I woke up this morning feeling peaceful
For the first time in years
Not anxiety, no trembling tears

No memories haunting me from the past
I wonder if this feeling will finally last

I’ve been through a great deal
Of sorry and pain
Darkness I never want to repeat again

I’ve done my sentence
I’ve paid my dues
I’ve given up the drugs and deadly *****

It’s time to live, start new and fresh
I’ve lost a plenty of years, I’m now ready for the best

Every time another line
cuts into
one more
Palestine,
we all bleed.

Brick by brick, we wall men in
and the sickness is,
without a doubt,
the same bricks wall
the same men out.

DEDICATED TO THE FAT HIDEOUS BETTY, MY NEIGHBOUR

*Does anyone here know of a good mohel?
As I urgently need someone to circumcise
My neighbour's Yorkshire terrier, canine boil
Needing lancing, joybringing to my eyes.
A kindly mohel simply will not do;
He must lack scruple and human pity;
That hound’s not been bathed for a year or two
So th'event might turn out a bit ******.
Yorkshire terriers are of two classes:
The insistent yapping ones we all hate
And the ***** ones with hairy arses;
But both look good nailed to your garden gate.
And he needn't be a mohel either,
Merely someone with a willing cleaver.

Please don't cage me up, Ive got a million things to say
You and I felt the same when we broke it down that day
Let's keep it real and sometimes fragile your lips would tremble the words   I probably paid no attention because to me you were frugal and absurd.
Wanna share this bowl of cherries with me babes, No,Ive got no time for u
Have these reports, chores and school work to finish, gdamn where were you.
It's really getting cold in here baby can you feel the chill in the air
Not really sweets she said to me as her exotic curves grazed the chair
Where were you when I needed you when I cried out for you in fright
I'm not to sure what mean honey you know I was with you last night
You know to come to think of it, it is getting cold in here                   especially when you prefer other naked bodies shivering wet with fear
It's like this coil of rope that I have so I can more thoroughly reflect
but now I understand more fully it was put here for my neck
You don't ******* need me and you sure as hell don't care, whether I live or die tomorrow as long as you brush your hair.
So I live these last moments for you and the dreams I had for us and the self pity and gluttony can now be over and you can finish the trust.

Mammy vacuumed
So the grandkids
Could play.
The kids have grown,
Mammy left,
Just the other day.

Heaven reaches upon me, wanting to lift my life of heavy burdens
A life of victimless crimes, that are hidden behind my curtains
Curtains closed so tightly, that God is the only one able to see

I only punish myself, through the action of self created hurt
Hurt that I cannot hide, which keeps me trapped within myself
Contemplating my life to break through this barrier, leads to confusion

Trying understand, if I brought this upon myself, why can't I change it
When I come to my own reasoning my thoughts then become delusional
I try to turn to God only to get angry at him, to ask why do you punish me

Afraid of my own thoughts, afraid of life, and afraid of death
I only find myself caught in a vicious circle of destruction