there is no safe place
i've been around the world
there is none
all i see are wars and terrorism
****** prejudice, wrath and rage
there is no safe place
that is an illusionary imagery
because we like to believe
we're safe and sane
we all are not
we are naturally born animals
born to survive,
will steal and **** if we must
we all are kings and slaves
of ourselves at the same time
there is no safe place
anyone can harm you,
avenge for yourself
no one else would do

I ain't afraid of the dark anymore
I ain't afraid of horrible loneliness
You know what I'm afraid of?
You and you and you
All of you.

You didn't even see it?
You disguise care as salt to my bleeding wounds
No one understand it at all
The more you come close,
The more it's getting crowded for me
My neck, my whole body, I am strangled
I can't breathe!

Every time you speak
You blow up a big paranoia in my head
Your bullets are betrayals
Your daggers are false hopes
You are already killing me

All of you.

still confused why sleeping hours
was dubbed as rest
and why do falling asleep
is just as scary as jumping on a dangerous cliff
how will I ever be at rest
whenever I lie down on my anxiety bed
all I feel is the burden of being pressed
through my mind and flesh,
weary, bothered and stressed
I was never at rest

Be freed
O' my wandering soul
Loosen those ropes,
Unpack and unload

The bridges won't fall
Don't be scared to step in
Your weight is not heavy
You're not who you think you are, definitely not what they think you are

You can go miles after miles
Forests after roads
Rivers after mountains
Paradise after deserts

Barefoot, but you won't get weary
Won't get thirsty nor hungry
It's time for you to be happy
You will rendezvous with serenity

Be freed
O' my wandering soul

My overthinking surpasses honesty
My anxiety and fears surpasses sincerity
I hope you do not grow tired of reminding me of serenity
-- like the old times, like before, like you always did
As I fix myself, I hope you are still there
I hope you will still hold my hand when I lost control of my mind
I hope you will still be a safe place for my destructive nightmares

And if time comes and you didn't,
Remember that I have truly loved you while I am hating myself.

I'm so down,
I'm so done
With no words in my paper
Only tear stains,
Only eye strains
And heart that is sober

It's been a year and a couple of months since we started talking. Who would've thought that it was you and me. Who would've thought that we are meant to be this inlove. I am more than glad to meet you and all the versions of you. You are always surprisingly amazing and lovely. If I could just express in words how deeply inlove I am with you, you would know better. I want you always. I love you always. I am forever grateful to have you. I am forever blessed to be with you and to be loved by you. It is your birthday today and I am the happiest to celebrate it with you. I am the happiest because I received a gift that is priceless and heaven-sent and that is you!

We will be celebrating more birthdays of ours together. We will cherish each moments and learn to love more from time to time. You are always in my prayers. Happy birthday, baby!


Sincerely,
Stephanie