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The simple feeling
of desiring to be left alone,
becomes twisted and thoughtful,
when the being adds,
I don't want to feel alone

Day by day I wander and fade,
at night I cry to the stars and worship the moon,
for how could the sun be so cruel,
relentless in forever outshining me,

What defines a person,
the requirements society hurls into our faces,
keep certain issues bottled inside,
like a massive fright ball pulled back in a sling, forever,
like the lone ferryman never looking back,
on the lost souls crossing the river Styx,

Why we're never alone,
surrounded by masses of vibrant moving people,
a smile here and there,
a bite on the sharp tongue,
and at the end of the seconds that make up each day,
we feel so alone and rejected,
that we are able to,
swallow the black hole
with ease.
#why are we alone.
 May 2016 Cecil Miller
Emre Fatih
green eyes
how come
that warm
gently rides
to springs of heaven
from frosty blue ice
then turns black ravens
to brightest white doves
and
the hopeless cravens
to bravest heroes

lashes: turkish bows
glances like arrows
runnin' baby roes
make you chase for a while
what a perky look
cheerful naughty snook
but flowing jungle brook
sings her lullaby

a shiny pinky smile
carries an angel tribe
withinside
of the nook
thus devil got riled
was expelled and allied
with the nebbish adam
-rosy pink lips wiled
and might
clothe the seven seas
by the holly tide
 May 2016 Cecil Miller
gray rain
Everywhere I've been
everywhere I go
everything I've seen
everything I know
is written on the walls
and burried in my soul
 May 2016 Cecil Miller
Yv S
i should have never left home.
i should have never left the roof, the suffocation
and just stayed to die under blankets,
lest i die out in fresh air and spring.
i wish i could look you in the eye
and laugh with you, hold your hand,
let it sweat.
but i would have much rather died at home.
from here there are blinders on my eyes,
my windows and i measure my worth in
how many times you come over to just say *"hey"
,
(you lose points if you bring someone with you.)
another shadow cast in this already dark room,
i'd much rather die here, selfishly, with you pleading
for me to talk to you. then again, you never have.
i'll rather rot in this room, deluded and empty,
alive for now, but i'm waiting. i'll hold my own hand,
sweat it out, pretend it's yours.
i pretend to know what you'd kiss like, with your hands
against my cheek. i'll never know. (maybe i should leave--)
i should have never left home.
i'll relax here and wait for nothing to happen,
and for you to never kiss me at all.
about wanting love for someone who has it for someone else. and also, a fuckton of anxiety and not being able to leave the house and enjoy your friends and the person you're in love with because of said anxiety. about delusion and how mental illness can ******* you and make you lose everything because you believed you'd already lost it long ago.
“Hey, I’m third-wheeling! Haven’t done this in a while!”
Wait… No… I’m going to stop you right there
Just because your friend has been texting me daily
Does not mean that we are any sort of duo for you half-heartedly attach to
Because I am a ******* unicycle
Admittedly, I don’t always stand too well on my own
But all it takes is some momentum and a little bit of blind faith
And I’ll be the one-wheeled contraption staggering unsteadily over any terrain imaginable
The only sort of second tire you’ll be hearing about for now
Is the declaration that I’m “two tired” to deal with this *******
Peddle your flirtations all you like, I’m not buying it
I’m the single spokesperson for a single set of spokes
You cannot tread on me just because my tread is wearing thin
Notice the lack of handlebars, you see, I am in control
Although my balance is unpredictable at best
I don’t have any brakes, because I’m getting sick of being broken
Do not mistake clowning around for simplicity, you see, I am easier said than done
The unicycle is not an easily mastered skill
And sure, perhaps I should be grateful that someone even bothers to try
But if you’re trying to shift gears, I should warn you
That doesn’t appear to be an option
I should warn you
All rides are solo
I should warn you
Unicycles might go in circles
But at least it's what they're meant to do
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