I
just
want to
know that
if I died tonight
who would cry tomorrow
who would stand in the cold and
listen to the minister speak on my behalf
who would write letters to my parents, apologizing
who would leave bouquets of pretty flowers at my tombstone
who would stand tall, sturdy as stone and suffer in silence
who would morn for a day then go about their lives
who would see it in the obituaries and shrug
who would only notice after a month
or three or twelve or seventeen
how many strangers
wouldn't care?
I wonder.

i dread you,
i hate you,
i  loathe you so,
with 7 whole hours of hell,
why go?
all i know is,
that at 20 after 2,
i'll be as far away from you like the sun and the moon.

i noticed you back in the 6th grade,
your blue eyes,
your light brown hair,
your shy smile.
you don't think of me as i think of you,
you never will.
when i see you in the hallways i fell bliss,
i feel warmth,
i feel lust,
i feel lighted up.
you make me happy.