Today
is a present
yesterday
could never
give and
tomorrow
could never
take away.

I love to wake up and see you
I love to wake up and hear you

Your smell in my hair
Your taste on my tongue

I want to spend every day near you
Sunrises and sunsets are the best

But, I hate the feel of the sand on my body
I sunburn too quickly
I am not a strong swimmer

This is my sad love affair with the ocean!

you only seem to love me
when you're down.
an open wound can shape
the way you feel;
just like you never want me
when i'm here,
just like you always need me
when i'm not around.

but if you think i'll run to you,
you're wrong.
a heart that's broken once
needs time to heal;
you never say you're sorry
when i'm here,
you only seem to love me
when i'm gone.

Sometimes I wonder
If thieves plunder
Just to be wanted
To be chased and haunted
For the alternative is worse
Unwanted is the true curse

Time has given up on me
And so has gravity,
As I stray through
Barriers of now and then.
Floating through past,
                               present,
                               future
Never settling anywhere
A stranger even in
Memories of my own
Don’t mind me, I’m
Just visiting
Just passing through

I’ll be gone soon.

It started outta curiosity
I started with one
Then doubled to 2
Then further doubled to 4
Then tripled to 12
Before I knew it I was puffing 20 a day
A drag here
A drag there
Waking up
Before going to bed
Before going to work
When taking a break during work
After coming home from work
After ***
When frustrated angry happy or high
Sometimes with alcohol and drugs
Sometimes in isolation
Sometimes with colleagues
Till I had felt a cigarette on my lips
I felt as if my day wasn't complete
But gradually the smoking started to take it's toll
My lips turned black
My lungs literally gave up
I was coughing
I was panting all the time
Couldn't think clearly
I would be irritated all the time
I lost friends 'coz of my rude behavior
My family isolated me
I was a nuisance at home
My hands would tremble
My body in a constant state of confusion
I had to visit visit the hospital several times
That's when I finally woke up
and realized that I needed to cut back a bit
It wasn't easy... Trust me
From chewing nicotine flavoured gums
To attending seminars on addiction
Joining rehab groups to yoga and then Finally to writing...
Today I'm down to 0 cigarettes a day.. Writing.. This is where I got my refuge... My sense of comfort and safety... Writing became a therapuetic process for me
It dragged me outta the abyss and showed me a light of hope and ressurection
Today after years of being a non smoker I appreciate writing even more