Have I become her?
that untouchable sultry lady
whose dress flows in the wind
wisps of blue that match the
color of the sun in her hair.

Flyaways are held in place
a sprayed on gentle hold,
if you stand closer maybe you'll
breathe in the scent of Dior,
or a knockoff, it's your call.
Not to mention, the taste of
ash on my lips and kiss.

But she and I, we're, oh, so different.
She is always
unsure
insecure
lost.
And I've found myself
and I'd never try to be cute
and with you.
I respect myself too much.

The mirror stained with our memories, pictures
I am not in many of them
I count;
four pictures, we look happy
The bleeding sky was the only thing that gave  us release
Like the winter would fill our bones
and cigarette smoke would ignite the fire in our eyes
that had long since burned out
we lay on that floor on the balcony till dawn
talking about how
we will never be good enough and
life is pointless
I show her my scars apathetically
nothing effects
me anymore
My bubble cant be burst
surrounded by static
scream
want to scream

This is misplaced guilt
watching you spiral,
I have to remind myself
it's not my fault.

I can't bring myself
to care the same again,
We were never meant
to last as long as we did.

Self destruction is
all too familiar.
I wouldn't wish it on anybody,
it's not your fault.

I'll always wish you
the best happiness.
You know a girl like me,
I was never meant to be  yours.

How these tables have turned,
there's somebody that will
Be there like you once were.
But I won't be at fault.

I choose to follow my
heart to bliss,
Nothing will stop me
from this.

I hate to say it,
but I hope you can
Follow your chest.
You know you've got it
For a reason.

The best poems of mine,
were written in my heart,
only for you to read;
you forgot, where it was kept,
and left without a word.