While you’ve been smiling
I’ve been dying.

While you’ve been laughing
I’ve been crying.

While you’ve been kissing her
I’ve remained alone.

While you’ve been talking with her
I’ve been drowning in silence.

While you’ve been dreaming
I’ve been thinking of you.

While you’ve been happy
I’ve been writing stupid poems
And wishing death upon myself
Because I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

It snowed atop the mountain,
a cold wind blow,  
in the meadows the winter has said hello.

Just walk all over me
Leaving your *****
Footprints behind
For me to clean up
Breaking my heart
And scattering the
Pieces all around
For me to pick
Up after
Tearing me apart
Piece by piece
Till only crumbs
Of humanity
Are left
Too broken to
Even piece together
All the kings horses
And all the kingsmen

The self needs
   an inner hideaway
   dark secrets it holds
   which must be kept at bay

   they gnaw and they fester
   afraid to surface in the light of day
   life is lived in lies and deceit
  fear makes the person its perpetual prey

Words spinning round
The galaxy in
My head
The Big Dipper
Ready to scoop up
Errors in the
Making
Planets join in company
The moon lighting
Its way
And stars
Are dancing
How much does
The Milky Weigh
Is there a
Black Hole
To hide these
All in
Star light
Star bright

Give me just one second more
A chance to see your smile again
Let me hold in mind your glow
Before you go out through that door

You say that time will make amends
glances once seen last forever
In the end and memories
Are ever sown
But how I shake and fear
Unknowns
I need the glow of your
Smile once more

And then too soon it passed to morn and all was left were
Fading fast into the dawn
As I slept I saw your eyes
And smile as keepsakes
In my waking life

Now I want to sleep again
And dream of promises said
on your lips as we walked
Hand in hand in clouds above
This worldly land.

Give me just one second more
For I'm not ready to dream
Alone

Futile is the search
          if meaning does not emerge