Mummy,you're my plan B.
I wished you knew that.
I wish i could say it out to you.
But these words are sealed.

During my bad days, i look at you.
How your eyes sparkle.
Smile glitters.
All that is enough to make me -remind me- stronger than before.

Some days
I see how your eyes gets heavier.
Body gets weaker.
Hands get rougher.
But you never once complain.

Some days
I see you crumbling.
Like how dried breads turned into crumbs.
So allow me to pick up this pieces
and remold you.

Some days
I watch you shine
Like angel walking by or like sunshine after rain.
Those days you made me feel alive.

We don't share much.
In Fact
I don't share any of my problems to you.
But you know me like the back of your hand. Like a student remembering formulas.

Mummy, you're my plan B.
Cause no matter what happens
I'll always find my way to you.

The one who whom i look up to.
Catch me when i fall.
The one, I'm proud to call
"My wonder women".
Tearing steel door off its hinges.

Today feathers slipped from my mouth
Galaxies of bruises spread across my skin
And I became content with my body for a fleeting moment
But I can't tell you that.

Today someone cut my skin with scissor-sharp words
I felt the pressure of everything crushing me
And I aced a science test.
But I can't tell you that.

Today I realized that I feel like the only person in my universe
I missed the soft touch of your skin
And I felt sorry for myself
But I can't tell you that.

Today I tasted molten gold
Silver cascaded from the sky, similar to stars
And I wanted to kiss you
But I can't tell you that.

Today my fingers tapped the censored keys
I had an empty conversation with you
And I worried about our survival
But I can't tell you that.

I never forget to
look.
I always bet on
you being there
and lose.

By Spring cherry trees,
Breeze painted us in petals,
  .  .  .  Love rains from the sky.

The tumbled and tumbling
scatter their stone
to be swallowed by the earth.

Some mans hands arranged a home
stone on stone, upwards out the dirt
a shelter for wife and siblings.

A fire of peat lit up the hearth
where now no stories are told
No pipe is lit or bones warmed.

These testaments ride the winds
where no roof is found
no door to close against the world.

Loyalty is fleeting
Fragile to the touch
I’m scared of being
Trusted too much!

For I too am tempted
To seek new pasture
I’m not exempted
From greeding luster!

Old brew is fine
But thirsts this lip
To taste new wine
A forbidden sip!

So I ventured
As secretly willed
Tried adventure
On greener field!

But lo I returned
A hole in my heart
All fingers burned
Soul ripped apart!

Can’t hide from her
She knows it true
Healing my scar
Needs her old brew!

It hurt,
But only here and there with a spurt,
I never hear her footsteps,
And question if she's really gone,
Appearing ghost like when she first appears,
With musicless skin tones and melodramatic tears,
She shares her fears and wants,
Steals kisses with under the breathe taunts,
Then she walks away with no footsteps,
Months and years blur into a painting of a portrait that has changed painters with completely different ideals,
With each painter a random time,
As she returns,
With more scars that follow on her in painted burns,
Everything is new,
But the words have a different ring to them, everytime,
Taking more but leaving with less,
When she leaves I hear no footsteps,
It hurts a little.

I like the sound of the rain
washing away the silent day

And the lonely call
of a home-bound train

A mournful morning
kind of pain

....Give me the sound
of a blue bluejay

over the busy noise
that mocks my ways

I want to pack my bag
and fetch my dog

Whistle a tune
while we walk along...

Come on girl
It's starting to rain

I hear the sound
of the lonesome train

and the blue bluejay
calling my name

(Here's where yer sposed to whistle)