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 Mar 2012 Chelsea Anne Palmer
JLB
It is my conviction
That life began inside of a dimly lit corridor.
Not with a flash of brilliant light,
Inside of the creator's grand hall.
Not even in the decency of a simple room,
No.
It was an accident that happened when the Gods tripped over their robes,
Simply walking
On their way to the heavenly mess hall for coffee and a drag,
Shaking the proverbial gold dust off of their feet
So that it slipped through the cracks in the marble
And crystallized in random little patterns,
Wherever they happened to step.

Beauty, some are bold enough to call it.

And I'll find it on my face sometimes,
Those golden remnants,  
When the weather is warm and I've eaten a little less that day.
I will linger in my mirror to see where they've landed
As I whisper sweet nothings to myself,
Wishing I were worthy of these repercussions of
The Great Biochemical Accident.

But once in a while,
Someone will come along who tells me that I'm wrong.
Once in a while,
Somebody has enough gall,
Somebody has enough, call it grace,
To peel those golden freckles from my face,
And to hold them gently in their palm,
Perceiving them to be precious.
At an angle of ninety degrees,
two trees share the same plot.
This one grazes the eaves,
seeking vain attention in the window glass.

The other, its grey ghost lazes
prostrate on the herb garden, reveling
in secrets of lemon balsm and thyme.

At night, the first becomes demonic,
obliterates the universe,
branches scraping the pane, scratching
like fingernails on slate,
its coppery leaves trying to get in.

Its partner slinks to earth,
seeking solace,
wringing conterminous roots till sunrise.

I've had my fill of these unrested moments
fighting the pillow, not settling.
There is no joy in seeking stolen stars.

My dilemma grows horns.

I half dream of ******,
at least amputation.

But even the dimmest light shines in the dark -
I consider its tormented destiny.

At daybreak, like a ****** I scale its gnarled branches
ridiculously one-handed,
the other a keen-toothed weapon.

I am an agile goat shinning upwards
feeding on dreams of peace.

Lost in the sky, I become sap,
melt into its arms,
(a vertiginous release)
I become a curved branch.

(There's someone standing in my elbow!)

Leaves helix down, settling on autumn crocus.
“Look!  Gold on gold!"

The grey ghost yawns, grows its shadow,
waves its arms demanding justice.

I wave back.

Suddenly terrified, I secrete an invisible scent.
The branches contract, tense as ligaments.

My heart plummets, rolls out recumbent,
presses heavily on the earth
listening to fleshy roots recede.

A few deft cuts......

Sun gutters through bereft spaces,
striking the window.
Both trees a shade lighter, a lighter shade.

Tonight I will dream under visible stars,
feel the moon's half-light slide over me.



copyright © Caroline Grace 2012
A: Simple, they haven't happened yet.

*
Perhaps it's one of those days where the sun rises in the wrong place, and sets a little too soon.
Maybe it's another one of those nights when the moon is dim and your thoughts are too bright.
Where you're incapable of sleep and all you can do is write.
Where your thoughts go where they didn't miss traveling and where they're forced to stay the whole night.
I've always wished for better tomorrows.
And as grateful as I am that those tomorrows have arrived,
those tomorrows are now yesterdays and I find myself wishing once more.
I will blame it on my humanity, my susceptible thoughts, my big heart,
my weak legs, and my dampened skies and claim that tomorrow I will be stronger.
*As I always have.
My tear gorged head aches
with the thrashings of the day
misjudged and downcast emotions
re-saturate me with fury
disputes risen from a simple question
threaten my scar tissue sanity
that echoes my unseen thoughts.
But those who seek me
make use of the assumption
there is nothing else to look for
finally leaving me at peace
to exhaust even the time
with disordered reflections
of my tear gorged head.
Leafy-with-love banks and the green waters of the canal

Pouring redemption for me, that I do

The will of God, wallow in the habitual, the banal,

Grow with nature again as before I grew.

The bright stick trapped, the breeze adding a third

Party to the couple kissing on an old seat,

And a bird gathering materials for the nest for the Word

Eloquently new and abandoned to its delirious beat.

O unworn world enrapture me, encapture me in a web

Of fabulous grass and eternal voices by a beech,

Feed the gaping need of my senses, give me ad lib

To pray unselfconsciously with overflowing speech

For this soul needs to be honoured with a new dress woven

From green and blue things and arguments that cannot be proven.
There is a gentle thought that often springs
to life in me, because it speaks of you.
Its reasoning about love’s so sweet and true,
the heart is conquered, and accepts these things.
‘Who is this’ the mind enquires of the heart,
‘who comes here to ****** our intellect?
Is his power so great we must reject
every other intellectual art?
The heart replies ‘O, meditative mind
this is love’s messenger and newly sent
to bring me all Love’s words and desires.
His life, and all the strength that he can find,
from her sweet eyes are mercifully lent,
who feels compassion for our inner fires.’
'I slept, and dreamed that life was beauty;
I woke, and found that life was duty.
Was thy dream then a shadowy lie?
Toil on, sad heart, courageously,
And thou shall find thy dream to be
A noonday light and truth to thee.'
Written are some destinies
Boldly in the heavenly stars;
While some other cronies
Have theirs marred by earthly scars.
When you look at me,
can you  hear thunder when I talk
with eyes that watch you taste
a million waves of truth
whispering what I want?
Does it feel like rain
falls upon your heartbeat
like an old friend
and trusted confidant?

It has been said that nothing
can ever be
as elusive as one's thoughts
when you drink in their existence
inside your heart.
All your fears graze your memories
and you lose yourself
on the edge of not knowing
your remotest parts.

Do you treasure beautiful skies
when midnight sits
upon the bridge
that has hidden your lips
from my own
too many times?  
Or know that I can see you
growing weary
of the depth of feeling
embracing your heart
inside my rhymes?

There is nothing I could change
if I carried what I want
all alone.
So please forgive me
if you hear thunder when I talk
with eyes that feel like rain
upon your heartbeat,
know day after day,
the truth you taste,
is love's own.
The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle—
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea—
What are all these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?
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