Cayla frazier

Sep 2014

damsel in distress

To my family,
I know i am such a disappointment
For that,
I am sorry

Every night
I am asking the stars
What's wrong with me?
Why do you hate me?

You can't even see the right in me
It is like, FLAWS is tattooed in my forehead
You always remind me that
I am not good enough and never will

I am on the stage
People's clapping their hands
I am searching for your presence
How stupid i am for expecting you to be there

And now i am doubting myself
If am really your child
Can you blame me?
If I always taste the bitterness of your rejection

I am not perfect
I got flaws
I make mistakes
And so are you

Mom,dad
I want you to know
That i did my best
But i guess my best wasn't good enough

Why do I have to prove myself to you so that you can accept me as your child?

#poem #poetry #depression #doubt #pain #family

Sep 2014

Someone

Codependent and Empathetic

She called me "codependent" and "empathetic".
I thought I was.

I feel bad for things I shouldn't.
I care so much for so many.

Is that what it is?

I don't know how to stop.
And all I want to do is cry.

I can't: fix, help, or care for all.
I especially can't change other people.

So, will I always feel this bad?

I guess i'll wait and see...

Sep 2014

Matt

Going to Bed Alone Again

I just wish I had someone to hold
But I'm going to bed alone again
Oh well, at least I have stuffed animals

Sep 2014

Seth Guy Simonich

White Noise

It's hard to be me
It's hard to focus
THEY ARE LYING TO YOU
I can never leave myself alone
I can never turn down the white noise
NOTHING YOU DO WILL TURN OUT RIGHT
I know it's only in my mind
But that doesn't make it any less real
THEY ARE AVOIDING YOU
NOBODY CARES
YOU ARE ALONE

I hate being alone

#depression #alone #loneliness

Sep 2014

Seth Guy Simonich

Future Tense

In five years, I hope this **** is long gone
I want my broken life back on track
I want to figure myself out

In ten years, I hope to be successful
Not in the eyes of society,
But in the eyes of myself and my loved ones

In twenty years, I hope to have family
A happy, healthy, loving family

In the unforeseeable future, I hope to pass as a joyful old man
Full of stories of Love, Adventure, and excitement
Leaving behind a legacy for those who outlive me

Tomorrow, I hope to be happy.

Sep 2014

Irate Watcher

leave me alone.

You say
I am turning
into the lady
with the large book
and CD collection,
with isolated friends
and few dates,
whose only love
will be a cat man
one day.
But I'm enjoying
my Saturday
with Kerouac
and kin,
dreaming of
yellow lines and
the open road
instead of
yellow lights
and bars.
Plus,
I'd rather write
these lines alone,
than spend my night
talking in code.

I got places to be, but no will to be there.

#lonely #depressed #alone #beaten