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Jul 2018 · 191
Untitled
cjesus Jul 2018
You are the shell
Of a girl I once knew
I no longer recognize
The words you speak
Or the way you move
Behind your eyes
I still see the old you
Trapped inside
Scared
Jul 2018 · 206
Memories lost
cjesus Jul 2018
I look at old photos of us
And rather than seeing myself
I see the emotion that I had
Get a taste of what I once felt
Feel the breath I once held
I wish I could take that moment back
And live there for an eternity
Reliving that time seems better
Than creating new memories now
Ever since I tasted your sweetness
All new experiences seem sour
I want to surround myself with happiness
But these pictures just won't do
So I must burn all traces of you
Photos are a good way to savor old memories, but can also hold you back, keep you stuck in those times even once they have passed. Sometimes you need to let go, and let the memory fade away.
Jul 2018 · 581
Callous Company
cjesus Jul 2018
It seems that
Everyone I meet
Has a hole
Beneath their breast
They walk around
And act complete
Despite lacking love
A gaping space
In the middle
Of their chests
I fill all
That I can
But can't complete
What they miss
Jun 2018 · 284
Lighthouse
cjesus Jun 2018
Your light
Shines in the night
My soul
Lost and so confused
You guide
Me from the dark
My savior
From past times demons
Your illumination
All I focus on
A safehaven
I can concede in
Your warmth
Pulls me towards you
Into light
Out of the dark
I owe
It all to you
Thank you
For waking me up
Thank you to the people that pull me from the depths of darkness and save me from myself. I owe everything to you.
Jun 2018 · 2.3k
XXX
cjesus Jun 2018
***
The sour grapes of death
Are brewed to make this wine
That God force feeds us

The taste is bitter
The color is dark
And the smell is rank

We may not be thirsty
Yet  he will pour
Filling us with despair

We will suffer
Drown in our agony
Be consumed by our torment

But come one day
We will see
It was all for the better
xxxtentacion was my idol. He taught me to express myself in a raw way I thought I never could. Today he was killed and I mourn for him. This is a tribute to X
Jun 2018 · 1.1k
Tea Party By The Gallows
cjesus Jun 2018
The discussion of politics occurs,
Over cups of lukewarm earl grey.
Obsidian tea occupies an ivory ***,
My hand stumbles and the sweet grains miss my drink.
They fall to the ground and scatter the rich soil below me,
Herbal notes are enough to distract me from my surroundings for the moment.
A thin shadow rests upon me,
Cast by the barren trees that forsake the living.
Clinking china rings in the air,
But is not enough to mask the sounds of suffocation.
I continue to pour my drink into my mouth,
As the rope around me neck beings to tighten.
This tea is too sweet I think to myself,
While my feet are lifted from the ground.
The cup drops from my hand,
and the cotton tablecloth is stained crimson.
Jun 2018 · 500
Surprise
cjesus Jun 2018
I bring you a gift
Wrapped in silk
A scarlet bow
Sits on top
With much glee
You open it
Inside lies my heart
Your face
Does not match
The reaction I expect
You pick it up
Examine it closely
Before dropping it
Stomping on it
You smirk at me
Laughing to yourself
Jun 2018 · 502
Memories
cjesus Jun 2018
Telling old stories
just to feel you
on my lips
once again
Jun 2018 · 204
I know
cjesus Jun 2018
My heart
Three sizes
Too big
Self control
I lack
I know

I give
too much
to those
who don't
deserve it
I know

Love is
Too limited
To waste
I should
Wait instead
I know
Jun 2018 · 208
Lost and Found
cjesus Jun 2018
My mind
A prison
My thoughts
The guards
My eyes
A window
To reality
Trapped inside
Seeking escape
Keys lost
Years pass
Without change
I will
Die here
Jun 2018 · 231
Something Like Love
cjesus Jun 2018
My hand
Your hand
Our hands

My lip
Your lip
Our lips

My body
Your body
Our body

My heart
Your heart
Not our heart
Theres a line between lust and love and sometimes its so thin you can't see it until it's too late.
Jun 2018 · 192
Letting Go
cjesus Jun 2018
The love is lost
The air gone stale
What is the cost
Another relationship fail
I say goodbye to you
And walk out your life
My eyes filled with blue
You could have been my wife
Jun 2018 · 183
Lost Love
cjesus Jun 2018
Stale air
Broken hearts
Left alone
Did you
Ever care?
Jun 2018 · 194
Folgers
cjesus Jun 2018
Crusty eyes and shaggy hair,
A pristine beige mug waits to be filled.
Steaming hot brown liquid drips,
The sweet aroma of coffee fills the room.
Your eyes reflect the same brown that my cup holds,
Your teeth glisten whiter than the sugar that my spoon pours,
Your lips sweeter than the drink I put to my mouth.
Waking up next to you is a dream come true,
You are my folgers in the morning.
Jun 2018 · 175
Sinking
cjesus Jun 2018
The sun reflects off of your perfect teeth.
Your smile sends shivers down my spine,
Your lips raise goosebumps along my arm.
Your eyes capture my full attention,
They speak to me so loudly I cannot hear
the words that come from your mouth.
I get lost admiring every freckle and mark on your face.
Your nose calls my name and your ears smile at me.
When I’m with you I am blind to the rest of the world,
I am deaf to all but you,
Your voice the only I hear.
Your scent the only I smell.
You let out a laugh and I want to cry,
You sneeze and I want to die.
You blink and I must make myself  look away.
Every muscle you move drives me deeper in love.
I am sinking into you,
Like quicksand you consume me until
the thought of you is all that surrounds me.
Jun 2018 · 224
She'll Lie
cjesus Jun 2018
We sit on the bow of the boat,
The sun glares down on us,
Your skin reflects it’s warmth.
I hand you a smooth shell I found,
We admire its beauty together.
Its round edges and pearlescent body,
You say that you could stare at it forever,
But then you turn to the sea and throw the shell.
I ask you why,
And you reply that its beauty is only temporary.
At first I take your word for fact,
But after contemplation I realize I disagree.
So I dive into the water and chase after the shell,
Not yet ready to give up on it,
Understanding its value.
When I bring it back to the boat,
I smile at you and plead you to enjoy its allure for the moment.
You agree and curl up next to me,
And we resume our admiration.
But not long after you take the shell from my hand,
Again you turn to the ocean and release the shell.
I look at you with a blank face,
Confused by your indecisiveness.
You explain that you never thought the shell was beautiful.
Once more I dive into the water,
No not to retrieve the shell this time,
Instead I swim to escape you.

— The End —