19 years of boring days,
19 years of tears,
19 years of things drastically falling apart and never making any sense,
that is 19 years of trying to figure things out, like my body, and who the heck am I?
19 years of loving any guy who dare speak to me,
and 19 years of heartache figuring out that they didn't love me back,
19 years of dreaming and reading and wondering,
19 years of thinking, about everything really,
About God, and life, and why in the world am I here,
and 19 years of drawing,
19 years of human pain, like that time I had to get surgery for a broken leg,
Then there is a ton of mental and emotional pain, like heart break,
And other ****,
19 years of loving my family and friends for being there in my desperate times of despair,
And 19 years of not realizing that they were there the whole entire time,
19 years of trying to find my unrealistic and perfect Mr. Darcy,
which of course does not exist, well to my knowledge at least,
19 years of crushes on all the wrong guys,
And 19 years of never acknowledging the prime and proper ones who were gonna treat me right,
19 years of having to schoolwork, and now in college its more work then I have ever imagined,
And sometimes I just break down and cry because the stress of it all is depleting me of all my energy and time,
19 years of not knowing how to function around certain people, like at all sometimes,
And 19 years of having some of the greatest friends in the world to go out with on random nights to smoke hookah,
19 years of happy days,
And 19 years of having your heart ripped out of your chest and beaten on the side of the road until it can barely beat anymore,
19 years of having sucky days that make you want to jump off a cliff and **** yourself, or anybody at all really,
Like the first person you wake up in the morning and dares speak to you,
19 years of feeling tired, like every day,
19 years of eating delicious junk food, drinking water, laughing so hard I can't even breath, spilling coffee, talking so fast I forget what I am even saying and slipping up on everything.
19 years of foul plays and just really bad mistakes that you thought were gonna turn out good, but hit you really hard in the face,
So 19 birthdays to celebrate all these crazy and silly happenings that make me wanna go insane,
But I'm not so sure where I be without it all, without

Remember Me in the days of your youth
before the days of trouble come
and the time arrives when you will say
you don’t want to live
anymore.

When the sun and its light
and the moon and its stars
grow dark
and the clouds return after the rain;

                                                     I love you.

When the keepers tremble
and the strong ones fall
when fear reigns in the hearts of men
and those looking through the windows give up;

                                                     I love you.

When the doors are closed
and there’s no way out,
when morning dawns
but the birds’ songs fade;

                                I love you.

When mountains fall
into the heart of the sea
and its waters quake and foam
and the earth shakes with their surging,

                            I love you.

When danger lurks around every corner
and passions no longer burn
and you watch helplessly as the ones you love
make their beds in the blackest hole

                  I love you.

When the dust returns to where it came from,
and the spirit returns to the One who gave it
and your flesh fails you
and your sight grows dim
and all hope is lost
and there is no one there

Remember,
I love you.

The cold distance between two hearts,
Once beating simultaneously, in unison -
A small disconnection,
A simple malfunction,
Unforeseen miscommunication amidst unvanquished certainty -
Muzzled, tightened grip,
Cloaking an angst shell of a body,
Harvesting repressed emotions,
Alluring a passive tongue -
Releasing an outpour of an outcry in an outburst,
Retribution -
Freedom released from with-in,
Healing of a contorted soul...
Commence.

velvet melodies float lazily
from wood floors to vaulted ceilings
as you tell stories not just with your voice,
but with the tendons in your hands,
the curve of your lips,
and the wolf grey rounds of your eyes.

every word sends me spinning
into a place i've never been.
every letter, carefully dipped in honey,
sticks to my senses.

i am caught up in your goodness
like butterflies catch themselves on flower petals.
i am awestruck as baritone laughter rises into the air,
mingling with the scent of dust and dogwood trees.

and as the sun begins to lower itself into the river,
i realize that time means nothing
when the hands of the clock are entangled
in the dizzying twirl that is your presence.

we touch for a moment
and fate reminds me that sometimes
bodies collide and spark
the same way that stars do.