You died two years ago,
when she left.
Yea you're still walking but you're just a corpse with a heartbeat and you know it.
You're trapped.
She never bothered to release the restraints she placed on you so you stay shackled by misery in a room guarded by lonliness.
You sit as your heart tears at itself while your brain stands watching in callous disinterest.
Sure,
you breathe,
but each inhale leaves only the feeling of drowning without the sweet escape of death.
You beg the reaper to take you, he says he wants to see how this all plays out.
He's never seen a man eat his own heart.
Everyone else insists you must keep going but,
they don't know what you know.
They don't know you died
two years ago,
when she left.

An excruciating feeling,
What we regret usually is what we can not undo,
But instead of regretting,why not learn from that and move on to other things?
**Regret only eats you up,
It haunts you until you're done and out and left hopeless.
Regret never leaves you alone,
Its something you have to throw out!

I smoke like a chimney
   my ashtray fills up
   like never before

I smoke like a chimney
   to fill the void
   that surrounds me
   with your absence

I smoke like a chimney
   and refuse
   to see my hopes evaporate
   like the fumes
   I inhale & exhale

I smoke like a chimney
   burning myself out
   draft by blue draft

I smoke like a chimney
   knowing I should not
   measure out
   my days & nights
   in cigarettes

   yet I do
   four   five minutes more
   time is running so fast

I smoke like a chimney

I am smoking for my life

Just write about writing about having nothing to write about.

The floor beneath me crumbles away.
The picture that you've drawn dissolves.
I used to take the words you said to me on faith.
My sacrilege was in knowing,
But loving you this long.

The sparkles in your eyes ignite me;
Reflections of your teary eyes.
You can take the words I say on faith.
Enough now of this heresy.
I've loved you for too long.

What was a singularity
Began to walk in single file.
Now agents of your faithless heart
Fall to the heaping pile.

You came to me as someone
I would give my life to serve

But the way that you are now
Means my whole world has changed
I don't know
If it's better or it's worse
I only know
That it's real.

Your regal words designed a world
That was fitting to my foolish heart.
I thought that you worked magic but it was illusion.
My blasphemy was in knowing
And still loving you this long.

The tender nature of your lie enticed me.
I put my faith in it.
I gave my life to you.
I gave, gave you all,
My all is true;
And lie is all you do
My blasphemy was seeing it,
And letting it continue.

At first it was a trickle,
But it became a stream.
Now the riverbanks erode,
Washed out in your flood.

You came to me as someone
I would give my life to serve

But the way that you are now
Means my whole world has changed
I don't know
If it's better or it's worse
I only know
That it's real

Not just a lie,
Not just a scheme,
It is exactly as it seems.

I don't know
If it's better or it's worse.
I only know
That it's real.

Here on this street, you try talk to me;
I don't want to hear it,
There is nothing more you have for me.
Watch me get smaller down the street,
So I don't have to hear
Another word of your fantasy.

A broken heart can love,
A broken heart survived,
A broken heart still beats,
A broken hearts pieces yearn to be picked up and put back together,
A broken heart was once whole,
A broken heart still supplies blood to the body,
A broken heart is not to be forsaken for;
A broken heart is as beautiful and as functional as one that is whole except
A broken heart has known brokenness.