i am tired, and my bones are sore and at times
i want to curl up within the ground and
have the tufts of grass and dried up leaves call
me home.
at moments i am so tired of others,
their teeth, too much shown and how it all
seems like paint still trying to dry.
i am tired of men waggling their lips, and i am tired
of women always defending and i am tired of people
pushing my veins inwards.

i feel like weeds trying to grow in botanical gardens.
i cannot fit.
i cannot speak enough or be quiet enough.
i am shoved into outlines designed for others.

i do not know where my fingers should lie, and when i am
drunk and screaming i (almost) feel the most
alive, but then
when i am surrounded by history in beautifully spaced
architecture, i am
(almost) alive.

where do i start and where do i end.

why do bruises on me look like jewelry?
i am nothing. but i am you.
if i bite his shoulders hard enough, i can find bones.
i can find the Great Wall of China.
these lines on hundred year old parchment has become my salvation.

i want to be alone,
yet i want his nails digging me up.
i want to hear her tongue on her teeth,
yet my lungs can't expand
enough.

The yards are empty.
only dirt and other detritus
clutter the mid-morning landscape.

There are no children
outside laughing and playing
running red rover over
the black tops on Saturday morning.

There are no parents smiling,
leaning on the old siding,
while the funny false teeth
wearing grandfather
tells stories to the younglings
about the old days.

Silence is the norm.

The fish fries, family reunions,
fairs, carnivals, and circuses
no longer make this circuit.

The gas station, and grocer’s
are boarded up
leaving only a lonely trail of
house after house
sprouting weeds and vacancy signs.

Frost bites at an empty hand
Snow covers and empty land
Hats cover hairless heads
Tombstones cover the freshly dead
Familiar faces wear stranger's smiles
I've been lost for many miles
My old home forever lost
A new one found, but at what cost?

A red orange blossom, on a tree it grows
Over my head as the wind blows
The sweet less scent, being carried away
The last cold of the year, beings to fray.

Like an alien in a spotlight
With her magnifying glasses on
My mother as she worked, up all night
Did invisible weaving till dawn

I would watch her when I couldn’t sleep
Honing in on that hole in the suit
Intently, her concentration deep
Weaving tiny threads enlarged like jute

In other-worldly light she labored
I was afraid she’d lose her eyesight
Watching her focus never wavered
Her face all aglow in the lamplight

Invisible weaving, I inquired
How tediously she plied her craft
Worked for the money that she required
Made the warp and weft of fabric last

Reconstruction, undetectable
No more burn, or tear, or fabric blight
Weaving magic so incredible
Its wound now perfect by morning’s light

She taught me much that I'm still making
From her life that now I'm grieving
Sewing, crocheting and great baking
But never invisible weaving

The picture of her life that mattered
I now see how she toiled so finely
And that the wrinkles in the fabric
Of my own life splayed out so blindly

The vision of my eyes bedazzled
Incandescent, her face in the beam
Unaware how her mind unraveled
As depression stole her ev'ry dream

The threads of DNA defining
Who I’ve become I'm now believing
My mother’s hand in that designing
Of my own Invisible Weaving

There will be a day
When all your dreams come true
When you do what you love
And make it through

I wait for the day when I’ll see you at the top
Touring the world would become your full time job
When you’d inspire millions like you inspire me now
They’d look up to you and you’d take a bow

I look forward to holding your hand when you’re there
Each day, that’s something I ask from God in my prayers
You’ve the potential to change the world
Your life is more meaningful than you think
The art you make will make people re think
No matter where you are, we’ll always be in sync

There’s plans and there’s a vision
I’ll stand by you when you struggle the most
And when you make foolish decisions
You are filled with greatness
You are filled with excellence
You’ve what it takes to make the world a better place

I believe in you more than you believe in yourself
I’ll be your guiding light on your darkest days
I’ll be your faith in every phase
I’ll show you how beautiful you are
And that you can shine brighter than any star
When you lose faith, I’ll hand you your guitar
Ask you to sing, and I’ll be your radar
Put all your problems on my shoulders
Now when we are young and when we’ll be older

I want you become the best you
And show the world how it’s done
I want all your dreams to come true
But every now and then, make sure to make a home run

i see you in her
the way she just loves to argue
drives me insane, she does
but all i can feel for her is love
i see you in her
that mischievous smile
the little spark in her eyes
reflecting the light in her soul
i see you in her
the jump in her step
the snort in her laugh
the odd little things she finds funny
i see you in her
the determination
the strength
she refuses to let anyone push her down
and always stands tall again

she may have my speckled eyes
my curls and my toes
but in the end its your spirit in her
and she also has your nose
its miraculous to see
how she's like you and me
and at the same time
a personality all in herself
she's a wonder, she is
just like you
i've lived loving one of you
**and now i've got two!