eyes cast down we find safety and solace in the dark
where no prying souls live to tell our secrets to the world
and i know you better than god -
i can read your every breath as a song
each hitch a lyric

i hate this power
but you ought to know i have it

mirrors
are
just
glass
and
you
are
more
than
that

Nobody falls for you,
you only fall for yourself
Your head stuck on a shelf
Nothing but your ego left to sell

But you couldnt let it go
This hell is already here and melded
Manipulation and consideration-
All a grey shield

Its already been welded.
No space for
Me.

i see those good students with books on their knee
and i think to myself i wish that could be me
but my mind is so scattered pure thought is a lie
these dark nights make me feel i could hang up and die
for i see no near dawn when i'll lift up my head
without cursing the stars for not keeping me dead

When I wrote you this, I was in a really bad place
   do you remember?

My faith is practically dead right now, future me
   do you remember?

You're missing the woman you love that you lost
   do you remember?

She's that sparkle of gold stuck in your soul
   do you remember?

Or how strained things are between Kayla and you
   do you remember?

Remember that night you wanted to end it all?
   do you remember?

Have you come to terms with your friend's suicide, yet?
   do you remember?

You're going to be a warrior someday... I have to endure
   do you remember?

Has anyone wanted your love, your passion?
   do you remember?

I hope you're married by the time I read this again...
   do you remember?

Maybe you'll still be where I am now, stuck in love
   do you remember?

Just know it was worth it, loving her. Even though she's lost...
   *do you remember?

i do not want to remember you
as you are right now -
all sticks and stones
and broken bones,
a rough sketch of a person,
shaky lines as if the artist
was having a panic attack in the corner of a coffee shop.
tears fall onto the page and blur the lines
so i do not know where you stop
and the medicated beat of your heart begins.
you were a work of art,
a statue carved out of marble,
the universe took its time creating you
long hair like princess
but the strength of a warrior.
but as you lay in your bed,
diseases erasing you so aggressively
they tore a hole right through the page
and we cannot color you in as fast
as you are fading.
you are fragile,
a paper doll
turned into a sympathy card
*i'm sorry for your loss.