The day is rainy,
The night is long,
Without you I’m nothing,
When I’m with you I feel as though time stops around us and we’re the only ones who can move,
I feel as though the birds chirp louder,
The bees buzz more eloquently,
When I’m with you the water looks more blue
Like the sky without clouds,
I think more,
I feel more,
I see more,

When I’m with you my heart rate slows,
My thoughts become more positive as though a wave has cleared away all of the negativity and left behind only positivity,
When I’m with you I become more understanding of who we are as a couple,
I feel as I am meant to be with you for the rest of my life!

I hate when some love,
For the thought of happiness,
The smile in their eyes,
Joy in their heart,
Brings a lump in my throat,
Love is no felony!
I scream at myself,
I look into the mirror,
And looking back at me,
Is the green eyes of jealousy.

Look at the sky
Isn’t it beautiful
The wind dances on the warmth from the sun
The trees and grass sing salutations in response to its rays
Wet pavement reflects light like silver
A mirror to the sky creating an abyss of blue
A river
Floating in this beautiful life, alive
This is life through the eyes of a child

But then there’s me
Staring through and empty face
Hollow eyes
The river is just a river
The pavement is cracked and worn
My soul is torn between
Between wanting to die
And living a lie
What is alive
When you can’t feel anymore

What the **** is wrong with me
Every touch could be my last sensation
Someone please help me
I’m running out of patience
**** God
Who the **** are you
I’d like to talk to him
I’d like to meet him
Ask him why he’s doing this to me
Why did you give me so much

I’m losing a battle I was forced to fight
It doesn’t seem right
I’m losing the light
In my eyes glassing over
With each pathetic petty interaction
Put on my mask and dance
Dance you ******* monkey
Smile for the camera
Spin around and take a bow

I didn’t ******* ask for this
I didn’t ask to be here
I didn’t ask to be alive
I didn’t ask to be sad
I didn’t ask to be

They keep telling me
Everyone has a purpose in this world
Well maybe mine is to be ******* fodder
For the worms
Maggots eat through my body and lay their eggs
Let them swim down my throat and through my eyes
Maybe then I would see what this world really wants from me

I wish I could feel
No sensations anymore
No touch
I feel like I’m floating
Everything tastes like bile
My mind lagging behind my body like watching an old movie

Look left; look right
Step one; two
Itch; scratch
Breathe; cough
Hurts; stop
Eyes; burn
Stare; through
Laugh; stand up
Walk; now smile

Isn’t this fun?
Let’s do this again.
Same time tomorrow?

But the drifting shadows of memories once made.
Life's little whisps of time
that beam from the glittering eyes of loved ones
Gently mixing with the water colors
of sentiment and desire
Forever painting our slumbering wishes
across the eternal pages
of hopeful tomorrows

They say
Where there is hope
There will be life

 I say
What is life without
Happiness & fairness
What is life without
Proper funding
To buy even the
Basic Things
In life
              
 I say
 In hope
 I see our children
 Starving

In hope
I see our children
Gunned down
Everyday on our
Streets, and even
Inside their classrooms

In hope
I See too many
Heart broken

In hope
I see our blue Angels
Gunning down
My brothers, just
Because
Of the color of
Their skin

In hope
I see our elected
Officials
Corruptions at a
Different level

In hope
I see racism
Evolved

In hope
I see the world
On the verge
Of collapsing

In hope
I see pastors
Appearing
On television
Defending
The wicked

In hope
I see too many
Tears
From our
Mothers  Eyes

In hope
I see nothing
But a path of
Thorns towards
Peace

In hope
I say
I am hopeless

And in
Hopelessness
I am lifeless
       Yet
I’m still holding
   On to hope

.


In my dreams I am a warrior....Athena  on horseback.
Battle scarred yet with a quiet strength that burns within.
I am a white witch...arms outstretched as I dance beneath the saucer moon.
My lips moving in an incantation that will set me free.
The stars above the only witnesses as I relinquish all that does not serve me.
The manacles that bound in misery now rusted and useless.
Like a caged canary that at last  escapes its imprisonment from its human oppressor.
Wings flapping madly in a joyous first taste of freedom.
I am the water that once was murky and heavy with silt,
Now flowing free..crystal clear and pure.
The storm that has raged for a lifetime now calm..a gentle warm breeze.
The elements of nature stand beside me...my foot soldiers, guardians.
A reminder that I am not alone...
I am at last laid bare....canvas white and new....
The time is now.......let it go....

please...don't go
i can't lose you again
please don't be drifting away
i knew once we kissed again that you're the one i want
please
don't say goodbye
i know you're not allowed to talk to me
but you still do
i'm sorry
but you say you love me
so please my love
show me
prove it to me
cause for ****'s sake i love you too
and thank you for caring about me
i need you by my side