Tear drops fall like rain
Contort your face, mask the pain
Silly of you to let your guard down
For a boy from out of town

Hours slide, days pass by
Heart on the sleeve, no reason to lie
To the boy who thinks you're a saint
Who makes your head spin and your heart faint

You took things a little too far
And you don't know how to handle this scar.
Patch it up and continue as if nothing's wrong.
But how can you when you've been kidding yourself for so long?

You saw something that was never there at all
And let yourself spiral into a deadly free fall
No harness, no safety net to speak of
Just waves and shouts from above

What's the matter, silly girl?
You're not for diamond or pearl,
Or did you forget?
You can't complain or regret

Now you know where you stand
All alone, fragile vessel in hand
But you should have known from the start
Looked the other way, and locked up your heart

Maybe it was true and he changed his mind
He knows where you are, so you're left behind
With a million questions and no reasons why
Just red eyes and wet cheeks to dry

Maybe you were right from the beginning
Born to lose, not destined for winning
All the fantasies you fabricate
All along knowing you're inadequate

Misread signals and signs
Twisting and turning all this time
So much for solace and hope
You just feel embarrassed, a big joke

Nothing can be the same
Now you're bared and shamed
But how can you turn your back
When it's your fault for the things you lack?

Silly girl, go back where you belong
Alone in the dark humming a soft song
To comfort yourself and fill the void
With something besides the deafening white noise

Close yourself up, lock up tight;
Sing and hum with all your might
Next time don't read, you'll only go blind
Stay tucked away in the recess of your mind.

A beacon of light,
A semblance of hope
Pitch black you wander,
You search and you *****.

There's a light in the dark
Just up ahead
Ready to help
And make sure you're fed.

Like a parasite
To a host
You steal the light
She becomes a memory, a ghost

Dulling her shine
Until she's a tiny flame
But it's her own fault, right?
No one else is to blame

Because that is her way,
The reason she's here;
To provide light in the dark
And beckon lost ones near

She shows them a way
A different way to go
Gaining nothing in return
No rewards to show.

There's a piece of her
In everyone she's met
They give her scars
So she'll never forget

And she'll keep getting hurt
Probably the same way twice
But lessons must be learned
And others' happiness will suffice

For she is strong
And can rebuild her light
Others aren't so lucky
And live in eternal night

The beacon of hope,
The light within
But don't let her fool you,
She's riddled with sin

She wants to be wanted
To not be so alone
To have someone to confide in,
Someone to call her own.

This man will add to her light
Not take it away
But she can't hide her heart
And patiently wait for the day

Patience is a virtue
But not one she can possess.
Keep letting the wrong ones in
Who couldn't care less.

Let them bring her down
Let them drink from her cup
She'll get back on her feet
And bring herself back up

And, in the end,
She will reach the top
And they'll gaze in wonder
To realize they missed their shot.

I've clawed my way up
Dug myself out
Rising above
Because that's what it's about.

So many twists
And so many turns
Life is what you make it
You get what you earn

Paths can be taken
Roads can be avoided
Choices will be made
And mistakes exploited

If you go all in
Be prepared for all out
Prepare for battle
And struggles with doubt

What if's and could be's
Are destroyers of life
And what you cling to
In moments of strife

Where do you go
When the rungs of your ladder break?
Do you fight to continue
Or give up what's at stake?

Where there's a will there's a way
There's no such thing as luck
Better think of a way
To get yourself unstuck

Think around the problem
Try to climb but fall
Close your eyes and relax
And listen to their call

There's nothing but light
And a deafening sound again
They tell you you're alright
And medicate the pain

But something more is going on
Something no one can fix
They think it's an excuse,
An old dog learning new tricks

No one can explain
Or pinpoint what's wrong
There's no comfort or escape
Just the murderous melody of a song

A destructive tune
That constantly plays
Growing and taunting
A little more each day

"You tried and you failed"
The evil notes jest
"You can't make it
Even if you try your best"

The voices sing on
Like a chorus in your head
Causing you to shrivel
And wish you were dead

The what if's and could be's
Come back and linger
And you can't ask for help
No one would lift a finger

Exhausted and exposed
You sit in the dark
Playing with pills
From thoughts previously sparked

Tired of thinking
You want your mind at rest
You try to fight but fail
Even though you try your best...

It was fun while it lasted
But there will never be more
Happiness is on the way
This is just a detour,

A roundabout way
To go through life,
Trial and error
Struggle and strife

You make mistakes,
Sometimes more than twice
You shun words of wisdom
And heed no advice.

Between your heart and your mind,
You know best what to chose
You move on impulse
Because you have nothing to lose

In the heat of the moment
The passion is there
But when the time passes
You're lonely and bare

Cold and defeated
Grasping for what's real
You find it in your heart
And allow it to heal

But reslestness creeps back
Into the depths of your soul
Like a ****** to a rush
Or a stipper to a pole

You slip back, relapse
You're so tired of being good
If only there was someway
To not be misunderstood

He appears but he's taken
You almost don't care
You've always followed rules
And done what was fair

What goes around comes around
You get what you give
But being pushed around
Is no way to live

Whatever the choice
You have to live with yourself
You can't run away
Or place guilt on a shelf

There's something missing
You just don't know what
Lock up your heart
And staple it shut.

Don't open up,
No one can get in
Continue to live your life
Riddled with sin

Nothing ventured,
Nothing gained
Everything lost
After you've strained

Nice girls finish last
Because they abide by rules
Kindness used against them,
Treated like fools

It doesn't matter
How a heart breaks
The winner takes it all
Whatever the stakes

The loser huddles
In the shadow of the victor
Battered and bruised
You couldn't feel sicker.

Life isn't all about
Take what you can get
Think of the cost
And what you'll live to regret

There's a price
For everything we say and do
Why not be honest
And do what's true to you.

Try to be nice
Try to be kind
Because in the end
There's one thing you'll find;

Relationships are key,
No matter how frayed
Hold loved ones close
Don't wish they had stayed

Say what's on your mind
Never hold back
Love with all your heart
And you'll get back on track

If you detour,
Don't stray for long
That path is for the weak
And you are far too strong.

Don't give up
And never give in
In the long run,
It is you who will win

With no regrets
And no remose
Your feet will swiftly
Follow the course

Of the life that has been
Given to you
And although you bite off
More than you can chew

Close your eyes
And walk by faith
And remind yourself
It's never too late

To right any wrongs
To do what's right
If you never see darkness,
You'll never know light

Lift up your head,
Stand tall and proud
Lufet up your voice
And sing  out loud

Life is what you make it,
So dance in the sun
And soon you will discover
That you have won.

Take a look at this artery.
It's an endless black hole,
There's no more love to give,
That's been paid in full.

Keep on scavenging.
Search for what's left
I'd like some back, too;
Recover some of the theft

Bit by bit
I was broken apart
Little by little
Giving pieces of my heart

To friends and others,
To people in need
They take what they can
And leave me to bleed.

Behind all the smiles,
The flowers, the butterflies
Hides a trembling figure.
No one cares if she dies

Because no one sees her,
The girl who's not so easily bought,
The one who has been beaten
By the girl with the hopeful thought

The happy me
The one everyone loves
Because the hidden one
Could never be enough.

But low and behold
The other is also true,
The one that you see,
She's inadequate, too.

Always discarded,
Lied to, betrayed
Left alone again
And more than a tad frayed

What can I do
To make someone want to stay
I offer everything I have
And give it all away

Because my happiness
Comes from seeing you smile
Even though it's temporary
And I only see it for a little while

'Cause once you've milked me
For all I'm worth,
You leave me behind
To become one with the earth

You move on.
I'm alone and forgotten
Feeling so small,
Unimportant and rotten

Time spent
Seems to mean nothing now
People don't value others
And I can't understand how.

Try as I might
It's a concept I cannot conceive
I have so much hope
And faith to believe

That someday my kindness and time
Will not be in vain
That I can come out of hiding
And reveal the pain

And no one will run
Or scream at the site,
They will hold me
And whisper "Everything is alright;

You're broken,
In need of healing.
Thank you for trusting me
And being so revealing."

Kisses on my forehead,
Strokes across my hair,
Little caresses against my hand
Just to remind they're there

I've been so long without
That the softest touch
And a few kind words
Seem to mean so much

It's terrifying, really
Being vulnerable this way
But I can't apologize
Because I have nothing more to say.

This mind of mine
Cannot be tamed
I can't have you look at me,
I'm too ashamed

Of who I am
And what I've done
There's no solace,
Only a ****** of one

It'll be alright,
No one will miss her for long
After all,
Everything about her was wrong.

The me I used to be,
She's going to disappear
With all this torment around her,
She can't survive here.

She's too forgiving,
Far too naive
She can't seem to grasp
That people hide tricks up their sleeve

Not everyone
Means what they say
Or say what they mean
It's all for gain, at the end of the day

It doesn't matter
Who they hurt
With kind words
And some harmless flirt

Until the end
Words are all they were
And in the end
The actions are what broke her

That make her shy away
And build a massive wall
So high and fortified
No one can get in at all

She wants to allow it,
To let them back in
But the damage is done
There's nowhere to begin

Trust them--
You aren't as important as you seem
Stop chasing your
Silly semblance of a day dream.

Ignorance is not bliss
This scarred heart goes to show
That you will be at peace
When there's nothing more to know.

Spiraling downward,
Out of control
Chaotic beauty
Trying to find a hold

Keeping it all
Bottled deep inside,
Your heart is a maze
With many places to hide.

Keeping yourself
Just out of reach
Tired of listening
To everybody preach

About what to do
And who to be
Everyone so focused
On what they can see

But hidden inside
Under lock and key
Are all the feelings
He gave to me

Feelings of happiness,
Feelings of love,
Of fitting into someone's arms
Perfectly, like a glove.

And just when I was safe,
He took it away
And left me
Wondering why each day

Why aren't I good enough?
Why can't it be me?
Why doesn't he realize
What everyone else can see?

I sit here alone
Vacant and yearning
For him to return
While his world keeps turning.

I'm stuck in limbo
Unable to move on
It was real to me
Though his feelings were all gone

It's hard to accept,
Harder to believe
That I meant nothing
And that's how he could leave.

But how can someone be
So thoughtless and cruel?
As a person
Follow one rule:

Do unto others
What you want done to you
Maybe he'll change
And become honest and true

But until then
I'll remain alone
Because I deserve more
Than what I've been shown.