You knew it was ****** up
To show up here,
The only place I can go to forget
It's like you don't want me to
And if you don't want me to forget,
Then you never wanted it to end
And if that's true
Then why are we
On separate sides of the table
Both lonely?

And I love you,
So much more than I love myself

That to say I lost myself
When you left
Is an insult 

To you

Never forget that I defended you to the death
Every time I was told I deserved better
I looked around and kept finding
You

I'm no stranger to grief
And as days get blacker
And I begin to forget how it feels
To smile
My hands are still shaking
Stomach complaining
At the lack of attention
I know that it's all a process
And one day there will be
No more tears to cry
And I will begin my ascent
I won't remember you
Just that it didn't even look like you
When you left me
(You left me. You ******* left me.)
I will remember that I gave you everything
And you threw me out in return

Time heals all wounds
But I don't ever want to be
Healed from you

I want your wounds
Deep in my flesh
Your name on my breath
Your hands in my dreams
And your face in my nightmares
I'd rather be haunted by you
Than forget you
Rather live in sweet agony
Remembering trembling
And shallow breathing
Yearning and hopelessness
Home in your arms
I'd rather die a thousand times
Than forget this