390 days of self talk isn't ****
when you have no self control
the way your hip bones stuck out still haunts me
i'm sorry things weren't perfect
the way they should've been
easter sunday was religious thanks to your
your hand on my waist for hours
"Adults can grow apart too."
We were barely adults.
infiltrating my dreams is not welcome
i wish you'd fully disappear instead of just physically
we'll be fine one day
but now we just have to live on
i hope you're happy

Dislocate me from existence
Put me with the stars
Far enough away to see the distance
Into darkness without reprieve
Under burned down trees
and their shadows

I do not need your voice to convince me of things
like worth
or the color of my blood
These things I am sure of
My heart writes me letters about these things

Forget about what we said we were
Remember I was alone in your company
Your words filled with hot air
Boiling your words
Evaporating anything permanent

Liberate our nerves from any feeling we might of shared
Untie my limbs
Stretching out the presence
Drenching my skin with freedom
Calming the gooseflesh upon my bones

The well in our chests hides secrets
Ones that your words never pulled
The well filled with tainted water
So I added whiskey
And liberated your grasp

I will forever forgive you
Blending business with pleasure
Drowning yourself in an empty well
Dragging feet into the desert
of our yesterdays choices

I dress and hold you
like a child
your pheromones intoxicating me
coughs
snores
gentle moans that require attention
bed shifting
the texture of the sheets subbing together
this is our symphony
I'm drunk off the scent of your hair and skin
artists created Gods in your image
shadows highlight your emaciation
static.
vibrato from sing-alongs
red wine and irish whiskey are bringing us together
and tearing us apart
we are both pilgrims
and
we are both savages
grabbing at my shirt like a little baby who needs his mommy
we sing to your body so
ceremoniously
nuzzling, rolling, blushing, adjusting
our souls require choas
clumsiness excused

Of course it was something strong,
The way we used to look at each-other
And laugh at the same time,
Kiss each-other
Slowly, furiously, hungry and angry...
The way i used to lay on his back,
The way he used to hold my hand,
And we keep laughing and laughing
Crying sometimes,
Crying most of the time
And we hug each-other
He dries my tears
I kiss his lips
And we laugh, sing, dance and dream
He gets jealous,
I get mad,
He goes crazy, I go crazy
He holds my hand,
Puts a ring in it
We laugh again
We cry again
It sure wasn't something in vain
The way he used to kiss my lips
the way i used to take off his shirt
And we make love to each-other
Slowly, furiously, hungry and angry...
The way he used to take my pictures
The way i used to love his pictures
The way we imagined the future
Us,
Together,
For good and bad
Us,
Forever..

Of course it was something strong,
Our promises, our happiness
Our memories,
Our songs, dances and dreams
Our games
Our love..
The way we stared at the stars
The way we contemplated the moon
The way he laughed at my jokes
The way we danced in the dark
And we grab each-other
Slowly, furiously, hungry and angry..

And he's gone
And I'm here
Alone...
He disappears
But not from my dreams
And life isn't the same without him
My hands are cold
My lips are cold
I cry again
I cry a lot
And all the sad songs were about him
And all the tragic stories were about me
And all it was left for me
Is wishing,
One day he comes back to me..

Of course it was something strong
The way i couldn't finish this poem
The way all the words in the world aren't enough
To express my feelings
Or to tell our story...

I want to drown in an ocean of every long embrace and kiss we've shared

And dry myself in that look in your eyes that makes me melt

If I need
To beg and plead
Act sad
And
Feel bad
About myself
To receive my love back
Keep it.
I don't ******* want it then.

we are two trees

lilts of speech
and
soft tapping tendrils played on
stringéd instruments
that is our water supply

intense lashéd eye contact
wrapping our long legs and aching arms around
each other's anatomy
that is our sunshine

heavy, breathy sighs
and long, slithering love-making
that is our photosynthesis

grow with me