I would like to die
Not tonight, or tomorrow,
But now!

There. That's my poetry today.

I would like to order peace
But since it's unavailable
Perhaps a piece of poisoned dagger
To cut through my heart
Will suffice.

I would love to have joy
But since it's too expensive
Perhaps an overdose of pain
To battle my existing pain
Will siffice.

I am craving for love
But since she IS the source
Of my current distress
Perhaps loneliness will suffice
This HOPELESS, drenched, cursed being.

So I would love death
To be my therapy
In this harsh unforgiving world.

To just perish. Oh hopeless, poor, soul.
Just perish.

Self therapy. Sharing what goes into the mind of a depressed person. It took me a great deal of courage to share this.

Time: 7:12 pm. Dec 12.


At the end of the day, Chris, you're still alone.

And it's unfair to think otherwise. It's unfair to rely on another for comfort for they too are fighting battles. So embrace your cold state, learn to be numb. Shout if you must to silence the void and its deafening silence. For what is missing can only be replaced by that of which is the same, but you are not ready for that, your antidote to this poison is still on its way, so do your best to hold on for one more day.

Sleep. Try. Fail. Learn. Repeat. The wounds are opened. The wells are deep. The doors, shut.

Breathe. Don't give up yet. Don't think too much. Sleep, sleep,sleep.

Celebrate the day I was born
Celebrate the day I'll die
Celebrate the first time we met
Celebrate the first time we cried
For this is the fullness of life
Of things that are in store
Of memories forgotten
From a time long before
For I too shall cherish
Especially my memories of you
For through this we can consider
To live a life anew.

Writing is honesty cut open
It is the nakedness of a person
The depth of the time it was written
and the purity of crampled emotions

For without such,they would merely
Become words void...
And spaces null

the voices said
there's nothing like
waking up deep into the night
and not hearing any voices

and I believed them

I don't care anymore
Since this is the only language
My heart can truly speak
Since it seems like caring for you
Or caring for us
Only chockes your precious freedom.

You want me to change
Yet when I plea for you to do the same
You make me feel worse.

So I don't care if we crash
I don't care if you cheat
I don't care if you hurt

I will simply don't care.

In the midst of a silenced room
we embraced in the midnight gloom
where promises were covered
through a thick cloud of whispers

As your hands gently caressed
through my cheeks, lips, and hair
leading me to draw you closer
to my seated body so bare

"I will give love one more try"
I whispered in pain
"But if I fail again, I don't know what will happen to me."

Then you said:

"Stay with me, we will heal together."

...
...
...
...


For in the midst of a silenced room
we embraced in the midnight gloom
where our promises were renewed
in the hopes that love will bloom.