I breathe slow
My mind moves fast
My feet guiding my body
Pacing up and down
Back and forth
Like a metronome
My thoughts click
Faster
and
Faster
Until I hold my breath
And my head clears
Now absent of everything
An empty space
That was once overfilling
Like a clock
I reset
And start again

My love is like the ocean
Waves of it surge forward
Towards the shore
Pushing and pulling
I grow nearer and nearer
But every time
Right before I'm close enough
The moon pulls me back
I retreat
Deeper and deeper
Never quite reaching my goal

My body limp & unresponsive
I try to move it but I am so far
Watching from above
Clouds and a canopy of treetops divide us
Layers of sediment cover
Toes, fingers, *******
Buried and lost

I’ve dug two graves
For us my dear
There’s nothing more
For me to hear
Right here
Is where we’ll lay
All it cost me is my life
For eternity we will wait
It’s not much
Considering the stakes
With you I cross me heart
And hope to die
Without you I’m not alive
Together we will be
And that is all I see

How to find clarity
When staring into the void
Searching for answers
To the questions I avoid
Wandering lost
Like a man without eyes
Stumbling and falling
With no help from allies
But it’s hard to be lost
With no exit in mind
I care for the journey
Not what’s at the end that I’ll find
In love with the maze
All it’s walls and it’s turns
An end to the race
Is not of my concerns
For I don’t wish to be found
Discovered by all
All I want is to continue
My endless fall
Back into darkness
From which I came
Seen by none
Known by not even my name

I grow jealous of the wind
It picks you up off your feet
And flows through your hair

I envy the rain
It runs down your body
Getting closer to you than I ever will

The ocean mocks me
As it hugs you
Fully engulfing your body

I wish I had the moons eyes
So that I could watch over you at night
Sharing my warm glow

Instead I lie alone
Asking the stars
Why I wasn't enough

For no island's without her sea's
no peace is without its release
no heart's without her blood and doubt
no reason to live without
without love

When the seasons change
Will you change yours too
Will you lose your leaves
Or will you hold true
Will your limbs grow bare
And shed all color
Or will you keep your hair
And be my evergreen

30 dollars to crack a smile
maybe once a week
genuine or a habit of intoxication
matters not because its more than I've felt
in a week and a half passed
Always the hope of something more
and the disappointment in what is reality
Another hungover Sunday morning
ruined by the bark of a dog that isn't mine
The awakening not from sleep
but the dream of a life I do not own

I feel like a pistachio shell
With no nut inside
****

Im afraid of the love I keep
The fire inside of me
Burning to escape and be free
The embers are smoldering me
At night I lay awake
Holding  to the memories
Desperate to see your face
Afraid of what the morning brings
Careless enough to feel
Something that is really real
Tonight I sit and hold my breath
Tomorrow I’ll get over it
All along Ive always known
It’s your heart Ive wanted
This long drive I’ve followed
Will soon reap tomorrow
Until that time I’m suffering
Waiting for a promising
Will it ever come
Who’s to know
Except the ghosts and shadows