I want you to lie to me.
            I want you to tell me that in your dreams
                                you wear an ugly polo and khaki pants.
                                         And that you LOVE tucking your shirt in.

I want you to tell me that flipping burgers
                                is a step in the door to reaching your life-long goals.
                                                    

I want you to get on your hands and knees.
   I want you to beg.
      I want you to plead.

I want you to say you'll never be as successful as me.

I want you to accept you'll never be free.
                  
THEN.
               MAYBE.

*You'll earn the right to make minimum wage.

It is only a matter of time before they realize,
                  this world has been destroyed by land development and population size.

And they will look for cratered pastures.

Because the moon is so beautiful this time of night,
                      and a mansion would look so elegant in that light.

So they will fly their luxury shuttles
                  to the dream homes in bubbles.

And leave us in this dump they left behind.

But what they don't know, is when they make their depart,
                                                the music here on Earth will start.

So fly to your Moon Mansion and leave us to rot.
                                    *We know a beautiful life cannot be bought.

I lent you dog-earred Bukowski,
                           you returned it unread.

Empty,
Desperate,
Gasping for air.
Unable to eat, sleep, think.
Bleeding and bruised.
Crying out,
Giving in.

Full,
Complete,
Breathing deeply, comfortably.
Functioning, living.
Healing body, mind, soul.
Laughing,
Moving on.

Lost,
Needing you,
Weights crushing my chest.
Held down, imprisoned, paralyzed.
Hurting, through and through.
Giving up,
Shutting down.

I tell myself its over.
That in a few months it won’t matter,
That this physical distance could somehow cure my pain.

But you hold me close.
Whisper empty words in my ear,
Use me once again to fulfill your lustful desires.

Then I’m invisible.
Breaking promises is your game,
Toss me aside to make room for the next player.

Now my heart is stone.
Numb to all feeling is my façade.
No one will ever damage me quite like you.

You’re perfectly built.
Tall and sturdy.
Light perspiration drips down your body
You catch my eye.
You are cold to the touch,
They have already labeled you,
And warned me.
But I see right through it all,
Ignore my screaming conscious
I approach you anyways.
Your taste is harsh
And I gasp for breathe.
But one little taste and I’m hooked.
The more I have, the more I want.
The more I have, the more intoxicated I become.
For now, all my worries and regrets are forgotten.
All night I’ll be in your control.
Morality isn’t an issue anymore.

...I'm standing on a hill that feels taller than any mountain there is. The wind flowing through my hair. My white night gown is replaced by a shimmery yellow sun dress. I cast out my view deep into the horizon, blue and green colors dancing and mixing everywhere. The sun light shimmers off the vast oceans flowing farther than my eye can see. I try to take a step forward but the feeling comes back to my feet and i remember that i have no shoes. The hill is steep and rocky and I'm wishing i had my new climbing sneakers. I'm looking down and planning my steps to get down with as little damage as possible. There are enough flat dents almost designed for a way down. I step forward once more and suddenly i feel I'm dreaming, and my new sneakers appear. All at once i understand where i am, why I am here and my abilities. In this beautiful perfect dimension i able to have anything i wish in an instant. Half way down the hill i try something. I think of landing at the bottom next to a long flowing river. i hold on to the rocks and close my eyes. Before i know it i feel something sturdy beneath me and I am staring at a vast sparkling river. There's a stone path leading to the warm sand and crystal clear waters. Next while laying in the sand i wish for the most impossible thing that could happen. I look over and i see my father in a white suit walking toward me. How did i get the gift to come to heaven?