You know
The movies never show
What happens to the other person.
The person who gets left.
The person that your protagonist realizes
Wasn’t what he wanted after all.
They never show the destruction caused
The avalanche of hurt and self-deprecating thoughts and low self-esteem
That they become.
They never show how that person is left
Thinking they weren’t good enough
And they never will be.
The movies show you that leaving
Is ok.
That it’s fine to flip from person to person
From side to side
They don’t show you how to deal with it
When you’ve hurt someone
Possibly beyond repair.

I miss the times
When we had time.

You were always a point of interest.
Ever since the day you walked into the student lounge
When you were the only one I hadn't met.
I was always absorbed with other things

I tried to make time to get to know you.
Between band and classes and activities
And everything that was happening
I always felt like I was failing you

I couldn't pretend anymore.
I tried to push her away
And make room for you in my life.
Nothing ever worked

I couldn't take it anymore.
The stress got to me,
I ended with you.
I regretted it immediately.

I came crawling back.
Laced with a trail of Smarties,
I always wanted someone as smart as you.
Thank God you took me back.

I made it just in time for summer.
800 miles,
Twelve and a half hours.
The ultimate test

I had faith in us.
I had made my decision,
I was sticking with you.
Did you feel the same?

We made it through.
106 days apart,
Made up for with 144 days together.
It seems meant to be

We talk about the future.
But the future will forever be a dream
Unless I get my **** together.
I have always been a coward

We are perfect together.
I just need to tell them
That I'm not who they think I am.
I will always be afraid to tell them

I have made plans.
So many plans
For so many aspects.
I just need to tell them

I want to spend my life with you.
Dancing, cooking, researching,
Testing all the furniture in the store.
Just one thing left to do

I want to travel the world with you.
This trip has been wonderful,
But it hasn't been the same without you.
It is long past the time to tell them

You are the only thing that I want.
You can make everything go away
You make the world bearable.
You make me strong

I'm almost ready for it.
They need to know soon.
I will make it through.
Which rejection would be worse?

I love you.
You will always be the best thing
That I have ever had.
*Losing them would be worth keeping you

Notes, melodies, beats.
Words, thoughts, stress.
Directions, vocabulary
English, Italian.
Nonsensical, repetitive.
Over and over and over
I never know silence
Until I’m with her
I never realized how loud my head is
Until I wasn’t with her anymore.

Tutto quello che
vedo è il suo vi-                      
no tinto labbra.

Non so chi sia
più. Lo specchio deve ess-
ere disteso.

How,
In a life full of averages,
Are you so
Perfect

Absolutely and without a doubt she is the
Best thing that ever happened me. She strode
Casually and awkwardly into my life, in the process
Defining for me the until-then
Ever-changing parameters of what I wanted.

****, I can’t get out of my mind this blue eyed
Goddess of a girl who is always
Hoping for something more.
I love her so much and yet I have a habit of playing practical
Jokes to hide how much the distance is
Killing me.
Looking at us, you would never know we’ve spent
More months apart than we had together.

Never did I think that she would be The
One; that love would be so easy; that she would be so
Perfect.
Questions ricochet around the mazes of her mind, she examines the world extensively,
Riveting anyone who takes the time to listen to her discoveries.
Sassy, ****, and smart, she’s got everything and
To me she is everything.
Ubiquitous, there is nothing that doesn’t make me think of this girl, life itself serving as a constant
Validation that she exists- that she is not too good to be true.
While the earth rockets its way through space it’s as if
Xanthan gum holds us together, no matter how far apart you
Yank us, we’re stuck like glue. I could talk about her forever, literally
Zillions of words could be said about this wonder of a woman who will never cease to be
The alphabet spelling out the rhythm of my heart.