A man once came up to me
He grabbed me by the arms
And he shook me,
shouting,

"LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! CAN'T YOU SEE IT?
You are part of something so wonderful!
You are a gift and you were given a gift.
And don't you ever, ever forget it."

As I looked at him in astonishment,
He simply smiled and off he went.

i saw you
standing by those days
all energy and fervor,
you had a dream
to dream so big
you'd never see the bottom.
but when you did
i got so lost,
i let it get
into my head,
it felt so dreary
my life, so weary
holding everything,
but nothing at all.
you left me standing
on the side on
the brick sidewalk
with a gun in my hand.
i said to you,
don't leave again
you said to me,
i'm always here if you can only feel.
i put the gun
up to the sky,
shot it in the air,
and with one fell swoop of the night
my bullets and rage were no longer there.
no angels came crashing to the ground,
the world didn't end in fire,
if it ended at all it never began
and the memories of you were never there.
i step out of my robe of ice
to a world of pins and needles,
the pain it pushes deep my dear,
if only you don't forget it.
but when you whispered in
my ear from the other
side, that night i knew it oh so clearly,
there is no bottom in this life.
i knew you'd be there every moment
for better or for worse,
not out of want,
not out of love,
simply because we're always here.

do you want me to tell your fortune to you?
i only ask a small price.
i'll tell you from start to finish,
yes, come on, let's go?
you awoke the day you were born
with a cry upon your face,
you awoke very startled
having just left another place.
you grew up bright and curious;
the stars winked at you,
the grass was soft beneath you,
and you never let the rain get you down.
but you know all that;
you want to know what has yet to pass?
you're only twenty years old,
are you sure you're ready to go?
oh yes, a small price
i forgot, had i mentioned?
the price is your soul my dear,
are you ready for your lesson?

I'm lighting up a cigarette inhaling the suicidal taste of nicotine;
It helps me calm my mind while damaging me from within.
Thinking what to write today while keeping myself sane;
It's hard to escape madness knowing it is driving me insane.

So I took this pen inked with eternal damnation;
Which words to suffice the needs for desolation.
My thoughts run wild just by thinking of her;
It triggers something that makes my words clever.

And so from tragedy I'm writing about love and unity;
Blessed by the heavens and strengthen by the holy trinity.
That someday every one will realize that no darkness remains free;
For there is a moment that in the shadow comes a light that shines brightly.

The sun is shining through the trees
Tiny rain-washed bluebells
Are growing at my feet
Birds are calling to each other
Moss is growing on the ground
And lichen on the trunks of trees
Dappled sunshine lights my path
Ferns are showing off their green lace
And dewdrops are sparkling on the grass
While the sky couldn't be a bluer sapphire hue
A path of cherry blossoms in bloom
Tower overhead
Their sweet fragrance dancing on the breeze
A circle of mushrooms
Is where the Fairies dance each night
That is where I dance too
Today is such a lovely day
Spent in my enchanted Woodland

*~Marian~

No matter how much I spill,
how much I try to explain,
how much I love,
how much pain I endure,
how heart broken,
how alone I feel,
poetry cannot save my soul.

But girl,
it sure feels good!

I remember when I met you
you were different to all of her other many boyfriends
we could talk about the things I liked
you liked them too.

Months after you and her had finished your chapter in life
you stepped into mine
you dazzled dizzied bewildered me
showed me that it was alright to like the things I did

You wrote poems
you made me feel special
I thought that you liked me
the way I liked you

Then you left for what seemed a thousand years
the night I found out about your new girl I didn't cry
I remained content until an excessive amount of alcohol brought out all the feelings
the words spewed out of me
the same way the varied assortments of drink would do later that night

We still spoke on occasion
we shared an embrace or two when we accidentally met in the street
I was still crazy about you
even though I was aware that you were crazy about her

You ignore me now
we don't talk
you cast me aside
like everybody else did

I think of you a lot lately
but not in the way I used to
If I ever had the pleasure of speaking with you again
I would remain silent
I have nothing to say to you

The only things I have are the memories of you
the arguments
the embraces
the exams

It's all over now.

I understand that everything I thought we had was all in my imagination
when you said you loved me you didn't mean it in the way I did
but I can't be with anybody else because I feel as if it should be you
I'd like to say you ruined me but you didn't
I've ruined myself
I'm so used to being in a state of heart break that I will put myself back there in order to feel comfortable

I want to forget you
in the same way that you've forgotten me
thrown me away
left me

I hope you never find out how much I cared for you
because it's embarrassing for me
I can't believe I ever felt that way about anybody
I let somebody through the hard exterior that I have
I pretend I have no emotion but you made me vulnerable
I let you in.