She feels my lips softly kiss upon
her skin, like butterflies soft and
gentle, she feels my breath like there
wings flowing all over her body.

My hands hard, but gentle upon
her, as she feels me envelope her,
I pull her close are skin touches
for a moment a connection that cant be
undone .

Kisses rise up her throat like a
beast I  have bitten her, but it
excites her as she knows no harm
will I do. Are lips mould to each other,
passion fires up stoked by the intensity
of this long kiss.

Breath becomes rapid, hearts beat
felt through each other, nearly as
one. I slip down your throat butterfly
kisses land and take off.

I undress you with my eyes, then with
my gentle touch, as like a petal they fall
to the floor crushed under foot.

I see the beauty which fulfils my
eyes, I climb up you, caressing
with finger tips and butterfly kisses
cascade over your body, as you arch
to the touch.

I embrace your bosoms hands *****,
fingers search every part of your silk
skin, as I lick the tips of your *******
I do gently bite as I **** them between
my lips.

My fingers skim across your chest,
downward to your ***. As I feel you
my fingers caress I feel in your movements
you want me and no one else.

My tongue teases your inner thigh, I
tease you as I look up and see ecstasy
in your eyes. I am buried in your ***, you
taste pure as my tongue finds the spot
that sends electric love though your spine.

I place my self into you, in motion we move
as one, to that place we need to be sweat droplets
of love, deep inside I feel you as we reach ******
and are eyes never leave each others gaze as two
are now one....

"I'm going to kiss you"
but the hands were already reaching for my throat
committed to misery
a year of asking to be choked
"I'm going to try to have *** with you"
but thats why I came to his bar
moral compass might have been against it
but the experiment had already come too far

It was awkward the first time
but I could tell how bad he wanted it
both drank too much
he was nervous--i was loving it
For no reason, I persisted
stayed in the lab for a year
for so long it was one sided
it was forcibly impersonal, a text and a beer

"Come with me to this"
but i knew i shouldn't
tagged along a few times
tried to stay objective--couldn't
I loved him then
****. no ***** to undo this
experiment ruined, cruel and casual
doomed, mediocre bliss

                        Then any eloquence ended. Science overcame reason in ways I thought impossible. He was consumed by insecurities and double standards and my revulsion only drew me deeper in. He left me once for being offended when he was outwardly rude to my friend. I cracked and was pulled back my arm in another bar--at least if he's this angry it means I'm having an effect, it's evolving. Didn't want to say the words but I begged for forgiveness.
                        He joked about ******* my friends; he recalled "girls" from his past. I tried to reciprocate and was met with the usual onslaught of hypocritical rage. I disdained this behavior but considered it a victory when it ebbed--I do not recognize what the past year has made me. I did all of this for something I was only ever capable of being half-vested in. When he screamed over me in public and the hands came reaching up for my neck again, I felt a comic guilt for first noticing it was a callback to when I first committed myself to this work. It was an escape that I manipulated into becoming a mad doctor's monster. I'd taken a repugnant mess and given it life, and was somehow mistress and mother. It hopped up off my table here. I spent the end of my days with my beloved abomination trying to save it from the townspeople.
                       Instead of saving anything, I killed us both, beautifully. Neither deserved love. I don't deserve anything, except the things I brought on myself. I can't eat or stop eating, I can't sleep or wake. I'm in constant pursuit of *** when any touch feels inherently wrong. I drink to feel worse to feel better and I watch the kind of **** that I swore to advocate against when I was a nineteen year old feminist. I don't even touch myself, because the smell of my own body isn't mine anymore. The curve of my hips isn't mine and neither is my done-up face. My monster's face is now anyone, though, and I'm much beyond the fear that nothing will be the same for me.

Where do I start and where should I end,
Its about the wife and her in-between bits,
If she knows this is wrote it will be my end.

She was tight down their is what I could
Say, like ******* a ****** each time, but
No blood unless its that time of the month
If you know what I'm saying.

Then came the kids one, two, three, four,
And what was once tight is now sorely lacking
Even echoes as I sneezed up their before.
I'm not small, seven inches of love meat
If know what I'm saying (WINK).

But when I  go to finger her bits, my hand
to my wrist sinks in, she moans with pleasure
Saying put more fingers in, doesn't she know
That my fist up to my wrist is in.

Then its time she is as wet as could be, she
sits on my lap and I feel water dripping off
My **** hair, she's like a tap dripping on me.

I moan, and she like's it, but I'm moaning
because I don't know if its in. I *** I am
Released, but what once stayed up, now
Doesn't even hit the walls, gravity takes
Over and it falls back on to me, no longer
Warm lands on my ***** and on me freezing
Soggy and cold.

What was once was pretty now looks like
Mashed meat. I love her but how can I tell
Her she now has a bucket, and I feel like a
Pebble in the grand canyon I love her but I
Will soon have to use my foot to **** it
Cutting my nails will she even feel it within....

Hello me,

I'm you. I'm the older you after multiple suicide attempts, and lost in a haze of ***** and drugs.  I am also you who sought and searched for some meaning and belonging, only to find hypocrisy and pain.  But all that aside, I wanted to thank you for not giving up on life even though you wanted to.  Finally asking for help when you did, even though a part of you didn't care anymore.  Thank you for letting hope grow in you one day at a time.  Thank you for letting me love you, so I can love me today.  Life is pretty amazing today, and we would have missed out on this beautiful journey because we were so locked in our pain. Now, you and I can share our story of pain and suffering to help someone else.  We don't have to stay in a hopeless state of mind and body.  Thank you for having the courage to surrender and admit you couldn't do it alone anymore.  I love you very much.

Love,

I'm You

Sorry for sticking it up your ***...

Sorry for making you scream...

Sorry for making your eyes run...

Sorry I didn't know you classed it as your forbidden thing...

Sorry I didn't know you'd think you've  sinned for having so much fun..

Sorry I didn't realise you were a ******* ***** nun...

I can feel him pulsing
from deep inside me, all down & up underneath

but, when I'm on top
I have my fun,
I grab his wrists,
kiss his neck just a little bit
his eyes roll back
breaks free of my grip, running down my ***
till he finds the sweet spot
& rubs me nice

mm.
now this is how I like it
he takes control
I lose my mind
lose my body
in our souls
intertwined.

                      I


                                               gasp


           & moan




                        baby, please don't stop,oh



his head
                           tips
                  back

                                                     his jaw goes
                                                                         slack


and

                         we both

                                              ******


                                                                as one.

                                                                                  xo

I crave the flesh to
see the light fade, to
look in to your eyes
to see the life once
there was life to turn
cold before my eyes.

I want power where there
is non, to consume you,
with the Fear of your
demise.

I have power to take, to
give life, I wish to control
not only you but the flickering
moment that is life.

I have no wish to do you
harm, I only wish to see that
spark to leave never be reignited
in your now soulless eyes.

Faint smells of him
stain my clothes
& now & then
whiffs of his
cologne
catch me off guard
& suddenly
my mind aches
to smell him
in my bed
on my body
to engulf myself
in him

I cant help it I play with it
all of the time, Its starting to
smell funny, but I just have
not got the time.

I get funny looks when I walk
about, people saying I smell
like a CHEESE BOARD what the
hell they on about.

I cant help it,  I have an idle hand
down the trousers it goes and
away plays my hand.

I woke up one morning and some
thing I could smell, my hand
still down there I sniffed my fingers
HOLY CRAP what is that  awful smell.

I asked my dog to sniff, he hide in the
corner whimpering , it cant be that bad
so I had another smell. Like mouldy
cheese with sweaty ***** was this
god awful smell.

It was worse than stilton, at least
you can eat that well, this would bring
a girl to tears and no girl would
touch my stick. It would fall off
from lack of use so wash it
and wash it well.