Radheshyam

ninety years
and hasn't won one transaction.

He has lost each and every dealing

failed business
lost job
broken family

down in everything

smiled upon only in mocking
looked upon only with pity
befriended only to be exploited

poor in maths
always ended up on the wrong side of measurement

fool in love
her woman bore the child of another

unskilled in societal ways
cursed by one and all

and to top it all
he wasn't clever enough to know
why it were so
he wanted to reach out to everyone
but none could reach out to him.

Radheshyam
named after god
but never someone's god

ninety years of being a loser
he doesn't feel.

The stray animals and birds love him much.

He feeds them,
they repay with love.

Crowd of skin flock for tan
with too many feet sands are pressed
a minion before the monstrous plan
the sea recedes waves are depressed.

Chairs are littered tents abound
through walls of flesh the sea is far
the beach is now a carnival ground
where noise holds fort and peace debarred.

I seek that place where the two of us
would hear the voice of deep solitude
walked in dream through melting hours
on a paradise now lost for good.

I tell my children the shades of hue
when the sea mirrored the colors of sky
till greed of men for more revenue
poisoned the beach drove her to die.

She shivers as he puts his hand on her forehead.

Ma, you have a fever, he says
and pulls up her blanket.

She closes her eyes to hold back tears.

it's your touch, son, her lips hardly move,
like rain on my arid heart, long awaited,

streams of films roll in her head,
the baby, skin of her skin, blood of her blood,
the umbilical cord never separated,
severed as the baby grew up,
a man of another woman,
the expanding distance
huddling all those cuddles into memories.

It's your touch, my son, it heals.

The son rises to call a doctor.

She knows she has no fever,
only pains of sweet memories.

He's my 3am thought,

tired eyes, blinking lights
cold breeze, dry lips
but it's worth it
if it's him

She's my 3am thought,

firm hands, dark room
heavy sighs, pale skin
but it's worth it
if it's her

Ice* cold
Like my soul
     Growing older than old
  Melting away
         As the days get hotter
Why bother with the same things
      When everything changes
          And I can't escape the heat
   Of my heart as it finally feels
                   *Defeat