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Veterans of war show off their scars
Telling their frightening tales of battle
The say " right here, in this very spot
Is where the age old bullet was shot"

But what about the others
The girls with troubling pasts
That haunt their every hour
They sit in the corner clad in black their expressions turned sour

And when the pieces of themselves
Come some what back together
Like the veterans they have scars
Only its from their emotional wars

To the eye their perfect plain and pretty
Another person in the crowd
Another nameless happy soul
No sees, no one helps, there is no one to console

Alone they fight their treacherous battle
Friendships lost, loved ones gone
And when it's done the world goes on
To as if nothing was ever wrong

And if that one is found alone
Crying in the corner
They all question what's the matter
Since scarless is her stature

No one questions
No one helps
She has nothing physical to show
Yet there are scars, only emotional, you know

No bandaid can fix the heart break
And the world doesn't know how
To unchain her from the repeating past
And forever it seems this will last
Please comment, I would really love to hear what you have to say about my poem or any interpretation you might have
 Oct 2014 Chris Shantel
Deanna
There is something about the twinkling in your eyes
as you smile
as you listen
to me say my useless words.

And I desperately want
to explain the rain
to that little twinkle.

And I desperately crave
feeling you
feel the spot behind my ear.

Because at 1:11 a.m.
the rain is pouring against
my window pane
and the sound of it
is happiness
in my soul.
And I consider
this summer
and I decide
I missed the rain.
I've found
one thing
I don't like about California.

And I see
your twinkle
from across 3000 miles.
But for what ever reason
I am incapable
of telling you
of reaching out.

3000 miles too many.
#m
I  am told that I apologize too frequently
And it's true, I'm sorry
I'm sorry for who I am, and
more importantly who I could be and should be but am not
If I could
I would
escape this body
This stomach
These thighs
These arms
This mind
This mouth
If I could
I would be tall and strong and proud
If I could
I would be athletic and healthy
I would enjoy running and jumping and forgetting
I would have games you could attend
And awards you could collect
And a GPA you could overlook
I would embody a daughter you could accept
If I could have a ***** I would
I would stop the disappointment before it began
I would be the mistake that was worth it
I would walk with my chin up
I would be funny and fearless
Everything that you think you are
I would be persuasive and charming
I would dribble a ball
or maybe even throw one
I would be accepting of your mistakes because it's likely I would repeat them
I wouldn't be so sensitive,
or so difficult to be around
I would be the son you have to tried so tirelessly to morph me into
If I could I would have a voice that I am unafraid to use
I would say what I want to say when I want to say it
And not worry about who hears or who cares
I would be honest and open
And not concern myself with privacy,
Tear this fleshy exterior and give my bones some air
Let my secrets and my past and my fears breathe
I would need you as much as you need me
Let you hug me and hold me and believe that everything will be alright, when it won't
If I could I would overlook all afflictions you have done and make you feel like my life has been unaffected by your mistakes
I would be strong and brass
I would be smarter and more leveled
If I could I would unravel and go unguarded to be poked and prodded
Just to  make you feel closer to me
If I could I would stop being so emotional
I would sow my tear ducts shut and hold my feelings about what you have done to me at my feet
so they never reach my tongue
If I could I would stop being so flawed
So freckled
and so fatty
So hairy
and so unhappy
So determined
and so disappointing
So opinionated
and so oppressed
If I could I would shed this skin and become the woman life and those who gave it to me want me to be
My wave of self hate comes in cycles
And today the tide is especially high
If I was sorry
For being a human being
I would
I apologize
 Oct 2014 Chris Shantel
Ramir
Prayer
 Oct 2014 Chris Shantel
Ramir
Come what may,
I  want you to stay..
I know you're hurting.
I know you're afraid.
But we are just learning.
Learning to love.

I wish you'd listen
Hear out my plead
I know you're sick
Your Heart is heavy.
In the simplest way I could
Let me share what you carry.

I pray you'd see through me
I badly do...
For I'm afraid to give my all
But so are you..
It was never our fault.
No one was to blame.
We've made our choices..
Split unevenly the pain....
What a shame, I knew we could have done better..
Mother!
.            I fumble to write this letter
.                            to you!
mother!
.           ink has frozen within me,
.                            so snow!
mother!
.           the room you left empty for infinite
.                             ****** life!
mother!
.           none is equal to you, O mother,
.                             others fake!
mother!
.           my morsels have turned bland,
.                             water thick!
mother!
.           life is spring at home here and you
.                               its blossoms!
mother!
.           I salute you for your unsurpassed care,
.                                sea-love!
Mother!
.           I will meet you in heaven, O mother,
.                                 my promise!
.
Notes (optional)
 Oct 2014 Chris Shantel
Kelsey
give me back
those two o clock's in the morning.
your warm mouth
the scent of whiskey in your lungs—
you speak,
everything is on fire,
and i have been wanting to burn with you.

you move under me
collecting stardust,
musing the inner stellar
planets
with your hot metal eyes
and they are looking at me
with all of their white hot
glow.

you see me,
quaking with a mouthful of stars,
kissing your hips
wishing we were somewhere more
explosive.

i never wanted to feel anyone
the way i feel you.
(c) 10-13-2014
The text message went like this:

Was thinking...
I'm so happy I’m married to you.

Said she.

You my Dear made me what I am today.  
Thank you. I am one happy guy.

Said he.

It resides on the phone as evidence
Of our life for forty seven years.
It has been on my mind abundantly
Of our love through the good times and tears.

We have held each other together
When our pieces began falling apart.
You have been my rock My Dear
From the moment we did start.

Cannot tell you enough My Dear
I am so grateful you are mine.
And I am yours forever My Dear
I will never, never, ever whine.

It has been said before:
*Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.


This was worth a big hug.
A very big smile.
Some tears. (expected)
and much more.
I have been wanting
to do this a very long time.
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