Dear November,
Please remember that I'm not strong anymore.
In December,
I might not be here to see the world.
So please November,
Please help me along.
Open my eyes and show me all the fun,
Let me make new friends and perhaps a lover.
I want to be here to see the summer,
Winter can be such a ******.
Make me happy and don't snow too much,
For cleaning up is such a fuss.
Be good November.

You changed your
picture and it made me so
happy to see
even though I can see less of you now
and I miss that smile of yours
but my, does this photo accentuate those
beautiful eyes
The way the light
radiates from your face is
amazing
as it contrasts against the
dark frame of your hair
please, my darling,
won't you have some
cocoa with me?
It's rather chilly tonight.
Please, come a little closer
nuzzle yourself
into me
like you
used to.
Whisper secrets.
Make me laugh.
Make me blush.
Besides, I don't want you to be cold.

i look at the burn peeling on my arm and i think about all the **** that got me here
from the red asterisk i drew with a knife three years ago
in the butter yellow room of my older sister's house
when we were homeless
to the childhood summer i spent as a lake baby
in my grandmother's car

i finger the scores of cuts on my arms
my thighs
old, most of them
some too deep to fade
each scar has a face
most of them are
mommy's

i like to remember her from old photographs
sun-bleached hair down to her unblemished thighs
the most inexplicable shine in her face

i think of how different those photographs would be
if she knew then that her daughter hurt her body
every time she thought of her mother

i think the smile would be different

but i look at her now
grayed,
aging...
still smiling.
as if she didn't know
that she made me a tiger
gave me these stripes
as if she didn't know
that it is her fault i am a killer

i look at the burn peeling on my arm
and for once this self harm isn't pretty to me
it is very, very ugly
a big, blistering red mark
marring my freckles
i wonder when it will fade
or if it will at all
i wish i could burn more than
just this arm
of mine.

This poem got up and wrote itself
While I was fast asleep
This poem soon enough found out
It had no need for me

Guess it felt it needed to get
A few things off its chest
Wandering around the halls of poetry
While I was snoring in my bed

This poem made its planned escape
From the clutches of my mind
With a basic need that it must feed
On the artistry of rhyme

Taking full advantage of
My unconsciousness
As I lay here dreaming
In my nightly world of bliss

Yes, this poem wrote itself
Without the benefit of me
Proving it can do a better job
When I am sound asleep

i am cracked ribs when it's
raining and the road
is slick
with car oil-
car crashes.
stinking rubble,
the bottle of oxycontin
that rests by your bed,
cold dead feet motionless in the morgue.
i am the graceless stroke of a violin
in unpracticed hands,
the rip rip ripping of a dress
torn off,
the chill in winter breath.
you are the sun that found me
fixable,
not hopeless
or yellow addiction.
you were the cast that healed my broken
bones
piecing back together my
fragmented whole.

i want to go back to the innocence
                                                                ­                                of holding your soft hands in mine
                                                            ­                                     i want to feel the warm summer breeze
                                                                ­                                                     and the wistful love of the ocean
                                                           ­                                  but the trouble with the ocean is
                                                                ­  eventually the tide recedes                          
                               and leaves love lost in the waves

                  hate                 longing           hurt                 excitement
    wonder     confusion             hope            sadness                    madness

of a thousand other emotions  
      
         pain                    sorrow                 fear            uncertainty          frustration
lust            ­    anger                    passion          trust              ­      love                happiness