
In the chaos of a a hurried
Mind,
   A flutter into tornadic
Expressions,
A desire into a yearning fire,
Indirectly the season gives
A feel,
The cold winter she walked
Into the wind and her hair did
Not move, time does not beat
There, but arches into
A future,
    That summer the sweat
Off your brow bought the car
Of a dream in a dream,
   Carefully time snuck by
And perfected a moment's
Theory,
    A man needs both time and
Stillness to recognise that
All is fleeting,
And the only thing real
Is the mist,
In the mist
A temporal moan.

Looking back,
I think our main issue stemmed
from the fact
that we completely skipped being friends,
and instead jumped headlong into,
what was supposed to be,
a lifetime commitment.
We never learned each other
as friends,
as separate people that,
sometimes,
require space to be themselves
by themselves.
As people that catch up when,
and only when,
the rest of life will allow.
We are both too independent
to be dependent
or contingent on
anyone
or anyone's schedule.
For a long while
I thought (consciously) I was not guilty,
but I know that I,
too,
tend to lose myself into relationships.
I think we did it backwards —
from relationship to friendship —
but at least
we are
friends.

Sitting upon a grassy field
Sounds of laughter around
There he sits still as stone
Eyes a glassy wonder

Again at home upon his bed
Headphones off
Staring straight ahead
Many times mom has called
Never hearing above the drone

hate
****
hurt
fear

whispers said unto his ear...