i am alone
falling to pieces
no one to catch me when i fall
no one to see me as i am
no one to be there for me
no one to ask if i was okay
my actions judged
my thoughts confused
i stand on my own two feet
with more baggage then is needed
ready to fall
emotionally unstable
a girl who loves
a girl who feels
a girl with emotions
never understood
free
what good is that?
when you have no one
broken and used up
sad and frustrated
crying on the inside
no one can see
no one wants to
she has her head up high
but she's still dying
ignoring it
and pushing people away
it's all she's good at
safer, more secure
she wants to fly
to go away
far far away
to a better place
a place of peace
unknown
i am alone
forever and always

I sit to think about it all
Eyes wide open, ready to fall
At any time, ready to give up
Almost gone completely
Slowly fading, smaller and smaller
The world i gave up on
People who gave up on me
I sit to think about it all
And i wonder,
With my eyes wide open
Who gave up on who?
Was it me?
Or them?
Will i ever truly know?
So, i sit back, and wonder
Will i make it?

i am so alone.
everything seems so out of reach.
im lost.
you can never find me.
it happened so fast.
i never saw it coming.
always looking for comfort.
do i even know what that means?
im lost.
everything's bottled up inside.
if i take it out on you, im sorry.
will it be like this forever?
or will i find that "perfect" somebody.
i feel like im insane.
always alone with my thoughts.
i need someone to share these things with.
i need someone who will care.
i need someone who will love me for me.
everything feels so cold.
fragile and in pieces.
im messed up.
who would want this?
i wouldn't.
unstable and insecure.
speaking my own mind.
even if it's not wanted.
will i be strong?
can i stand it?
or will i crumble down alone?
i wish i knew.
it would save a lot of grief.
then i wouldn't have to guess.
i wouldn't have to cry.
i wouldn't have to punish myself.
i wouldn't be so out of control.
and i wouldn't be so scared.
the things just pile on.
no warning signs or flashing lights.
BOOM, and its just there!
i have lost what little control i have.
will i ever get that back?
or will i wither and die?
alone and afraid.

a flame
melted gold
an angel
sweet as sugar
above us all

an explosion
orange spark
lights so perfect
the dark, a void

practice makes perfect
I have practiced the art of making everything impossible for myself
I have successfully made my life a living hell for myself, and for God only knows how many others
I have deep regret for many things that have happened in my short life
It will just get worse
practice makes perfect

my heart skips
the sun moves north
I run to the hills
the clouds follow

I hear a voice
calling me
calling me
whispers of love
calling me
calling me

feeling light
hearts racing
rocks skipping
dawn coming

I hear his voice
calling me
calling me over
and over
whispers of love
calling me
over and over
calling..

sunsets
over the hills
clouds like your lips
whispering over
and over

calling me
I hear the voice
calling me
again and again
calling me
calling...

I run away... ?

The mind is like rough waves
with barely any breaks in the wind
constent and unforgiving
but with sunshine
and love
hate and sadness
anger
with rain and wind
moving in and out
eventually that wave will be calm
it will end
it will die
gone
would the other waves notice
that one wave has left
no
they will continue
with the sunshine
and love
hate and sadness
anger

blue waves
sorta; kinda,
a little bit shaky

pink oceans
sorta; kinda,
a little bit crazy

green moons
sorta; kinda,
a little bit fun

purple people
sorta; kinda,
a little bit strange