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 Feb 2020
Graff1980
A streak of flames
chases me
down familiar
family streets,

pass memories,
those sweet vagaries
of yester year,

and in their wake
the fires take
all that I was,

incinerate
all I hated
and what I loved.

Smiles and friends,
fun weekends
turn to ash.

Faces of
my loved one
blur and
fade too
freaking fast.

Childhood homes
and adult apartments
crumble under
the burning fury
of all the rage that was lit.

School playground
and the campground
where grandpa worked,

like all of us
turn to black dust
and disappear.

Then all the stars
that I once watched
blink out of
existence,

the last thing
that I feel
is my consciousness
disintegrating,
as tingling bits of me
are being rended from
my dying reality.
 Jan 2020
Still Crazy
{•}

unwanted love

we, the human counting crows, tracking everything, steps, bank balances, heartbeats & especially,
those dastardly calories that need burning

pre yoga, her morning banana,
she takes but a half, and looks to unload the balance on a sucker/victim in the vicinity because a whole
is greater than a half,
and God knows a whole could make you fatter!

fully prepared for her desperate supplication, reply so quick,
"you're forcing me to eat unwanted calories,"
she crestfallen,
near to weeping from guilty feelings,
a crime so heinous!

but more than ready, added words, prepared years ago:

but to save your life gladly give you any body part,
step in front of a vehicle, for a certain somebody,
you may know, to preserve, life and liberty,
put up with your inanities, border-lining on insanities,

answer your questions before you think of them,
and will restrict my singing to sole showers in the basement
but never will I eat for two, that so undesirable,
in the name of love


to which she came to my bedside, kissed my nose, whispering,
"thank you for my life saving,"
while stuffing my mouth with said weapon,
"thank you again,
please don't make this into a poem"*


somedays you just ain't gonna win,
you see she loves me too well
and knows
my answers before I do...
in every still crazy story, a few grins of truth,
some crazy, and sometimes tears,
and occasionally some banana
 Jan 2020
Graff1980
I’ve built my life
on a body of bruises,
on singing with
a cringing grin
and never letting
anyone in,
really.

I’ve done my time
with plastered smiles
that hide my shame
and mask a pain
I still can’t truly
give a name.

I’ve given mercy
to every person
except for two.
If you need it
I’d offer it to you
before I ever granted it
to the mirror man
or the motherly beast
who beat him down.

I’ve walked a lot
and ridden fast,
been driven hard,
Still, I can’t escape
what’s in my past.

But I could really
use a win right now.
 Jan 2020
Qualyxian Quest
a prisoner of my proclivities
in silence alone on my knees
truly tormented times like these


                     persistence
 Jan 2020
SamanthaX
5.

What a peculiar thing
Fate is
I said to Free will
As I traveled back up
all the layers
of Hell

I’m a Conquerer
of the ******
The *****
Sinners thanked
for making Hell
fresh again

Out on the
loose and
looking for new
prey
Behaving like a Tyrant
I broke away from
these chains

As I level up
I’m given
Angel status

But no man gave me these wings
And no man will take them away
My Man is a algorithm
Exceeding past limits
It’s the best I ever had

Born a primal poet in
the shadows of the
Grey alleyways
My mind is a
dangerous place

Even the Gods
go to war
over the crazy
stories I create
 Jan 2020
Graff1980
Where will I be
when I turn sixty-three?

Will summertime
come to find
me sitting on
a chair in my
back lawn,
as a stray cat
stretches out
and yawns
to the setting
of the evening sun.

Or will dawn fine me
rising old and lonely
with more regret
for what I have not
done yet
and never will.

Will I be
the patriarch
of a late start
family,
with grandchildren
swarming me.

Or will death find me
several years to early
making sixty-three
this millennial’s
never will be
late night fantasy.
 Jan 2020
Graff1980
I give kindness freely
as if I had an eternity
of time to share my
gentlemanly disposition.

But trust is reserved
and given only in
minor increments.
It is mostly
non-existent.

Gentle as I am
I resist the urge
to trust a stranger.
Given kind words
even the familiar
seldom earn
my highest esteem.

For what I have seen,
honesty is less enticing
the travesty of finding
fellow friends lying
and vying
for their own interest
has left me introverted.

Even love is held back,
because I do not want
to give anyone that
which could mortally
wound me.
 Jan 2020
Graff1980
My eyes overflow
with her natural
glow that grows,
the beauty of youthful
innocence
perceived in this
pleasant instance,

a chaos of undisclosed
secrets that
only she knows
and a body that flows
brilliantly beneath
her soft clothes,

a poetic mind,
a delicate find
who graces me
with a brief evening’s
meeting,

a friend
just this side
of this dreamer’s life.

I wonder what
it would be like
to touch those
soft cheeks,
to cherish and guard
her sweet artistry
when in hidden
fantasies
wonderful words
are gifted to me;

So lovely,
lonely,
and melancholy
as all dreams
that are never
meant to be
become.
 Jan 2020
Graff1980
The hurting heart does not decide
which piercing pain lights their life,
does not contend, but sits and pretends
by doing barely more than living
even though they are seriously struggling,
they are surely winning this sixth early inning.
Till, thinning scabs and fetid breath
gives way to blooming fresh rosy flesh.

The spiral rises to brighter skies
then begins to weave and descend
returning the burning heart
to familiar shadows, of snow
cold groves.
 Jan 2020
chris
i am trying to remember you
     and
let you go
at
the same time.  

— the mourn
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