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 2h
Nosy
To romanticize a life
That never was and never has
A life unlived but loved
Lies wrapped in fantasies

Suddenly walking the street
Softly, calmly, a normal speed
Why is it every time I dream,
I get interrupted by the sound

Of an interior not designed
An exterior not built for the light
A romantic life, but never mine.
 1d
Nosy
Curtains half closed
Maybe half open
Dependent on the look
Of the environment

It never happened quiet
Just as a thunderstorm
Trying to be a breeze
You made me feel

A bulb flashing light
Powering with full might
Why is it always a maybe
Or a could've or should've

But never a genuine "would've"
Torn within the darkness of the light
The last breath before a time
Tainted red-

You wished, you prayed
But really never fixed the light
That wasn't at a regular volt
Just a overworked circuit

When all I wanted was peace.
 4d
Nosy
I read it twice, I still didn’t get it
I did not receive the message
I couldn’t understand the meaning

You poured in your heart
And I left it, torn apart
Because some things don’t resonate
Until it’s once again too late

And you made up your mind
While I stayed behind

Always too slow to make up my mind
Staring at the lines once more,
They look back like a locked door,
I tried knocking, but not sure what for.

Poems are like puzzles in crypts
You write in metaphors
And I respond too literally

And interstellar that didn’t align
A story written that wasn’t mine

And now there’s just silence,
Where insight should have been.
I held something breakable And didn’t feel it within.
 4d
Nosy
The day of my release
I walked the streets
Seeing the sky and the grass under my feet
It was weird, I was free
But not free from my memories-
They flee,

The people I once knew,
Can't look me in the eye
They know what I did,
But so do I, because everyday I relive-
All the things that haunt me

Every day's a clock, with no hands
Each minute strikes the soul like a match
How am I supposed to relive-
Relearn to live

The cars and the people
The dog on the corner,
He barks like crazy
But nothing will be as crazy as the thought
Maybe I want to go back to-
What was once my living doom

I was told to get a job
But right now crossing the street-
Feels like my head will pop
All the honks and the shouts
Who knew the world could be so loud

In confinement it was quiet
Because a noise too loud,
Could trigger a guard,
Beating us until,
the lights went out-

Showers and meals were on a schedule,
Now I have to decide for myself
And still I manage
I cross the street-
Not trying to vanish-
In my internal defeat.
 6d
Nosy
My thoughts never
get tired of me
They feel the winter
While I live the summer

I never get to have a chance
A certainty meant to last
A love undone of the past
Four wheels on pavement so fast

Not to be stopped or taken
Just to be lived and laughed
 Jul 14
Nosy
I toss, I turn.
My blankets—too warm,
then too cold,
like storms across my skin.
My thoughts go.

Never silence—
just a pain burning behind my eyes,
a mind wired
to a clock not built
for this reality.

I get up and circle my room,
Sit down, play a tune,
Write my ghosts onto paper,
Reshape my pillow.

A breeze,
a hum,
a passing car—
all rise like ghosts,
but none loud enough
to drown the ones in my head.

“Please be quiet,”
I whisper to my mind.
But instead,
it grins and says:

“Remember what you did 10 years ago?”
“Wasn’t that moment strange? Embarrassing? Wrong?”

I give no reaction.
I’ve learned:
engagement feeds them.
So I lie there,
Handing off insane,
hoping the ceiling swallows me whole
And take away my pain.

I cannot shut off—
not until I’m lowered, into a silence
Surrounded by the mournful,
deep enough to dull the thoughts,
until I’m sealed away
and my mind finally softens.
 Jul 13
Nosy
Today I woke up
Birds chirping
Frogs screeching

The sunshine dawning down on me
Not a raindrop in sight
Will today be a good day?
Who knows really
All I can do is try my best today

The air feels soft-
A little breeze
The coffee is hot-
Good enough for me

The machine rattles as the beans-
Get crushed up with the water,
How lovely to see

Shoes waiting patiently to be worn
Not today I've sworn
I'll take it easy for a day
And make the most of it-
Today.
An easy day.
 Jul 12
Nosy
Beneath now lives, what once was
Maybe not was, just never been
It was a fire, lit
A passion, lived

Now to be buried beneath the sand
Boiling land, unreached by hand
It burns to the core,
Once I wanted, now no more

The earth would have to crack
From lightning or thunder
Not from rage,
But remembrance.

Within the nature of things
You can perhaps hear a beat
Your heart, skipping
With the silence, once lived.
 Jul 9
Nosy
I've been burned many times in my life
From a stove, a fire,
A lighter or a match,
A candle or its wax

Even just from food—  
A drink taken too soon  
Scalded my tongue—  
Now nothing tastes the same.

My feelings, too,
Laid bare like a muscle,
Pulled from within,
Blazed,
With a flame,
That burned what couldn't last.

And the only way to teach  
That fire is hot  
Is to let someone  
Touch it,
Because will  
Can’t be stopped.

,

"I told you it was hot,
But you had to see for yourself,
Now you have that ugly mark"

You reached for the comfort—  
But it shattered like delph.
Now cold water
Is all that listens.

But no water calms the ache
Rising from the burn,
Already blooming-
On your hand.

Because wonder outweighed warning—  
You had to know the flame.
 Jul 9
Nosy
Lunch breaks, school plays
Why you had me as the fool played?
I loved you, but I can't stay.
 Jul 8
Nosy
She never comments.
Never signs her name on my board.
She just sits quietly in my silence,
gathering something that once gathered me.

Now I find myself
hanging in her gallery of words—
a whisper, reposted,
a breeze tucked between stanzas.

Each hush she curates
feels like a fragment of heartbreak,
a delicate recollection
made sacred in its echo.
A quick poem in ode to the one reposting my art.
 Jul 7
Nosy
When you rise, you already know:  
The lab waits, stale and still.  
Same floor, dirt, same click of keys—  
A day measured in dust, not thrill.

Forty hours, earned and owed.  
The hands of clocks don’t tick—they tap.  
Each second held like lab samples—  
Precise, but hollow, neatly stacked.  
You know the price.  
Wear your coat, neat and white.  
Glasses on, hair tied tight.

I check the time,  
Just to be met with nothing new.  
Lunch breaks stretch—too slow, too long—  
Like the day itself drains the soul.

That awful smell,  
Heating samples to a hiss.  
The heat rolls out—  
Burns your limbs, once blissfully unaware.

You finish early. Precision wins—  
But time is a master, not a guide.  
They won't send you home for clarity—  
They only need your hours, not your pride.

The dirt beneath the microscope  
Is cleaner than this worn routine.  
What once was physics, full of light,  
Now quantifies what might have been.

You didn’t light my passion—  
I burned it to the ground.  
Taught me nothing new,  
Expanded only knowledge of life:  
Forty hours a week—  
A dead-end job.

You know the steps before you move.  
Your badge, your desk, your shift, your face.  
You could draw it blind, dream it still—  
Each breath a brace for empty space.

You cry on days you can't explain.  
Too much knowing breaks the soul.  
Routine is a cruel scientist—  
It tests your limits. Marks its toll.

But still, you rise. And still, you go—  
Not for the thrill, but for control.  
If chaos is the only other path,  
Then monotony feels like parole.

I left the lab, but left much more.  
A spark once lit by force and flight  
Now physics haunts, not holds me close—  
A love I lost to measured light.  
Not every passion finds its path,  
But some still shine from deep within.
What killed my love for physics.
 Jul 5
Nosy
When you sit with your thoughts
Your feelings get lost,
Perhaps bottled up
Far from the world’ reach

But even for you
It’s too far to see
You ask yourself
“How much can stay-
Besides of me?”

The answer shall come
Soon enough
Because the moment you lay-
Wide awake,
You’ll feel those feelings
Like a heavy weight.
When you think you can carry the weight of your feelings all by yourself, to the point you bottle them into your core.

— The End —