Those sometimes
    those moments of time….
I’ve Had My Times.      

        I’ve had my times….
times of feeling loss, pain, hurt
   times of wanting to run, to leave
   to go far away where nobody knows me…
   there was a time when i was carefree, loving life
   and in one moment,
                      in one little moment, it was gone.
i’ve been beaten down, i’ve had my innocents ripped away
     [fifteen-year abusive marriage]       [***** at sixteen]
i’ve cried a river or maybe it’s been an ocean of tears….
           [pain consumed my life for many years]
i’ve felt the hand of death too many times
my soul has bled, my heart….. has known much pain
    i’ve looked through windows of dark blue
seen streaks of red…
                               pondered black holes…
                  have had days of staying in bed…  
sometimes i’ve wanted the world to just go
                                                         leave me behind
let me be, let me die….

BUT……  
I’ve had those moments of time when….
    
                               i’ve held new life in my hands
heard the beauty of a newborns cry
       i’ve seen the beauty of an ocean sunset
gazed wondrously at sea spirits’ dancing on the water
i’ve breathed deeply in the fresh mountain air
          felt the softness of a breeze
                like gentle fingers moving through my hair
           i’ve seen the old find new love
                  an amazing magical sight to see…
i’ve watched my children build beautiful lives
      not always perfect but, full of hopes and dreams.
i’ve learned to give through my pain
   i’ve seen and felt passion
            i’ve walked through fire
               and found true beauty on the other side.
   i look for beauty every day, even when it’s hard to do
i let love flow to every part me
                                                 giving the best to you.
  i let it consume me because falling into the depths
     of the demons of my past, would destroy
that part of my soul i have fought so hard to get back
to keep, so i let love, passion, and beauty consume me.
   And I Forever Will…..
                                          ~
              A sweet release we give our heart
                from pain of past that tore apart,
                    relief that only one can find
         when hearts we let, become unconfined
             to leave behind those stormy skies
                      letting self-love baptize…
                                         ~

Along time ago
    it was written
in the stars
    by the moon
and the wind
    of a love that
was meant to be…
    For many years
the stars held
    the promise
and the moon
    and wind
watched from afar.
    A love
written in the stars
    fated to be
A love
   of truth, purity
hope and faith
   A love
that stands firm
   casting even the
darkest shadows aside.
   For it was written
a very long time ago
   and no matter
the journeys of these
   two hearts past
this love was fated
   always meant to be.
Now*
   *the moon moves aside
and the stars part
   as the wind sings
a calling love song
   making way
for this fated love
   that was meant
to be, all along.
~

I suppose there has to be a reason
or at least a note
to mark that day--

He ate his breakfast
She let him out
He walked along the railing like the plank
defying death for pleasure
of his lady's company
to get his belly rubbed
sprawled long
across her lap

She released him
to chase the squirrels of his dreams
to his black cat adventures
to the aching green of life's
late summer ways

But, the days assemble against your return

May the angels find you quickly
my darling, Bailey
Dark beauty of coal
I was a Tuesday, bereft
You disappeared--
like the shadow of a whisper

Disappeared like hope--
in the last blow of day