I have a secret
That I want to share.
I want to tell you but we no longer speak.
My health got worse
And now I'm dying.
I'm going to leave this earth in six months
But I hope you'll remember me.
I know you have all the reason to hate me
But just know,
for the final time,
I love you.
And I'm sorry.
- C

My name is Christine Mary D'Agostino and I'm eighteen years old.
I'm young, yes, but I've been through a lot.

I've overcome depression and anorexia.
I've gained a deeper understanding of life and found meaning in it.
I found the love of my life even though we don't talk anymore.

My spirituality was gained and my fears lost.
I'm finally happy.
I got to meet my two nieces and the chances to appreciate them.

I get good grades and I'm passionate for dance.

I've lost friends but I've gained many.

I'm only eighteen but I've come a long way.
I'm only eighteen but my doctor said I'll be dead in six months.
I'm only eighteen but I hope you'll remember me.
My name is Christine Mary D'Agostino and I'm eighteen years old.

But it's also amazing.
Because I met him.
The first guy to ever meet my family.
The first guy to ever see me dance
for the final time.
It's surreal in a way,
but I don't want this feeling to ever leave my soul.
I'm happy,
and he makes me happier.
I admit,
he doesn't know a lot about me,
but that day will come.
And when it does,
I'll know if he's the one.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ruined everything.
I usually never wish to change my past
because I am a strong believer
that absolutely everything happens for a reason
and that everything is a lesson,
bad or good,
but,
this time,
part of me wishes that I could turn back time
and tell you how I feel.
How I truly feel.
Because I think I loved you this whole time.
And I don't know why I thought it would be fine to keep it all in.
O and C in my heart for as long as I live.
I'm sorry I love you.
<3

i deleted all of my poems.
they are all gone from here,
but saved on my computer.
because i know you read them
and that scares me
it scares me to know that you know everything about me.
i cant hide anything from you.
you know when im lying
you know when im sad
you know when im happy
because you read my poems
because you know my life
so now my outlet is gone
and my poems are deleted
from this website that let me once breathe.
but thats gone
because you read my poems
i know you do
did.
i know everything you say about me
and now, you know everything i think
thought.
because you read my poems

you know who you are
and you certainly know me