I remember the evening
that we sat clinging
to paper cups
of coffee gone cold

over secrets spilled and memories told
two bodies cursed
with hearts grown old

behind your eyes
I found new worlds
A winding road stretched out for miles
to a small cafe at the end of the isle

Sweet pastries filled the mouths
of those who sat beside us
and stayed for a while.

How the hours went by,
people just passing through
The descending sun ending
a forever with you.

I tucked you away in the back of my brain
Waited for the spring to thaw you out
And now I mourn our winters lost, our summer love fading fast,

It is May, we were not made to last

What
makes
A poet

Well
I think
Eventually

One will
just
know it

©  2019 Jim Davis

Tell me what it’s like to fall out of love
So beautifully and with ease,
You walked away, me still on the street
And still managed to make it look like art,
Our love was never movie-like but the ending was,
Alone and grey on the pavement, begging for your patience
So I could prove to you one more time that I was worthy of being with
But you never wanted to hear it

I don’t know exactly when I lost you.
Somewhere in the middle of me
Falling apart on a perfectly timed cycle
And blaming my sadness on your apathy,
I remember you told me you couldn’t handle it anymore.
I don’t know when, I remember the way you walked out the door.
And how when I chased after you, peeling paint cracked off where the handle was
Before I started trusting you and started leaving the door open
I remember when I gained you,
Everything went silent
When you told me you needed me
I called your “I love you’s” filler words
And you called me paranoid
I remember hibiscus kisses, stumbling
Over broken pavement outside my apartment
Where we made love on the couch
And I felt the blood in my veins
Make its way to my heart
And I finally felt that feeling
I waited my entire life for
I felt you and my favorite record playing
And I thought that was what it was like to be alive
And to be happy about it, for once
And then you left and now I drive in silence
Music makes me sick
Six months after you left I learned what it meant when people
Told me I had to get over it or it would **** me
Because I tried to **** me and the pictures that flashed across my face
As it started to fade,
Were all of you

I forced myself to sit and write about you because it hadn’t hurt in so long, and though I know that I am healed, sometimes I get scared of forgetting the way you used to make me feel like I was flying when we both know I was drowning. I don’t need that anymore but that high is unmatchable and I miss seeing the entire universe inside one person. So I forced myself to sit and think about you. To remember you. To dig down deep, way past my anger and look to the place where I first planted you. I needed to feel something so I went to that place and it all came rushing back at once.








I am abundant in forgiveness. You never apologized but I accept it anyway. I saw everything in you. My highs, my highs, my highs. Oh they were so golden. My lows, you picked me up from them every single time. I used the hell out of you and you let me. I know you wanted to save me. I know you loved me. I know that for you, being in love meant working on another person. We met the day after I was ***** and I carry that guilt on me like an armor, I wonder how hard I would have loved you if I didn’t need it. I forced myself to sit and think about you because I am doing it again.







I’m falling in love with someone new and it scares me to think that I could get that blind again. I could get that hollow and desperate. That small. That shallow. I let you teach me what I already knew. I forced myself to sit and think of you and I sat quietly as the anger passed through and the only thoughts left were harrowing and sad and blue and soft. You and I were best friends and I haven’t mourned that part yet because I only mourned the loud *** we had in every room in every building we went in. I mourned the laughter we shared until 4 in the morning. I mourned the way you looked at me like I lit up the room when I was so visibly tired.












I mourned everything but our friendship because I didn’t think it would ever end and when it did I couldn’t process it. I couldn’t handle the guilt. I couldn’t handle the way you checked out after one mistake when I spent 8 months letting you lower me into the ground without ever raising my voice.










I mourned my soul.
I mourned my future. I mourned my past. But I never mourned us because we were supposed to last. And when we didn’t, I felt my entire soul collapse. And I’m doing it again.







And I just thought I’d sit down and write you this and wonder if you could let me know what I could have done differently back then, so this time around I don’t do it again? I forced myself to think of you one last time so when the time comes to love this new person, I do it right and I don’t have to do this again. I wanted to hurt because I needed to remember how good it felt and how hard it was to let you go. I did let you go, and I write this 7 months later, in the spring, watching the sunset, full of light and gratitude, a whole winter has passed. I write this now in hopes that this new spring lasts. Will you write me back?

Don't repeat your old mistakes..Analyse and learn from them but at the same don't be afraid to make new ones.

we do not write poetry
we write mirrors
which are held up
to curious faces
who read
looking for their
own reflections