I watch the blade pierce my skin, yet I feel nothing

Pearls of blood gather in the seams of the wound

An errant thumb smears across the coppery beads of life

Staining the subtle, spidered paths of my palms

I lack the courage to push deeper

I try not to curse the steel as I feel my hand shaking

A crooked "T" forms out of the scar tissue

An odd accompaniment to the fading india ink smiley face I so proudly engraved at 12

The angry pink flesh of my grief cries out for recognition

With a pasty blue grin, the naivety of my youth only mocks this unspeakable pain

Tears fall quietly down my face as I prepare for another wave of pretending...

Another wave of forgetting
   Of regretting...
      Of blood letting.

dark, dimented, and twisted
i watch you walk past my door
you ignore my cries for help
you see me lying on the floor
stabbed through the heart
my blood spreading fast
pulse slowing, barely alive
not much longer shall i last
you tried to tell me i'd be fine
that i'd survive without you
and like the fool i am
i fell for all your lies
there once was a time
when we were in love
you were my everything
my soul mate from above
all i wanted was to be in your arms
just to feel warm and safe
your kiss was my drug
and how your tongue would always trace
every line and imperfection
so soft but so sure
the way you'd whisper in my ear
with words so beautiful and pure
but none of that matters now
as i lay here and cry
because you broke me unexpectedly
and left me stuck here
just waiting to die

find the matches,
lite the candle,
meditate,
nothing,

turned the lights off,
tried again,
nothing,
closed my eyes,
tried again,
nothing,

Grab the candle,
hold it in both hands because Fire safety 101,
double check to make sure your water bottle is close by
(incase you can't handle the heat),*
be a boss and hold the flame with one hand,
now play with rubber bands, *
meditate  again,
nothing,

look to check if your water bottle is still there,
slide rubber band around the center,
Drink,
Try again for the heck of it,
Focus on the ******* flame,
nothing happens again,

breath in,
now breath out,

**** It,
you blew the candle out,
now your darkness fills the room,
**but u breath,
and u meditate,
and nothing is something,
and things work,
and u feel as if u lit the candle again,

You only call me when your drunk.
I think you might be crazy.
When you show up on my door around 3am or 4.
I have to work at 6.
So theres only a couple hours,
To **** and **** your ****.
Made you squirt a lot,
And i must say that was pretty ****** hot.
But now its off to work,
That really hit the spot.

Rip me limb from limb
In silence I will suffer
Absorbing the rending of flesh from bone
Happily
Thankfully
Repeatedly
So you suffer no more

Am I inclined to believe,
Or required to deceive
Another trick up my sleeve to make you pleased
With emotions I've presented you with
Contagious like disease
This love I'll infect you with
See how much I can give
See how much you can receive,
*I'll make you believe you can't deceive
What can see right through you

Some people say ******* is disgusting. **** 'em, I say.